“Thank you.” Jace looks up at me, and there's no hate in his eyes anymore; if anything, I see a little admiration. I smile at him as I brush the hair off my forehead and try not to imagine how me and Sawyer might look holding our new baby together.
“My pleasure. Besides, it looked like you had it covered.” I barely did anything other than guide a little boy who decided he was in a hurry to come into the world. A little boy who I now feel the urge to protect. These precious moments have shown me a different side to Jace Sullivain, he’s just a man who loves and wants to protect his family. The evidence on Billy McGee’s phone tells me that all that is at jeopardy, and I feel as if it’s my duty to warn him. Now isn’t the time, and I can already predict how Jace will react. I need to find a way to manage that and make him see things my way.
“He really is perfect, isn’t he?” Maddison smiles at her husband as her baby wraps his tiny hand around her finger.
“Did you expect anything less?” I hear Jace tell her as I quietly make my way out the barn and leave them to get to know their son. Once I’m outside, I get greeted by applause and cheers, and no one seems to care about the body fluids I’m covered in as they hug me and pat me on the back.
“How did you know I’d delivered a baby before?” I ask Eleanor as she takes her turn to congratulate me on a job well done.
“It’s amazing what you can find on the internet.” She winks at me before kissing my cheek, and as I slowly move through everyone, absorbing their energy and feeling like part of this crazy town I call home now, I stand still when I realize that the person I really want to see isn’t here.
* * *
“Go away.” I hear his voice come from inside as I knock on the bar door.
“I need to talk to you,” I call out, most of the town folk are at the Sullivan ranch, so it’s not as if anyone’s gonna hear me. I’m about to knock again when the door swings open and my fist almost slams into Sawyer’s chest.
“What the fuck happened?” His anger turns to concern when he sees the blood on my hands and dress.
“Would you believe me if I told you I just delivered your best friend's baby?” I ask, hardly believing it myself.
“What?” Sawyer steps back so I can move inside.
“Yep, Maddison went into labor, and that baby came outreallyfast.” I sit down at one of the tables when my adrenaline starts to wear off, and I think about all that just happened.
“Was she okay? Did Jace get the boy he wanted?”
“He got his boy, and all of them are fine,” I assure him, taking the bottle of water he offers me out of his hands. He snatches it back from me and unscrews the lid when he notices my hands are too shaky to do it myself.
“So what are ya doin' here?” He waits for me to take a sip before he asks, and it hurts me to see him looking sad again.
“I don’t know.” I look up at him, wishing I had answers.
“It must have been scary.” He goes to take my hand, but holds back.
“I didn’t have time to be scared, not in the moment,” I explain, and suddenly I realize why I’m here.
“You wanna head upstairs and take a shower?” Sawyer offers, looking a little grossed out by the state I'm in.
“No, I’m gonna head home and do that. I guess why I came here is to tell you that if you want…You can be there.” I force the words out and try not to make them sound needy. I can’t have Sawyer think I’m scared. He’ll go into that protection mode, and right now, the way I feel, I think I’d let him take over.
His forehead creases as if he doesn’t quite understand what I mean.
“At the birth. If you wanna be there, you can be,” I explain, making out as if I don’t mind either way.
“Of course, I wanna be there.” He kneels in front of me, taking my hand and kissing it. “You mean it…? No take backs.”
“No take backs,” I promise, letting the relief of knowing he’ll be with me sink into my chest.
“Good, because I was kinda plannin’ on rockin’ up anyway.” He flashes me that smart-assed grin and makes me laugh. “I’ve been looking into some different methods of pain relief and–”
“Sawyer.” I stop him before he gets carried away. “This doesn’t change anything between us. I just…It feels like you should be there,” I admit, knowing that I must confuse him.
I confuse myself.
“Well, I appreciate that.” He smiles, letting go of my hand and standing back up..
“And I'm sorry for all the kissing. It’s a sorry excuse, but I am blaming the hormones.” I look up at him and smile sheepishly.