Page 46 of Lose Me In The Shadows

She was quiet for a moment, and he thought the conversation might be over—Kara had rarely been one for deep heart-to-hearts—but she continued to surprise him. “As angry as I am, I do feel guilty. I shot your shoulder knowing you’d be okay, but I still worried. If you had died, I’d never have forgiven myself. If I had lost you, I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

He nodded. “Do you hate me?”

“Luke.” She flipped over and around, coming to rest on her elbow so she could look him in the eye. “I don’t hate you. I might have tried to convince myself of that when I shot you, and when I drove away from the cabin, but it didn’t take long to make me realize differently. My feelings for you are…” she searched for a word.

“Complicated?” he offered.

Her smile was small but genuine. “Yeah. Complicated.”

“Yeah, I know how that goes.”

Except he didn’t. His feelings for her—even when she delivered two bullets into his shoulder—were overwhelmingly simple. He loved her.Hadloved her, probably since that moment so long ago when she’d climbed to the top of that wall and laughed with joy.

How does it feel?

Fucking phenomenal.

He spoke without thinking. “Do you remember the day we met?”

She smiled bigger. “You mean when you orchestrated a meet cute but you’d been following me already?”

“I never apologized for that, did I?”

She shook her head.

“Kara…” he couldn’t call her sweetheart again. Not yet. It hurt too much. But he had to say this. “I’m sorry for lying to you about who I was.”

Her gold-brown eyes were wet. She blinked the emotion away, saying, “Thank you. But yes, I remember.”

Oh, sweetheart.

He couldn’t stop it that time, and maybe he didn’t want to.

“I do too. I remember thinking you were the single bravest woman I’d ever met. You were so scared of failing, but with a little encouragement, you overcame the beginnings of a pretty intense panic attack and kept pushing. You even jumped, even though you could’ve fallen—could’ve ‘failed.’” He made sure to put failed in air quotes so she knew he didn’t see it that way, trying not to wince when the movement tugged at his stitches. “I’ve had time to think, in between recovering and doing my own panicking over what was happening to you when you were gone. And here’s what I realized …” he cupped her cheek, marveling over how soft her skin was, despite what she’d been through. How soft she could be, if she let herself risk it. “Kara, sweetheart, you’re still there, stuck on that wall, terrified of failing and too paralyzed to take the leap. Aren’t you? Before it was in making your life what you wanted it to be. And now, it’s choosing to be with us—because what if it goes wrong?”

She blinked, and this time there was no mistaking the tears. “You called me sweetheart.”

He sighed, and this time it was a small smile on his face. “I might want to call you a viper in my head, to distance myself from you and what you did, but you are and always will be my sweetheart.”

“I’m terrified,” she admitted. “I don’t know if it’s Chris that did it, or if he knocked the cover loose on the box that was holding all my fear, and it’s all come pouring out. I’m so afraid—of being taken again, of being hurt by him again—of being hurt by the three of you again. I’m so angry at you three, and at myself, and underneath that, so so scared, I can barely breathe. And what’s more, this is the point where I usually run, and…”

He kept his voice gentle so as not to scare her more. “And?”

Had her eyes ever been so gold? “And the most fucking terrifying thing in the world that I have ever faced is the painful truth that I don’t want to run from the three of you. Not anymore.” She laughed, a little choked up. “How’s that for honesty?”

His heart thudded to a stop. “What does that mean?”

She shook her head. “I don’t know. If I’m back on that climbing wall, I’m still paralyzed, and I certainly am not ready to make that last jump.”

He’d wait for her forever. He knew it. But he couldn’t tell her that, so instead he rolled to his side, ignoring the stab in his shoulder, and kissed her, soft little kisses that turned into bigger, breath-stealing ones, until he couldn’t remember a time when they weren’t sharing air.

A throat cleared.

He looked up sharply, his hands moving to cover Kara’s bare ass. If it was that fucker Marcus, he’d kill him for seeing his woman naked and watching her come.

Instead, it was Micah and Conor, both with their arms crossed. It was obvious the two of them were hard. Luke didn’t know how long they’d been there, but he was surprised they hadn’t joined in.

“I thought you were Marcus,” he said.

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