Page 79 of Queen of Vampire Hearts

How long would it take to not feel this emptiness and pain? Would it never cease?

I left the prison and climbed the many stairs to the room I’d converted into my new royal bed chambers. The tears refused to stop, and I wasn’t sure when they had started. Sometimes it felt like I had cried forever. They dripped from my chin as I glared at the massive empty bed, knowing I would likely never see him again, never touch him, never kiss him. I wished the thought didn’t hurt, but it did.

Memories of him were haunting me. I saw him everywhere. In the newly established library, where wayward spell books arrived, and all witches could make use of any tome. I saw him in a chair in the corner, flipping through a book as he read to me. In my dreams, I saw him waiting on the bed in my new bedroom, hands tucked behind his head as he reclined, hunger burning in his eyes. I swiped at the tears, trying to stop them, and they finally obeyed as I wearily sat in front of my new vanity.

Lucien often said that most immortal species had a royal line because they needed someone to make decisions. That was becoming more apparent the longer I ruled over the witches. I glared at myself in the mirror. I had to stop thinking about him. He betrayed me. He took everything I was and then handed me over.My eyes remained dry as I stared at my reflection.

I was four days into the life sentence that awaited me, four days of ruling alone, and I was trying to keep busy. The first thing I’d done was to demand all information relating to theRegina line be gathered and presented to me. There had been a single scroll. That was it. It was written with annoyingly familiar handwriting.

When the sun sets on the last Witch Queen,

A new moon will arise from the same line,

Stronger and harder than any before her.

She will return the Witches to prosperity and peace.

With her King at her side.

There would be no king for me. Cassie messed up that part. I would be alone as I set the witches to rights. When I’d finally stopped crying at that, I’d issued my second order. To reform the study of witchcraft so no topics or magics would be off-limits no matter the line.

There was resistance, but there would be benefits of a well-rounded magical education. Why should every witch not know about healing spells or battle magic? Grimoires needed to be shared and new spells created, so knowledge couldn’t be lost to time. Still, I felt lost, like a ship without an anchor, set adrift with no course.

I wandered away from the mirror, lying down on the massive bed. Bast, who had somehow appeared in Salem, cuddled next to me, sensing my disquiet. Now that I knew the cat was older than Lucien, a lot of the unexplainable things she did made sense. So many witches had black cat familiars. I never considered that there was one in each of my visions because the castle was trying to tell me it was the same one. Bast was the Regina familiar.

Alone with my silent familiar, I could give voice to my thoughts. “I miss him, Bast. I know I shouldn’t, but I do.”

The cat moved closer to me as if she could ward away the hurt that seemed to fester. I should be rooting out any remaining enemies in my court, not pining after him. Yet, I couldn’t stop. I was completely in love with him, and he betrayed me.What if he had reason to?I snarled at that thought. What possible reason could he have?

Still glaring at the canopy of my bed, I thought of our bed in Întuneric—his bed, not ours. Another lance of pain shot through my heart. We would never again spend our nights making love. I would never again wake with his arms wrapped around me. When my eyes watered, I pounded my fist against the mattress, making Bast start in surprise. I had spent an ocean of tears on that man. I would not shed a drop more! The tears still welled, but this time they didn’t fall. I took deep, stuttering breaths, and thankfully, they slowly dissipated. I fell asleep, emotionally exhausted, knowing that nightmares would likely plague my sleep.

XL

The Realm of Mortals.

The Witch Queen's Chambers,

Salem, Massachusetts.

I DIDN’T BOTHER KNOCKING BEFOREstriding into Phoebe’s new bedroom in Salem, prepared to fight to force her to listen. I wasn’t expecting her to be asleep. Bast meowed at my entrance, jumping off the bed to rub against my legs. At least someone seemed happy to see me.

I scratched the feline’s head, looking around the room. There were spells carved into the walls, fresh ones. There could only be one reason she was carving spells into the walls of her new home. Phoebe didn’t feel safe here and needed protection.

Curiously, she hadn’t banned me. Or maybe she just hadn’t gotten around to adding that spell yet. She wouldn’t get the chance.

It was tempting to tuck her beneath the covers, as I had done so many times, but I resisted. It was bad enough I’d showed up uninvited. I didn’t need to add moving her around in her sleep when she was most vulnerable to my list of sins.

I pulled an armchair close to her side, resting my elbows on my knees. My gaze was locked on her as I went over what I was going to say. I’d agonized over it for the last twenty-four hours, but I could not come up with anything other thanI love you. I’m sorry. Please take me back.

I hoped it was enough, prayed it was, but the insidious voice of my insecurities still whispered.

You loved your mother and Cassandra. They still left, and Phoebe will too.

Phoebe mumbled in her sleep, tears silently falling from behind her lids. She was having a nightmare. Unable to resist her haunting dreams, I sat on the covers next to her. I pulled her into my arms, murmuring to her in Romanian, as I had so many times before. I lay next to her and felt the first sense of calm since she’d left me. She still needed me, and I could be there for her.She relaxed into me, cuddling closer as she always did.

“Shh, I’ve got you. I’m not going anywhere.” Not this time.

Her body stiffened as she began to wake, and I instantly mourned the loss of her pressed against me. “Lucien?” she asked groggily.

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