Page 9 of A Deceitful Pact

“No one thinks their own kid’s ugly.” I shake my head, refusing to admit that he has a point.

“No, they don’t, but you only have to see Jean’s face every time she looks down into Cheryl Rushford’s baby stroller to know how it would feel when the world sees what you don’t.”

“Sawyer, I don’t even know why we’re having this conversation; this has nothing to do with you.” I stand up and take a long, calming breath.

“Someone’s gotta have the conversation with you, this is crazy. You don’t know these guys, and I’m pretty sure a serial killer ain’t gonna put that down as a weekend hobby. Not only could you end up with an ugly child, you could end up with a psychotic one.” His voice is getting louder, and I’m trying to understand why this is making him so angry.

“I’ve made my decision, I want to be a mother. I don’t have, or want, a partner. So I’m doing this alone.” I can’t believe I’m even trying to explain this to a guy like him, he’s probably got brain damage from the amount of thighs his head’s been crushed between.

“I never said there was anything wrong with you wanting to be a mother, Riley, and you're right, women raise kids on their own all the time. But this ain’t the way to go about it. Didn’t ya ever think about meeting someone, falling in love, and doing this the traditional way?” He softens his tone sympathetically, and I hate the pity I see in his eyes.

“Yeah, and it didn’t work out, so this is the new plan.” This time, I succeed in snatching the papers from his hand, and while I shove them all into the top drawer of the cabinet, he scratches the back of his head thoughtfully.

“What if…” He pauses and takes a breath. “What if I…ya know?” His head gestures toward the lower section of my body before he slides his hand over his mouth nervously. I remember all the confidence there was in the guy I met in the bar all those years ago, and wonder what he’d say if he saw himself now.

“You?” Now it’s my turn to laugh. “You havegotto be kidding.”

“What if I’m not?” He shrugs before chewing on his thumbnail and letting his leg tap nervously.

“Sawyer, I don’t want a father for my child, I just want–”

“I know, I get it, and trust me, I’m not cut out to be anyone's father. I’d just be giving you the ingredients to make the bun, and once you're cooking it my job’s done, right?”

“Do you know how crazy you sound right now?” I sit back down when I start to consider that he’s being serious. “Sawyer, you can’t get me pregnant.”

“I’ll bet I fuckin’ could.” He rolls his tongue around his cheek and fucks my body with his eyes. I have to ignore the flutters I’m getting from the idea of having him inside me again

“No.” I quickly shake my head before my thoughts outweigh my senses, and I let him convince me.

“Come on, you can’t tell me that our kid wouldn’t be beautiful.” He stands up and drags me over to the mirror by the door. “Look at us, we’d be doing the world a fuckin’ service.” He stands behind me and wraps his arms around my middle.

“Sawyer, you're talking crazy, and you're missing the point. It would never beourkid, it would bemykid. I told you, I want to do this by myself.” I struggle out of his arms when it starts to become too comfortable inside them.

“I get it, Riley. I get it loud and clear.Yourbaby, I'd just be the doner guy. Wouldn’t you prefer to know the person who you made your kid with?” He tilts his head and stares at me thoughtfully.

“Get out of here.” I open the door for him and roll my eyes.

“I’m just givin’ ya something to think about, Sheriff.” He lifts the collar of his jacket up and pauses as he steps up beside me. His lips linger real close to mine, making it hard to resist temptation.

“Goodnight, Sawyer.” I turn my head sideways, and when his lips softly press against my cheek, I feel my stone-cold heart thaw just a little as he leaves.

SAWYER

Did I just…I did!

I just offered to give the woman who ran out on me three years ago a fuckin’ kid. I don’t know what came over me, or what part of my brain took over, but as I drive back toward the bar, I don’t seem to be regretting it.

I saw how happy Jace looked earlier when he told me he was gonna be a daddy, and why wouldn’t he be? He just put a baby inside the woman he loves. I understand. I just never imagined that I’d want it for myself.

I don’t love Riley Hale. I’m not even sure if Ilikethe woman, but she makes me feel a certain kinda way, and these past five weeks I’ve come to learn I’m addicted to it.

There has to be a reason she’s been on my mind every day, and not just since she came to town, she’s been there ever since the night we met. For years, I put it down to pride, she’s the only girl who’s ever run out on me. But I’m certain now that it’s more than that.

I’ve compared every woman I’ve encountered since to her. Riley Hale is like a bad fuckin’ habit, and the less of her I get, the more I want.

Now that she’s here, living in my town, I can’t pretend she never existed anymore. I can’t make up stories in my head about what she’s doing with her life that would be so much better without me in it, and I still don’t know why she was so sad that night.

THREE YEARS AGO

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