Page 36 of Hex Appeal

"There's a situation," she gasped, clutching a stitch in her side."Private lessons" had to wait.Running footsteps interrupted Ceries and Malachai's moment as Juno raced around the corner, her herbology robes fluttering wildly.

"There's a situation," she gasped, clutching a stitch in her side."East courtyard.Two students practicing hexes and—" She hesitated, looking between them with an expression that mixed alarm with reluctant amusement."One of them tried the Bewildering Fog Hex.To prove they could do it safely."

Malachai's face went rigid."How bad?"

"The students are fine, but..."Juno grimaced."They accidentally hit Thorncraft while ESA agents were escorting him from the grounds.He's very confused.Keeps trying to organize the garden gnomes into some kind of sales force."

"Of course he does," Ceries muttered.She and Malachai exchanged looks of professional concern that barely masked their mutual delight at the thought of Thorncraft getting a taste of his own curriculum.

The scene that greeted them in the courtyard was pure chaos.Thorncraft, his expensive suit disheveled, was enthusiastically trying to persuade a circle of thoroughly unimpressed garden gnomes to participate in what appeared to be a business presentation.One ESA agent was frantically taking notes while the other tried unsuccessfully to lead Thorncraft away.

The garden gnomes were having none of it.One particularly grumpy specimen had crossed his arms and was tapping his tiny stone foot impatiently.Another was pretending to fall asleep standing up, complete with exaggerated snoring.A third was making rude hand gestures that shouldn't have been possible with stone fingers.

"No, no," Thorncraft was saying earnestly, seemingly oblivious to their reactions."You're not thinking big enough.Limited-edition hex protection equipment should be in every school.Think of the profit margins.Oh wait, I wasn't supposed to mention those.Just like I wasn't supposed to mention how brilliantly I planned this whole curriculum scheme."

The grumpy gnome rolled his eyes so dramatically his entire body moved."We're garden ornaments, not venture capitalists," he muttered.

Tomme Wensleydal, the older of the two students responsible, stepped forward immediately upon seeing them."It was my fault," he admitted."I was showing Chaumes how the hex worked.I thought I could do it safely."

"After we specifically said it was too advanced," Malachai finished, but his voice was gentle."Why?"

"I know.I'm sorry."Tomme looked down."But after everything that happened with you two and the board meeting, I wanted to prove the hex could be taught safely if students were properly trained.That Professor Frostwind was right."

Ceries felt a rush of affection for the student, even as she maintained her professional demeanor."That was brave but reckless."

"Like someone else I know," Malachai murmured, just loud enough for her to hear.

One of the ESA agents approached them."Principal Starcatcher, Professor Frostwind.Perhaps you could assist?This is rather informative for our investigation, but we do need to get Mr.Thorncraft to our offices."

"Ah, the lovebirds!"Thorncraft exclaimed upon seeing them, his expression delighted."My best work, you know.Paired them up perfectly, even if it did go a bit sideways.Say, did you know that garden gnomes understand business strategy better than most administrators?"

The gnome in question was making a gesture that definitely wasn't about business strategy.In fact, he was demonstrating exactly what Thorncraft could do with his proposal, using anatomically unlikely suggestions.

"Mr.Thorncraft," Malachai said formally, "I believe these agents need your expertise on some financial matters."

"Financial matters?Oh yes, I'm brilliant at those.Did I ever tell you about my seventeen offshore accounts?No?Well, the first rule of hidden profits is—"

"Perhaps we could discuss this privately," the ESA agent cut in smoothly, looking like she'd just been handed a career-making case.

"Yes, yes.Very hush-hush."Thorncraft nodded conspiratorially."But first—" He turned to Ceries and Malachai."You two need to stay at Grimm Mawr.Absolutely essential.Best educational team I've ever accidentally created."

Malachai raised an eyebrow."You fired us twenty minutes ago."

"Did I?That was silly of me."Thorncraft waved dismissively."You're rehired!With conditions, of course.She—" he pointed at Ceries, "—reports to Headmistress Raven, not you.Can't have married couples in direct supervisory roles.Very improper."

"We're not married," Ceries said.

"Oh?"Thorncraft looked genuinely puzzled."When's the wedding?"

"We're not—" Ceries started.

"Sir," Malachai interrupted, something shifting in his expression."Could you clarify the school's policy about married faculty?"

"Malachai," Ceries hissed, but he caught her hand, squeezing it once.

Thorncraft's confused gaze drifted to where the garden gnomes were making increasingly rude gestures at him."Married faculty?Oh, yes.They convinced me—" he nodded at the gnomes, who immediately froze in exaggeratedly innocent poses, "—that married faculty can absolutely work together.The board fully supports it.As long as there's no direct supervision."

The moment Thorncraft looked away, the gnomes resumed their pantomime, now acting out what appeared to be a garden gnome wedding ceremony, complete with a tiny stone gnome playing an invisible harp.

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