Page 46 of Queen of Vampire Hearts

She hated me, and with good reason. Reasons I kept adding to every time I open my cursed mouth. I sank into the abandoned chair, burying my head in my hands, trying to release some of the tension in my muscles. Every fiber was drawn tight, my stomach turning with upset, though that may in part be the vile mug of blood.

I’d barely managed to get it down. Yet, I swallowed it, forcing every revolting drop down my throat, rather than reveal how dependent I was on her already. I didn’t want her to stay because she felt forced. I wanted her to stay because she wanted to and because she wantedme.

Did I really think she was going to want to stay with me after everything? After I bound her powers? After forcing responsibility onto her shoulders until they broke from the weight?How could I expect her to so readily assume the crown I still struggled beneath every day, even after ten thousand years?

I tunneled my hands into my hair, gripping the strands, tempted to yank them out at the roots. The memory of her eyes when I didn’t answer was an image I couldn’t banish. The way the light in them flickered and died, the vivid lilac dulled.

Why couldn’t I stop pushing her even further away? I hoped to draw us closer, and for a moment, a single breath, I’d felt it. But then, I’d ruined it. I longed for her, constantly looking for her, needing her, yet she couldn’t wait to leave me.

Phoebe made no secret of her plans, which only made my chest ache more. If she escaped, I would…what? With her powers bound, I could track her down, but if she got free of the cuffs, I would never find her. I squeezed my eyes shut, grimacing. That was the crux of it, wasn’t it? Phoebe would never return if she left.

I heard Erik approach but didn’t bother to lift my head to look at the wolf.

“I’m assuming that it did not go well?” the lycan mused, settling into a chair.

I grunted noncommittally, not looking up. “She thinks I plan to keep her bound forever.”

I almost wished she’d slapped me as I so richly deserved, but she hadn’t, and that was so much worse.

Erik sipped at his now lukewarm coffee before asking, “Well, didn’t you?”

My head snapped up to gape at him. “No!” I flinched slightly at the vehemence in my voice. “No. I wouldn’t want her to feel like she is less than who she is.”

But the state of affairs between us was bleak, and someone needed to make the leap of faith toward trust. Her eyes had flashed with hurt when I didn’t answer, and that failure would be a lifelong regret. Her thoughts had been obvious as her eyes flickered. She believed I’d planned to keep her bound forever, and Ihatedthat part of me was tempted to.

When she asked, images of my mother and Cassandra flashed through my mind. At that moment, I couldn’t differentiate between what was past and what was present. She would leave me behind, just like all the others. I was doomed to chase her forever, to want a woman that didn’t want me.

Insidious thoughts clouded my mind, and I banged my fists against my skull, hoping to clear it. We couldn’t continue on this way. I was only widening the gulf between us instead of bridging it. I squeezed my eyes shut as Erik continued to sip his coffee while I evaluated the best strategy for winning over my mate. Fuck the baby steps. It was time for the leap, and I had to make it.

My eyes shot open, and I stared at the table. I dropped my hands, took a deep breath, and leaned my head back on my chair, looking up at the ceiling. Could I forget a millennium of feelings of abandonment to have Phoebe?Yes.I would do anything to have her.

My head throbbed, and I pinched the bridge of my nose as a migraine formed. I’d bound her, kidnapped her, and forced her to accept me. The next step needed to be mine, and it needed to be big. It needed to be…fuck.

There was only one avenue open. I had to take them off, give her the power to leave me, and pray she stayed instead. I sat in pained silence with Erik sipping his coffee for several minutes, dredging up the resolve I needed to remove Phoebe’s cuffs.

“What if she still leaves?” I whispered.

“If she does, there’s no rule that says you can’t try to change her mind,” Erik said. My head came forward, and I gaped at Erik. He just grinned slightly and shrugged.

When my mother and Cassandra had left, I didn’t beg them to stay, though I secretly longed to. With Phoebe, I couldn’t hesitate. She had already come to mean so much to me. She challenged and surprised me, inflamed me with desire and rage.

“How would I find her, though?” With her power, she could be worlds away in a blink.

Erik shrugged again. “How did you find her before?”

Cassandra. How did I forget about her? There was no realm where Phoebe could hide, which Cassandra could not see. She helped me find her before, which meant she wanted us to be together, but I was never sure what the oracle would do. I would track her across all the realms. I took heart in that and stood up from the table, slapping Erik’s shoulder roughly. “Thank you, my friend. I’m happy you’re here.”

Erik nodded, finishing his cup. He smirked at me, his smile showing his extra-long canines. “Good hunting.”

My lips twitched at the old werewolf farewell and headed for the library, where Phoebe spent most of her time at Întuneric. Empty. Maybe she was in our room instead? Empty. The first tendrils of panic shot down my spine. Where was she?

Her scream pierced the air, and my blood turned to ice when the sound suddenly cut off.

Phoebe!

XXII

The Realm of Mortals.

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