Page 280 of Blood & Betrayals

"I wanted to protectyou."

"I'm the warrior."

"No, Connor. To me, you are my boyfriend," I say, covering one of his massive fists with my much smaller hand.

"I'm supposed to be strong." Connor looks back at me.

"Youarestrong. Tell me how to fix this. You want me on my knees, begging for your forgiveness? I'll do it."

Connor shakes his head. "I don't want that."

I swallow down the lump of fear in my throat. "Are you going to leave me?"

Connor looks at me for the longest moment. "I don't know."

I flinch but try to hold back my tears. I pushed him too far. He has every right to leave me. Fuck, if someone had done to me what I did to him, I would leave. I lied to him and kept him at arm's length. Hell, I am continuing to do both. But the truths I'm withholding are not ones I need to share. These are mine, and I will not let them define my future.

Connor looks away again. "This really hurts," he whispers, and I have to swallow the whimper that threatens to pass my lips. I won't make this harder for him or play on his love. He deserves so much better than that, so much better than me.

"I'm so sorry." I close my eyes, my whole body feeling like it's collapsing in on itself like a dying star. "What do you need from me?" I ask.

Connor exhales heavily. "I don't know. I need to protect you, but I also need space."

I wipe a stray tear away. "Right, space," I say, sliding my hand off his.

"But I can't because you're in danger, and I love you."

I shake my head. "You should have your space. I'll make sure Alice is by my side every second."

Connor grabs my hand back, and I look up at him in surprise. "I need to be by your side every second."

I shake my head harder, quietly sobbing, feeling like I am unraveling. "If you don't have this space, Connor, you'll resentme forever. Take some time. Think things through, and I'll be here when you're ready."

"No. You are done making decisions for me," Connor growls.

I wince, looking away. I've never heard so much anger in his voice, and I deserve it. "Okay. I'm sorry."

Connor sighs and kneels on the floor in front of me. He grips my hands in his and looks up at me. "I need to protect the women I love, even when I'm mad at her."

I force the words out through the sobs I am desperately trying to keep in. "But you… you're not sure… you want to be… with me anymore. Which… I totally understa?—"

"Stop. I shouldn't have said that. I know I want to be with you. I want to marry you, Summer. I still love you. I just… I feel betrayed."

My chin wobbles, and I nod, pulling my hands away to cover my mouth, trying to physically hold back the sobs.

Connor cups my face. "I'm sorry. I know it's… I don't know. I'm not good at these eloquent speeches." A tear slides down Connor's cheek. "Rafe had to protect me. When I saw the blood, I–I immediately saw Gia's face and?—"

"Blood?" The word is muffled by my hands, and I drop them.

Connor nods, holding my gaze. "There's been another… That's where I found out about you being the target. The headmaster mentioned it to me at the… scene."

All the fear I felt before is nothing compared to the wave that washes over me now. My entire body goes cold, and I can literally hear the blood surging through my veins. Connor feels the tremors wracking my body and pulls me down to straddle his lap. He puts my face into his neck and holds me tight, instinctively rocking as terror grips me in its teeth and shakes.

"I can protect you now," he whispers.

I can't stop trembling. The memory of Alicia's blood against my skin is a visceral one, and the images of the bodies flashthrough my mind like some sick slideshow. Down, soft feathers brush against my cheek, and I open my eyes to see Connor has completely wrapped us in his wings. There are barely any white ones left, and I finally let the sobs come.

"You've been so scared for so long." Connor runs his fingers through my hair, comforting me. He hums a melody, and I let the song travel through me. Every cell it touches releases, and I feel like I can breathe again.

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