Page 278 of Blood & Betrayals

"Months?" Connor asks.

I rub my hand over my face. "Since… the second murder."

"And you never told me."

I look at him, and the second I do, I regret it. His body has recoiled in pain, and it shines in his eyes. "Connor, please understand," I begin, my voice shaking. "I was only trying to protect you."

Connor shakes his head and runs his hand through his hair. "Protect me? How was that protecting me?"

"Con. After you saw that victim, you were… traumatized. Then, when I suspected I might be the target, I couldn't tell you because you were already struggling, and it was breaking my heart. After the next murder, there were finals, and you were sostressed, big guy." I move in closer and place my hands on his chest. "I should have told you, but?—"

Connor flinches away from my touch, and I swear to all the gods, I hear my heart break. "And after the next murder? Or the one after that? Why couldn't you tell me? I had to hear it from the headmaster?"

"Connor, I…" I try to think of something to say. I don't know how to make this better.

Connor’s eyes grow misty. "I have been so patient, not pushing you. But, now that I think about it, I don't even really know anything about you."

I hold my hands up. "No, that's not?—"

"Tell me one thing about your past," he interrupts, his eyes filling with tears.

I shake my head, dread swirling inside me. "I barely know anything, Con…" There is the obvious, but my chest tightens with the memory of Torin, and my soul desperately clings to the story. Connor already looks so broken. It would be so much worse if he knew I'd murdered someone. I can't tell him about the power and darkness inside me.

Connor closes his eyes, defeated.

My hands shake as I lift them to cup his cheeks. "Connor, please. I love you."

Connor pulls back again. "I can taste lies, but I can't taste yours."

I gasp and drop my hands, his words slicing through me painfully. "Connor."

A tear tracks down his cheek. "Tell me one thing. Give me something. Anything."

I move closer and slowly lift my hand to cup his cheek again. This time, he doesn't pull away. He just stares at me with that devastated look, and I scramble for an ounce of truth to givehim. I need to give him something that is wholly honest and all his.

"Here's something." I feel the tears slide down my cheeks. "I love you, Connor. So fucking much. And I am so sorry."

He stares at me, searching my eyes. "But you don't trust me."

"I do. I do trust you." It's not about trust. It never has been. You are such a good man, and I am so broken.

Connor shakes his head. "You don't trust me enough to make my own decisions with this. You don't trust me enough to believe I can support and protect you."

"Con, please," I whimper.

"Six months. Did you even hesitate?"

"You know I did."

Connor winces, another tear falling. "I love you so much, but this is breaking my heart."

"Connor. Please. I'm so sorry."

Connor closes his eyes, and the tears leak down his face. "Fuck."

"Tell me how to fix it. Please."

"Tell me about your past. Everything," Connor whispers brokenly and opens his eyes.

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