Page 200 of Blood & Betrayals

We walk side by side, not touching. We walk in companionable silence for a while, but I can feel his gaze on me. I know the questions are coming.

“You’re spiraling. Why?” he asks.

He has led me into the trees, and I look up at the branches forming a canopy above us. I wrap my arms around myself. “I have this pent up…” I pause, trying to think of the word. “Energy.”

“Exams?” he asks.

I stop and turn toward him. “We’re friends, right?” The stranger stops and turns to face me. “So I can talk to you about whatever, and it won’t be weird. Right?”

“Friends for now. But, yes, go on.”

“Connor and I, we aren’t having sex.”

The stranger coughs in surprise. “Ever?”

“For like ten days now.”

He crosses his arms, and I can hear the disapproval creep into his voice. “That’s not that long.”

I roll my eyes, disappointed with the dismissal from someone who I actually thought would understand. “Whatever. No one gets it.” I shrug and walk away, my bare feet easily finding their way over the cold ground. He quickly catches up to me, grabbing my hand.

“So he’s not… fulfilling your needs?” he asks.

I sigh. “We have an agreement that we won’t have sex until the end of finals.”

“Why? It’s good for stress,” he asks, tilting his head.

“Apparently, it’s a distraction, and,” I poorly imitate Connor’s voice, “it’s like an addiction.”

The stranger laughs, and the sound rolls over me like warm honey. “Is it? Like an addiction?”

“With me?”

“Yes.”

“Absolutely,” I admit.

“It’s been several months for me, and I find myself… short-tempered and irritable.”

“Several months?” I ask, aghast.

He nods. “Yes, I used to… have it a lot.”

I feel myself tense, though I’m not sure why. “Okay,” I say and start to walk again, fighting the urge to run.

The stranger falls into step beside me. “Have you told him you need it?”

“No. I’m being supportive,” I reply. The question lays heavy on my tongue, the taste of it bitter. I can’t help myself, and the words slip from my lips despite all my instincts screaming at me to keep quiet. “Why haven’t you sought it out?”

“I’ve no interest in a replacement for what I want.”

I narrow my eyes. “So you’ve found it? What you want?” I ask, my body growing more and more tense.

“Yes, but I can’t do anything about it yet.”

Don’t ask, don’t ask, don’t ask. “Why?”

He shrugs, turning his attention ahead. “Too many things in the way. I have to be patient, but it is difficult because I am not a patient man.”

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