Page 14 of Sugar, Spice, and Magical Midlife

“Why?” It wasn’t like I didn’t want to get my kid out of their clutches as soon as possible, but why did Colin want to get rid of his son?

“We have a ruggel game to go to. My parents have box seats.”

“Des loves ruggel.” In our realm, ruggel was as important to witches as football/soccer was to humans, or ‘husks’ as those without magic were known in the magical world. Ruggel had many of the same rules as soccer, only the course was more deadly, as in balls randomly exploded, ankle-breaking gopher-gnomes were always wrecking the turf, and even though wands weren’t permitted, they somehow found their way onto the field. It was a wicked good time, so long as you weren’t a player. If tickets weren’t so expensive, I’d take Des every weekend, but only wealthy douche nuggets like Colin’s family could afford to go.

“Yeah.” Colin’s face colored as he shrugged. “But you know how he gets in public.”

I was so angry, I was seeing red. How badly I wanted to curse him with a spell of flatulence. I had to release a slow breath while counting to ten in my head, lest I shatter some windows. “Are you saying you’re ashamed of your son?”

“It’s just...” He gave Felicity a pleading look. “Felicity’s parents will be there, too. It’s not often we can get our parents together.”

I was sure it had more to do with the fact that Colin’s parents scorned witches that weren’t also wealthy, and I knew without a doubt Homewrecker Barbie came from the wrong endof the cauldron. “So?” I nodded toward the stairs where Des had disappeared. “You haven’t seen your son in two weeks, and have I mentioned he loves ruggel?”

“Come on, Luce.”

I resisted the urge to shield my ears when Colin’s whine kicked into high gear, sounding like a dying black cat during a full moon.

I shook my head, inwardly cursing. “Guess I don’t have a choice, do I?”

“That’a sport!”

I jerked away when Colin patted my back like he was trying to burp a baby.

Felicity made a squeak, and I inwardly cringed, knowing she was trying to get my attention. I could practically feel her eager gaze boring holes through my head. The backstabbing bitch was always pretending she wanted to be my friend, all the while ignoring the fact that she’d been screwing Colin while he and I were still married—a little secret I hadn’t discovered until after I’d asked for a divorce on the night of our anniversary. He’d been too tired to perform in the bedroom that night because he’d spent most of the day bending Felicity over his desk.

“Hey, Luce,” Felicity squealed like a prepubescent mouse as she unwrapped a hard candy and plopped it in her mouth. She was always sucking on small, hard things. No wonder Colin married her. Her penchant for sugar was the only reason I didn’t suspect she was a succubus, though she certainly had the blackened heart of a demon. “I have a small favor to ask of you.”

I glared at my ex’s former mistress. “Luciella.”

“Oh.” She let out a girly giggle and rolled the candy on her tongue while twirling a strand of bleached-blonde hair between her fingers. Gag. “I thought we could be on a nickname basis, since we’re sharing mommy duty.”

Mommy duty? Was this bitch for real? “My son has one mom.” I knew it was petty, but I couldn’t help it. “What do you want?” I didn’t bother hiding the agitation in my voice.

“Oh, okay.” She reached behind her and handed me a rainbow leopard print bag smothered in either unicorn shit or glitter. “I wanted to give you this.”

I glared at the bag, refusing to take it. “What is it?”

Colin snatched the bag from his new wife, tossed the polka-dot tissue to the floor, and pulled out what looked like a framed photo. “A family picture in front of my dad’s boat.”

I backed up when he held it out to me. Sure enough, Colin, Homewrecker Barbie, and my son were standing in front of his father’s 45-foot yacht, trying, and failing, to look regal. Colin’s new-money parents desperately pretended to be old money, and instead came off as thrift-store billionaires. Colin and Des wore cheesy skipper hats, starched collars, and polo shirts while Felicity wore some pixie vomit, hot-pink monstrosity with a neckline that cut diagonally across her chest, leaving only one lonely taffeta sleeve. Whatever makeup or spell that had been used to conceal the Playboy bunny tattoo on her bare shoulder had partially worn off, leaving behind a rabbit with no ears that looked like a worm wearing a bow tie.

I held a corner of the frame away from me as if it was possessed, scowling when glitter dusted my fingers. This woman needed an intervention for her glitter obsession. “Why would I want this?”

Felicity gasped, giving Colin an expectant look, as if he could force his naughty ex-wife to behave.

Colin shoved his hands in his pockets, giving me the pouty lip that melted my heart two decades ago but only annoyed me now. “Felicity thought if you hung it up in your house, it would make Des be more accepting of our family.”

I waved at the photo with a sneer. “Des doesn’t look happy in this photo.” And it wasn’t my job to make Des accept their family. Perhaps if Colin had been a more affectionate and understanding father. But if years of family counseling hadn’t convinced him, he wasn’t about to become Father of the Year now.

“Oh!” Felicity clasped her hands together. “He had a blast on Grandpa’s boat.”

I refrained from rolling my eyes. Why was she still talking? “Look at the way he’s dressed.” I held the frame away from me while shaking my head.

She crossed her arms with a pout. “He looks like a gentleman.”

I gave her an accusatory look. “He hates collars.” No doubt this was her idea. Colin had always fought me when it was time to take family photos. I shoved the picture back into Colin’s hands.

Felicity gave Colin another look, one that said she’d keep her brand new, shiny silicone airbags to herself if he didn’t stand up for her.

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