Page 34 of Lose Me In The Shadows

“Bite.”

She bit, tasting salt, pepper, and a little bit of cayenne.

“Chew.”

She chewed, before swallowing it down and chewing more, working her way through the entire egg until Micah was satisfied. He handed her a strawberry next, and the taste erupted in her mouth, reminding her and her pussy of sexier times. Conor rested a hand on her bare thigh, not stroking or circling, just holding her. Even so, she went tight and hot all over, gasping as she chewed.

“Conor,” Micah chastised. “She’ll choke.”

“Oops, sorry,” Conor said, moving his hand…and placing it directly on top of her pussy this time, with only Micah’s shirt between them.

Kara heard herself make a pathetic little kittenish whimper.

Conor kissed her neck again.

Micah fed her more strawberry.

They continued like that, teasing her and feeding her, until she was stuffed—but not the way she wanted to be. And what was wrong with her, that she wanted sex after everything she’d been through? Was it the reassurance that, after everything that had happened, they still wanted her, and she still had them? That Chris hadn’t broken her? Was she conditioned to want sex from them, no matter the circumstances?

Or is sex the easiest way to avoid thinking about what’s scaring you?her inner voice asked.

As if they’d heard it, too, Conor wrapped his arms around her waist—to keep her from retreating.

Micah leaned over, taking her hand in his.

“What are you doing?” Her voice shook. The gesture, the way Conor brushed his lips against her hair, unnerved her.

But it was the gentleness in Micah’s voice that undid her.

“Baby, we need to know what happened there. We need to know what he—they—did to you.”

Kara swallowed. This was the absolute last thing she wanted to talk about. She searched for her anger. She needed it to protect her from the scary emotions that lay in front of her, a black hole she refused to fall into.

“They didn’t rape me, if that’s what you’re asking,” she snapped. “Now, can I go?”

Conor rubbed her stomach, not sexual, just meant to comfort. She’d expected—hoped—that the two of them would feel defensive and snap back. But the patience they responded with, as they waited quietly for her to say more…it made her long for a parachute so she could jump off this damn plane and get away from them, from this.

“Baby,” Micah said. That’s all, but the sympathy in his voice was too much.

“Either fuck me, or let me go,” she snapped again, fighting Conor’s hold. He held her loosely, but he didn’t let her go.

“Hurt girl,” Conor murmured. “We’re relieved, but we know they hurt you. Let us carry some of that pain for you. We owe you that much. Tell us what happened.”

“Do I need to use my veto?” she cried.

Micah shook his head. “You know how safe words work. You should only use it if you really mean it.”

“You overbearing assholes,” she said, her heart speeding up. “You want to give me a panic attack?”

Conor kissed her head again. “Scared girl, we’re here. Do what you need to do. Rage at us, scream, cry, we’ll hold you through it. We’re not going anywhere.”

“I need to pretend it didn’t happen,” she said.

“For now,” Conor said. “You might think compartmentalizing it is the best way to heal, but all it does is shove your pain in a box so it can fester and rot. And then one day you’ll look in the mirror and realize that it turned you into a stranger.”

“Boss…” Micah started, probably shocked by how open the usually closed-off man was being.

Conor ignored him, gently turning Kara’s chin so she could see his face.

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