Page 78 of Lose Me In The Shadows

And then, slowly, she reengaged the safety and passed the gun with a still trembling hand to Luke’s steady one.

“Oh god,” she said, collapsing just as Conor stepped forward and grabbed her, pulling her tight into his arms.

“It’s okay, strong girl, it’s okay.” He glanced over at Micah and Luke, jerking his head toward the bodies. “We gotta clear these out before someone comes to investigate.” Even with a silencer, they’d been loud enough to attract attention.

“My badass baby,” Micah murmured. Luke said nothing. As the other two quietly carried the bodies toward the exit doors, Conor guided Kara over to the side, gripping a handle.

“Don’t let go,” Micah said from across the way.

“That’s what the Doctor said to Rose,” she muttered into Conor’s shirt.

“What?” Luke asked, confused.

“She’s in shock.” Conor felt helpless. She’d never have killed someone, before they interjected themselves into her life.

“It’s fromDoctor Who,” Micah said. “I’m glad you put our Netflix account to use, baby.”

“Oh god,” Kara said again, this time with a strained laugh. “I just killed someone, I shouldn’t be making jokes.” Her breathing sped up.

“Ready?” Luke asked Micah. “One, two—"

“—Three,” Micah said and pulled the emergency lever. The doors slid open. Holding tight to the handles, Micah and Luke kicked the six dead men out the door. Conor watched their bodies fall into an abyss, never to be found.

Hopefully.

Micah released the doors, which slid closed.

“Kara,” Conor said. “We all need to go back to our seats. Can you do something to your hair to make it look like you were just fucked? It might explain the noise.”

“Not going to explain the blood,” Luke muttered.

Fuck.He was right.

“I’ll stay and clean up,” Conor said, making a quick decision. Better he go down for this than the others.

But Kara had frozen, a lost look in her eyes as she stared at the blood.

“Kara,” Conor ordered. “Remember when you promised you’d follow our directions? This is one of them.”

She bent over, shaking her hair around, and Conor tried not to be distracted by her delectable ass.My badass baby,indeed. He was so proud of her—but worried what this would do to her psyche. She’d shot Luke. She’d shot the man who’d beaten her up back at the Black Ops site. She’d even been turned on by them torturing and killing someone for hurting her. But there was a big difference between shooting someone and killing them. There was an even bigger difference between vicariously appreciating the violence that kept you safe and murdering someone with your own two hands.

Snap out of it.

He watched as Luke and Micah each took one of Kara’s hands and guided her back to into the main train car. He kept watching, making sure they were safely back in their seats before he turned to his task. They had four targets painted on their backs, and Conor briefly wondered if they should’ve stayed in hiding at Marcus’s compound in Jackson Hole.

He checked his watch. They had about fifteen minutes until the Oakland stop, which, fortunately, was where they were supposed to disembark. He got to work, grabbing paper towels from the bathroom, wetting them with soap and water, and scrubbing the pool of blood as best as he could.

And as he did, he prayed—this time, to his dead father.

Please, dad, if you’re watching—I know you hate who I’ve become, but let me keep this. Let me keep my family. Let me keep the people I love safe. Let me help them be healed, and whole.

Shit.

Fuck.

The people he loved.

For so long he thought he didn’t have a heart—but now he could admit he did. He wasn’t even at fault for thinking he didn’t have one; it existed outside his body in three parts. And if anything happened to those parts—if anything happened to the three people who, knowingly or unknowingly, held his heart in their hands…

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