SAWYER
“Itold you I’d get us here in time,” I tell her, trying not to freak out as hospital staff bustle around us. They’re strapping Riley up to monitors, asking her all kinds of questions, and spreading her legs open to examine her.
I’ll be honest, I didn’t think we were gonna make it. The contractions are really close together now, her screams are getting louder, and seeing her in so much pain is tearing out my soul.
“Just keep breathin’, baby,” I tell her, as she claws at my shirt and bites down on my hand.
“You're almost fully dilated.” The doctor looks up and smiles positively, and when the nurse steps up beside Riley holding a mouthpiece, she quickly snatches it from her hand and sucks it real hard.
“I’ll take it that's a yes to the gas and air.” The nurse smiles at me as I try and console Riley by stroking her thigh.
“That better?” I ask when she pulls the mouthpiece from her mouth and rests back in relief.
“These contractions just keep on hitting.” She looks tired.
“It means the baby’s close to coming, you just have to hang in there.” I try to find the right words to reassure her. “She’s gonna be out real soon.”
“Sawyer, I need to talk to you before she gets here.” She suddenly looks all panicked. I rest my arm on the bed above her head so I can clear the hair from her cheek and stroke it..
“What do you wanna talk about, darlin’?” I keep my voice calm, hoping it’ll soothe her.
She quickly presses the gas and air to her mouth and sucks like her life depends on it. Her body goes rigid, and her cries are muffled by the mouthpiece.
“Can everyone get out?” she asks when her contraction subsides, and the staff around us look at each other in confusion. “I just need a few minutes alone.”
“Riley, I don’t think?—”
“Get them fucking outta here, Sawyer!!” she bellows at me, taking another hit at the gas and air while I look at the staff awkwardly and, one by one, they leave.
“Sawyer.” She wriggles herself up the bed a little. “I…I made my decision.” Her fingers grip in between mine so tight, I feel my bones crush.
“That doesn’t matter now, just focus on this,” I tell her.
“No. I need to get this out before she comes.Ahhhh—” She screws up her face, and I look toward the door for help.
“I think…No…I’m certain that I love you,” she tells me, while I keep breathing the way she should be, to remind her to focus.
“You sure that ain’t that gas and air talkin’?” I laugh.
“I’m sure, Sawyer.” She looks at me so seriously, I swear I feel both our hearts beating. “I’ve tried denying it, because I was scared…I’m still scared.” She shakes her head. “But today and everything that’s happened–”
“You don’t have to make any promises, baby, not now,” I tell her.
“No. I wanna get this out. I want her to come into the world to something good, and we’re good, aren’t we?” Riley’s eyes fill with tears as she accepts what she’s been denying herself.
“We’re fuckin’ awesome,” I answer her, brushing more of her hair back and cradling her cheek.
“I’m so scared of fucking this up, and getting it wrong for her,” she cries.
“Riley, listen to me, you won’t let that happen.Iwon’t let that happen.”
“But we’re so different…” My girl looks confused by her feelings.
“Oh god, I think she’s coming,” she growls, clutching the side of her stomach and sucks hard on the mouthpiece.
“I need to get the nurses back.” I go to walk toward the door.
“Wait.” She grips my shirt and stops me. “This is it, right. You and me. No take backs.” She manages a smile.