Page 283 of Blood & Betrayals

His gaze flicks to mine, his eyes narrowing, but then he sighs. “Fine.”

I nod and give him a tight smile. “I’ll have an answer for you by the end of the week.”

The headmaster places my list down and picks up the message from the killer again. “Dismissed,” he grumbles, his attention already long gone.

Connor doesn’t speak again until we get outside. “What messages?” he asks. I miss his hand in mine, but asking for affection now doesn’t feel right.

I exhale. “Listen well, this is just the beginning.” Connor shudders, and I nod gravely. “That was the message as of three days ago. It was random letters on different posts from what looked like a bot account. But we need to find the owner of the account to know if any of the other comments were blocked or deleted.”

Connor slides his hand into mine and squeezes, reassuring me. The rest of the walk is silent. When we get to the door to Kelpie, we linger awkwardly outside.

I look up at him, my hand still in his. “Are you coming in?” I ask, unable to hide the hopefulness in my voice but not wanting to guilt him into it.

Connor looks down at me and considers for a moment, and I can see the moment he decides. His shoulders relax a little, and his eyes sparkle a fraction. He nods, and I open the door, leading him up the stairs to the dorm in silence.

We step inside, and I ask, “Drink?”

Connor nods and sits down on the couch. I pour two heavy-handed glasses of bourbon and hand him one before sitting down next to him. He tosses it back in one gulp and then looksup at me. “Do you really love me?” The question is shockingly painful, and my stomach clenches.

“What?” I ask. It is mind-boggling that he even needs to ask, but then, why wouldn’t he? I’ve been lying to him almost our entire relationship. I still am. Why wouldn’t he doubt my words and me? I am still unable to show him the depths of my soul in the hopes that if I hide them long enough, they will go dormant permanently.

“Do you?” Connor asks again, keeping his gaze on me.

I sit next to him. “Of course I do. You know I don’t say those words lightly.”

Connor exhales and leans in, brushing his lips over my forehead. “I just… had to make sure.”

I look down at my still full tumbler. “I guess I’m bad at showing it.”

Connor watches me, his hand on my lower back. “You are.” He pauses for a long moment but then surprises me by continuing. “But then you smother my face in kisses and cling to me. You take care of me, and I know you will protect me. You,” he takes a moment to collect himself, “you let me sleep over.”

I look up at him, tears welling in my eyes.

“You show me in little ways, and those little ways add up.”

I shake my head. “It’s not enough. I know that.”

Connor puts his empty glass on the coffee table and gently pinches my chin, turning my face to him. “It is. For me.”

“I’ve never done this before, Connor. You know that I’ve never had a family, not truly. I’ve never had a boyfriend either, and I’ve never been in love. I’ve never been accountable for anyone but myself.” And that was so painfully true. Torin was never my boyfriend. We were held together by lies and deceit, by manipulation and desperation. There was no love, no kindness. Until Connor and Alice, I don’t think I even knew what love was. I only knew the lack.

Conor cups my cheek. “I know that now.”

I inhale deeply and wrap my hand around his wrist, pulling it away from my face. “Connor, I’m not saying this to make excuses. I’m saying it because…” I swallow, looking away, “you need to decide if this is what you signed up for.”

Connor pulls his hand free from my hold and cups my cheek again. “I just needed to understand why you weren’t letting me in.” He strokes my cheek with his thumb. “I love you, Summer Tuatha De Daanan. If you let me, I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

“I love you, Connor Morningstar.”

“It’s going to take me time, but I’m–I’m not going to leave you.”

“Take you time?” I ask, fear gripping me again.

“To move on from this,” Connor says, still stroking my cheek comfortingly. “I’m not going to leave you, but I need to learn to trust you again.”

I take a deep drink. “Right.” I clear my throat. “Well, you can take the bed. I’ll sleep on the couch.” I feel my cheeks flush. “That is if you’re planning to stay.”

Connor shakes his head, and at first, I think he’s going to say he’s not staying, but then he says, “I’ll take the couch.”

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