Page 22 of Lose Me In The Shadows

Breathe,Luke reminded her.All you have to do is breathe.

Be strong, brave girl, Conor ordered.Be the clever girl I know you are.

So Kara did the only thing she could. She endured. Tried to, anyway. The pain broke her, physically and mentally. It reformed her, turning her into someone else. Finally, blessedly, it got so bad she was able to go numb and float away.

Her last thought was the gasp of a dying hope: that they would find her.

That they still even wanted to.

Fucking hell, his shoulder hurt. It had been a week since Kara shot him, and every day was worse.

Luke caught his reflection in the dark office window. He looked tired and pale. Weak. And with his right arm in a sling, like a helpless, broken, baby bird. How was he going to find his attempted murderess, when he couldn’t even use his right arm? How was he ever going to carry out a hit again, if he never fully healed?

She’d shot him.

He’d deserved it.

That’s what he kept coming back to. Luke knew that, outside of life or death, kill or be killed situations, he could be indecisive about things. But he’d never felt so torn as he did now. Part of him hated Kara for what she’d done. When he replayed those last moments in his head, Kara holding the gun she’d stolen from him in her shaking hand, Micah and Conor half-talking her down, half-taunting her. None of them thought she’d shoot, Luke least of all. It’s why his usual reflexes hadn’t kicked in. He’d never let an enemy get the drop on him, but he’d let that curvy little firebrand reach into his pocket and pull out his gun. And then none of them disarmed her. And then…

He could still see it. Her hand steadying, the rage and betrayal in her eyes as she clicked off the safety and fired. Twice. The fire in his shoulder as once, twice, he’d been hit. And then panic and confusion. And then nothing.

She’d betrayed him.

But he’d betrayed her first.

It had been Micah’s idea to test her, of course. Luke had wanted to give Kara her freedom. Leading up to the test and her escape, she’d submitted, willingly. Seemed almost happy. Or, if not happy, then at least like she’d come to terms with her situation. And there had been moments—like when he told her about his life before the military—that he’d seen warmth and compassion in her eyes. She’d opened up to them, too. He thought it had been real, but Micah was concerned she was playing them. And then of course Micah convinced Conor, because even though Conor was boss, Micah was the man behind the curtain.

And although Luke wanted to trust her, there was a question in the back of his head.If we give her her freedom, will she choose to stay?

The answer had been no.

The answer might always be no.

He shouldn’t want her back. A woman who shot you was not a woman who would love you, or a woman you should love. But Luke’s heart was a masochist. She was his, theirs—and his foolish heart was hers. And maybe, just maybe, a man who kidnapped a woman was not a man who should be loved, either. Or knew how. That was the crux of it, wasn’t it? If love came with this much pain, was it love? Or was it addiction, obsession, possession?

He’d told the others he was all in, but could you ever be all in on your own personal kryptonite?

Regardless, there was no way in hell he’d let her get hurt. They were the only ones allowed to hurt her. Anyone else? Well, they touched a hair on her head and they wouldn’t be breathing for long after.

He looked over at Micah and Conor, who were hard at work trying to track Kara down. They sat in their office, Micah’s head buried in his computer set up, digging through records in dark, back channels of the internet, trying to find any mention of a redheaded woman who’d been taken, any sightings, anything. Conor was on a burner phone, his voice a low, intense murmur as he reached out to contact after contact to track her down.

Luke sat at his own desk. He’d been given nothing to do. The two assholes were fussing over him like annoying nurses. His brain still worked. He was just as desperate as they were to get her back, but once again, he was on the outside, looking in. Once again torn between his gratitude that Micah and Conor cared so much, and frustration that he wasn’t included. It was irrational, but he couldn’t help it right now. Plus, he’d been shot. He deserved to be a little irrational.

“Found something,” Micah said, pulling Luke from his dark thoughts.

“What,” Conor barked.

“A call went out from Lola’s cell last night. Booking a room at the Moose Inn in Alpine for the night. Afterward, there was another call. Not from Lola, from an untraceable number to a number with a 646 area code. About four hours later, an unregistered aircraft landed in the private airport in Alpine. Wouldn’t be unusual, except all private planes are registered—and it left half an hour later.”

Luke’s heart briefly stopped before speeding up again.

“Any mention of a woman with them?”

Micah shook his head. “No, but I trust my gut on this one.”

“Do you know where the plane landed?”

Micah shook his head. “There’s nothing. Doesn’t bode well. One more thing. The call from the untraceable number?” Micah had a look in his eyes that Luke had never seen before.

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