Page 34 of The Forbidden Sheik
“How?” he asked, trying to soften his tone. “How is it impossible?”
She swallowed past the lump in her throat, knowing that she was being irrational. But when cornered, she came out fighting and she battled with the only weapon at her disposal.
“Because you’re not in love with me!” she yelled, furious that her words hurt so much. But instead of trying to calm down, she let her emotions flow. She let go of the tight control she’d held over her emotions for the past several days. “You just want sex from me! Every time I try to find a bit of romance, of actual intimacy with you, to find out if we’re compatible, you turn it into sex!” She threw her hands in the air, seething with frustration. “All you want is sex! And I want more! I’m crazy in love you but you just want sex!” She sniffed back angry tears and lowered her head in defeat. “I’m nothing but a toy to you! Something you can take off the shelf whenever you want satisfaction. Meanwhile, I’m over here trying to figure out how to have a conversation with you! I want to know if there’s something real here! We’ve spent the past eight years hating each other and now, you just want to get your rocks off and I’m just a convenient receptacle!”
Even as she spoke, Marianna noticed his features darkening with anger. As soon as she ran out of breath, she realized how much she’d infuriated him.
“You think,” he started off low and angry, “that all I want from you is sex?” he asked, but didn’t give her a chance to reply. “You think Iwantthis…insanity between us? I can guarantee that I don’t want it! I liked the way my life was before I met you! I loved the orderliness of my life! I had a plan! I knew what was going to happen. I could figure out the moves of every person I encountered and anticipate what they might do! I could counter their moves with something that benefits my people!” he snapped, truly angry now. “I could think!” he continued, tapping the side of his head. “I was in control!” he yelled, throwing his hands in the air as well. “Do you want to know what I do now?” He didn’t wait for an answer. “I think about you! I want to know if you’ve eaten breakfast. I wonder if you’re bored! I want to know if you’re doing something interesting and, if you are, I want to share it with you!” He sighed, running a frustrated hand through his hair. When he turned back to her, he stared into her eyes, his own gaze burning hot. “Before you came here, I kept refreshing the page to your damn website, because I wanted to be the first to read whatever you post!”
He lowered his voice now. “Even now, with you in my bed every damn night, I can’t concentrate on meetings. I have no idea what’s going on in my country. And do you know why? Because I can’t stop thinking about you! I can’t stop wondering if you’re okay! I can’t even sleep at night because you look so damn beautiful and I like to watch you sleep!” He inhaled, visibly trying to calm himself. “Do you know what it’s like,” he demanded, his voice a harsh growl, “to pride oneself about control and understanding how every world leader might react under certain circumstances, then to be reduced down to a man who needs to know if a womanis bored?” That last question might have started off softly, but he was once again furious, his voice rising with every word. “And you wantromance? You want to have aconversation?”
He took a slow, deep breath, then he stopped, frozen. For a long moment, he merely stared at her. Marianna could see the wheels turning in his head, but she was too stunned by the words that had exploded from him. So, it startled her when he demanded, “Wait…whatdid you say?”
Marianna glared back at him, still letting his words swirl in her head as she tried to translate what he’d said. “Which part?”
He sighed, rubbing a frustrated hand over his features. He dropped them by his sides, but not for long. He stomped closer, gripping her upper arms, gently, but firmly. “I know you want romance,habibti. But I can’t even think when you’re around. Every part of me needs to touch you. To feel you. To…” he sighed and dropped his hands, turning away from her as he continued shaking his head. “I don’t even know anymore. You confuse the hell out of me. So no, you’re not going to get romance, Mari.” He turned away, almost defeated. “I can’t….!”
Then Amit stopped, his head swinging around.
Mari pulled back and waited, not sure what had just occurred to him. Every word out of his mouth felt…surprisingly good. Apparently, he was just as confused as she was. Could they both be going through the same emotional turmoil?
“You love me?”
Marianna blinked, surprised by his question. Quickly, she reviewed what she’d said and gasped when she remembered. She backed up slightly, startled and wary.
He must have seen her shock, but chose to ignore it. Instead, his features turned triumphant and he chuckled, coming closer. “You said you loved me!”
Marianna searched for a reasonable explanation. “I meant–”
Amit slowly shook his head, realizing where her thoughts were heading. “You can’t take it back now,” he challenged firmly, taking her limp hands gently and draping them over his shoulders. He rested his hands on her hips. “You’ve driven me mad for too long, I’m not letting you take that back.” He chuckled triumphantly. “You love me.”
“But…!”
He lowered his head, brushing his lips against hers sweetly. “I think I love you too,” he replied in a whispered rush.
Marianna pulled away, too startled to speak. There was a long, painful silence as they stared at each other. Neither of them spoke for a long moment.
Then Amit admitted in a quiet voice, “I don’t know how to do romance.” His voice was rough, almost as if he were scraping the words out from the pit of his lungs.
Another long silence. Finally, Marianna asked, “What can we do?”
Amit broke their silent standoff first, pulling her back into his arms and holding her close. He rested his cheek against the top of her head as he murmured, “I don’t know. The only thing that I’m absolutely certain of is that I can’t live without you. Not now that I know you.” He sighed. “The past week has been…a challenge for me. I want to be with you all the time.”
She laughed softly, her arms tightening around his waist. “That’s kind of romantic, Amit.”
He grunted and kissed the top of her head. “I’m distracted all the time,habibti. I can’t think, I can’t concentrate. I can’t do anything when you’re not with me.”
She leaned back, but didn’t release her hold from his waist. “You have no idea how romantic that sounds, do you?”
He blinked, trying to gauge her reaction. “Is that what you needed? Declarations of my obsession?”
She laughed, feeling light-headed for a moment. But his strength surrounding her made her feel safe and oddly comforted. “Yeah,” she whispered. “But if it makes you feel any better, I haven’t gotten much done since I’ve been here either.”
He lowered his head, but he didn’t kiss her. Instead, their lips hovered about a centimeter apart. “What are we going to do?”
She grinned. “I think I should propose to you.”
He grunted and closed the distance between their lips. The kiss started off as something slow and sweet, but quickly burned into an inferno.
