Page 35 of Lose Me In The Shadows

“I don’t want that for you, brave girl. Two years ago, I tried to talk to you about the pain you were running away from. And then you ran fromme. A few months later, you did the same thing to Luke. But a few weeks ago, we asked you to be vulnerable, and you were.” He twisted his lips in a sad half-smile. “It may have been to manipulate us and make us think you were happy with the idea of staying, but you opened up, nonetheless. And didn’t that feel good, to trust us? I know we haven’t earned it, but we’re asking you to do it again, one more time. Don’t bury what happened in a box. I promise you, it doesn’t matter how tight you lock that bitch, the pain will get out.”

Kara shut her eyes, horrified at the tears leaking out. She hated crying, hated how vulnerable it made her. But when she closed her eyes, she could see Chris and the Tweedles, feel their fists pounding her body. It made her shrink into herself, forced her to open her eyes.

“I can’t,” she said. “It’s too big. I start talking and—”

“You’re safe, sweetheart.” Luke had come back. “We can take it.”

“But I can’t!” she cried. “This is the only way I know. This and running. And I can’t run anymore, so what do I have?”

Luke walked toward her. Micah leaned forward. Conor pulled her deeper into his lap. She tried to jerk away.

“No. I let this out, and it consumes me. I won’t recover. I can’t do it. Don’t make me do this,please.” Begging, pleading with them, she said, “Veto. Please.Veto.”

There was silence. They were doing that silent conversation thing they did, and then Micah said, “Boss.”

“Yeah.” Conor sighed, releasing Kara’s chin and waist. She climbed off his lap, not sure where to go. How did you escape when you were on a small private plane, headed god knew where?

“Where are we going?” she asked, changing the subject.

“Jackson Hole,” Micah said. “We’re staying at our friend Marcus’s. It’ll be a good place to lay low for it a bit while we recover and figure out what comes next.”

“If we’re going to be so close to the cabin,” Kara asked, “why can’t we just go back?”

Fuck, she did miss that cabin. She missed her gilded cage, and she hated that she did. She might have felt trapped there, but she’d also been safe.

Her eyes were wet again. Goddamn it, she was too raw for all of this. And they could see it. See right through her.

Luke spoke. “The cabin’s compromised. We can’t trust that the professor’s people haven’t located it, so it’s no longer a safe haven.”

He didn’t say,and it’s your fault, Kara.He didn’t have to. The silence said everything.

Micah finally broke it.

“C’mon, baby, we need to go in the bathroom.”

Kara froze. “That is very muchnotmy kink,” she said delicately.

The men were quiet for a moment, confused and jarred by her change in tone. Then they burst into relieved laughter.

“Ours either, don’t worry, funny girl,” Conor said. “We need to help you dye your hair. When we land back in the US, you’re going to have to assume a different identity. The professor, his brothers, and their men have sent your picture to all the alphabet agencies. You’re as ‘wanted’ as we are, and to keep you safe, we need to hide you in plain sight.”

Kara digested this. Even if they agreed to let her go free, she couldn’t now. She was trapped with them just as surely as if they had done it themselves. She couldn’t go home, couldn’t go anywhere on her own. She was reliant on them for her safety—and hopefully, for her future freedom.

The thought of freedom—and the loneliness that would accompany it—left her feeling a little hollow.

She quashed it.

“I need to shower,” she muttered, holding up her hand when Conor and Micah started to stand. “Alone.”

10

The bathroom was swanky as hell, all Carrara marble and glistening gold hardware. She climbed into the shower, relaxing under the hot water for the first time as she soaped up her body and let the water and suds wash away the hell she’d experienced.

The guys had wanted her to talk, and maybe she would at some point, but she wasn’t ready to relive it. How could she be when she saw the Tweedles every time she closed her eyes? When all she wanted to do was hide behind the men and beg them to keep her safe, no matter the cost? That wasn’t her. Kara was independent to a fault (a big one), and admitting how scared she was, how badly she craved their protection … she couldn’t do it.

What are you trying to prove?her inner voice asked.

Before she could answer it, there was a knock.

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