Page 220 of Blood & Betrayals

He pauses, formulating the weighty answer, but I already know what he is going to say. “You don’t. No more than you canchange being born fae. It’s who you are. If those around you see it, will they turn away?”

I don’t want to answer that question. Instead, I whisper, “What do I want?” The question isn’t really for him. I just needed it out there, free and raw and real.

“More,” he answers, staring up at the sky again. “The question is if you’ll give him the chance to give it to you.”

I shake my head. “I’ve tried. He doesn’t understand, and I don’t know that I want him to. He’s too… kind.”

“Is that the life you wish? Being half of yourself?” he asks.

I look down at my thighs, digging my fingers into them. “I love Connor.”

“You can love someone, and they can still not be the right person for you.”

I scowl at him. “He is the right person for me. He isn’t the problem. I am the problem.”

His energy bristles, making my skin prickle. “Why do you see yourself as the problem? Because you want something more? That you have the power to get it?”

“I don’t want more. I don’twantto feel like this. I’d do anything to be happy and content,” I say, shaking my head.

“But you’re not,” he growls, and I can feel his frustration building.

I shake my head again. “No, I am. I just?—”

“You need more. It’ll never be enough.” His voice is almost a snarl.

My stomach twists, and I curl my hands in my sleeves. “I should have known I couldn’t discuss this with you,” I say, standing up.

He stands, his avatar humming with agitation. “How long do you think this lie of yours can last? A year? Ten? How long will you pretend this is the life you crave? How long will you deny the part of you that screams in the dark, that wonders and craves?”

I shake my head, backing up. “You don’t know me. I was wrong. You know nothing about me. I love Connor. I want Connor.”

“Then why are you here talking to me?” he mocks cruelly.

I feel a tear sliding down my cheek as I watch him. “Because I thought you understood. But I was wrong.”

“I do understand. That’s why I know this lie will only carry you so far.”

I shake my head. “You’re wrong.” I turn my back on him and go back inside, firmly but quietly closing the door behind me. The wood rattles violently as he vanishes, his angry power buckling the air on the porch.

Tears trail down my cheeks as I kick off my boots and haul myself back up to Connor’s room. He’s barely moved since I left him, but he has pulled my pillow closer and buried his face into it. I sob silently and climb into bed with him, staring at his perfect, wonderful face. I brush a lock of hair off his forehead.

I will be good enough for you, Connor. You are enough for me. You are perfect, and I love you.

I sob quietly, and Connor pulls me into him almost instinctively. I close my eyes, crying myself into unconsciousness.

88

Summer

“Promise me you won’t fall for a hot vampire,” Connor says, sadness clouding his eyes.

“I promise. Promise me you won’t fall for a hot angel.” My hands fist in his shirt possessively.

Connor scoffs. “Please, no one compares to you.”

“I’ll see you in two weeks.” I push up on my tiptoes and press my lips to his, kissing him deeply.

Connor breaks the kiss and presses his forehead to mine, tightening his arms around me. “I love you.”

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