Page 3 of Lose Me In The Shadows

“Well, something’s going on.”

“Fuck off.”

“Whoa,” Luke said, and if he weren’t twenty feet off the ground without anything keeping him from falling but his hands, he would have lifted them in anI come in peacegesture. As it was, he gentled his voice even further.

“I’m sorry, that was intrusive. But something’s obviously going on, and your instructor is two seconds away from abandoning you here.”

And that was the wrong thing to say. Luke regretted the words the instant they left his mouth, watching her tense even further, knuckles going white.

“Kidding,” he said. “I promise you’re safe.” He waited, modeling patience and calm even though his heart was racing. And for more than one reason. She smelled like sweat and some sort of flower—clean and dirty at the same time. It made him think of other things that would make her sweaty.

He killed that thought immediately.

Even though her lips tipped up in a small smile, it didn’t reach her eyes. Her face was pale, her breathing shallow. Finally, she said, “Failure.”

“What?” He tried to track the situation. Was she calling one of them a failure? Did she think she was having heart failure?

“You asked if I was scared of heights. I’m not. I’m scared of failing. If I think I’m going to, I get…anxious, and it’s like that panic is a wave and I get sucked into its undertow and thrashed around.”

Luke’s heart, which was already going double time, doubled again. Something about her willingness to reveal something so personal and vulnerable, when, from what he knew of her, she was anything but, got to him. Or maybe it was the white-knuckled grip she had on the wall, the way she trembled.

Not yours, he reminded himself.She’s not yours.He was just here to watch out for her. For Micah, who had failed at staying away from Kara, and for Conor, who didn’t know Luke was there but deserved Luke’s loyalty regardless.

But didn’t watching out for her include encouraging her to succeed, so she didn’t feel like a failure? He needed to help her before she fainted from lack of oxygen.

“Can you do me a favor? Just humor me and breathe with me. You don’t have to do anything or worry about anything—I’ll keep you safe. All you need to do is inhale and exhale.”

“That’s all?” she gasped.

“That’s all.”

She inhaled, then exhaled, inhaled, and exhaled, Luke guiding her patiently until color returned to her face and her breathing slowed and deepened.

“You okay now?” he asked her.

She looked over and down at him, nodding, and Luke was so taken aback by how big and gold-hued her eyes were, it took years of muscle memory of hanging off the side of things and fighting gravity to keep him where he was.

“I appreciate it,” she said softly, her chest rising and falling again more naturally. Even though the words weren’t much, he felt the same way he had when he’d won his first marathon—like he could conquer the world.

Luke waited until he could speak again, then said, “Ready when you are.”

Without looking down, Kara started finding toeholds again, legs flexing as she pushed her way up the wall, Luke staying a pace behind her so he could keep an eye on her climbing. It was slow going, and she had to stop a few times and shout down to the still-annoyed instructor to hold the slack so she could rest. But she seemed much more buoyant, even humming to herself as she climbed.

“Is that ‘Thank you, next?’” Luke asked.

She laughed. “It’s been stuck in my head.”

She’d come to a tough spot—the wall jutted out and the toe and hand holds were spaced further apart than they’d been earlier.

“How do I…” she asked, and Luke paused.

“Are you asking, or thinking out loud?”

“Asking.”

“You have to jump.”

“Jump?!” She shook her head. “I’m not a frog, I can’t leap up there.”

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