“Why do you always have to ruin things?” She shakes her head and gets back on her feet. “Sawyer, I need to raise this baby by myself. I can’t handle any conflict. I get everything you're saying and, yeah, I really like you. If there was anyone in the world I could do this with, it would be you, but I just can’t.” She looks dragged down and broken.
“Why, Riley? Look at us, we’re halfway there. You’re pregnant with my baby. I just don’t understand.”
“I don’t expect you to understand. I’m complicated and fucked up. But you said you could handle it, you said we could do this my way.”
“And is this really the way you want it?” I question her. “Because I don’t think it is. I think you're scared, I think you're focusing on all the things that could go wrong, rather than focusing on everything that's right. Riley, I don’t care how fucked up your secrets are, tell me them. Make me understand,” I beg her, because I can’t fuckin’ lose her now.
“Nothing about this is right. We had a deal, and Ineedthis control, you can’t keep pushing me, Sawyer. I can be a mother to this child, but I can never be yours.” I don’t hide from her how much that hurts me, and she looks away from me and starts walking to the door.
“I’m tired, I need to get some sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow.” She opens it for me.
“Will ya still let me take you to the appointment in the city next week?” I check as I move toward her.
“Sure.” She doesn’t sound very reassuring.
“Okay, I’ll catch you tomorrow.” I lean down to place a kiss on her cheek, and when I gently stroke my hand over her tummy, she places hers over mine.
“I’d give anything for it to be different,” she whispers sadly.
“All you have to give me, Riley, is the truth.” I drag myself away before I allow her to hurt me anymore then, as I drive back to the bar, I have to ask myself how many times a man can let a woman hurt him.
I guess the answer is forever, if she’s the one.
RILEY
FOUR WEEKS LATER
Iclimb out the shower, reach for a towel, and wrap it around me when I hear someone knocking on the door. After checking through the peephole and seeing that it’s Sawyer, I open it.
“Is this important?” I keep myself hidden behind the door. I’ve kept my distance since he announced to the whole town that I was pregnant. Naturally, everyone’s wondering who the father is, and since he’s the one who let the cat out of the bag, he’s the main suspect. I’ve been telling myself it’s for the best, but seeing him standing in front of me now, makes me wanna drag him inside and give in to all my compulsions.
“Eamon mentioned that the blind you’d ordered from the store’s arrived, I thought I’d come over and fix it up for you.” He holds the long, rectangular box up beside him. He’s come prepared, wearing a tool belt and a T-shirt so tight that his muscles look even bigger than before.
“That’s kind, I was gonna ask Hank to do it.” I open the door wider, and when he sees that I'm still wet and only wearing a towel, he rolls his tongue around his cheek as he looks me over.
“Don’t get any ideas, I’m way past the horny phase,” I lie, tucking the towel tighter around my chest and leading him into my bedroom.
“So, you were gonna ask Hank to do it, huh?” He picks up the box of the new drill I bought from my chest of drawers, and looks back at me, judgingly.
“It’s handy for me to have these kinds of things. I can’t pay Hank to come over every time I need a picture hung.” I snatch the box off him and place it back.
“You don’t have to pay Hank at all, ain’t nothing he can do that I can’t.” He places the new blind against the wall and pulls the pencil from behind his ear. “You can just get back to whatever you were doin’,” he offers, looking me up and down again and smirking. After assessing the situation he takes out a screw driver and starts taking the curtain pole down.
“Have you been working out?” The words spill out as I watch the muscles in his huge, tattooed arms tense as he screws.
“Ain’t been nothin’ else for me to do.” The glance he gives me over his shoulder, combined with his wicked grin, has my stomach flipping.
If I wasn’t so stubborn, I’d grab hold of him and drag him into the shower with me. But I have to stay strong. Things are best as they are, and it gives Sawyer a much better understanding.
My phone ringing interrupts the awkward silence, and when I start searching around for it, Sawyer grabs it from my bedside table and hands it to me.
“Hey,” I answer, trying not to sound flustered.
“Sorry to bother you on your day off, boss, but I think you’d better come to the station. I got a situation here that I think would be much better handled by a female.” Hayden sounds on edge.
“Sure, I’m on my way,” I tell him before hanging up. I guess I should be grateful for the distraction. Being here while Sawyer was working would have been a challenge. I haven’t had an orgasm since we last had sex, and I’m in desperate need of one.
“I have to head to the station,” I inform him as he finishes dismantling the curtain pole.