Page 43 of Sugar, Spice, and Magical Midlife

Iwasn’t shocked to see Antonio waiting up for us when we crept into the kitchen.

“Ahh, there you aresignorinas.” He pushed off from a low chair in front of the hearth and stood, rubbing his round gut. “So glad you safe. My wife, she no home from work yet.”

“Oh, okay,” I said, forcing a smile. “Hopefully, we can meet her tomorrow.” I thought about telling Antonio about the people who followed us, but I feared he’d become more protective if he knew.

“Hopefully,” he repeated, his voice dropping as his gaze drifted to the window above the kitchen sink.

“Well, we’re off to bed,” I said as I tugged Ethyl and Des toward the stairs.

“Buona notte,” he called to us.

“Goodnight,” I called back.

We hurried into our bedroom while ignoring the bleating and bouncing mattress spring sounds coming from one of the hallway doors. Just lovely. The horrific sounds of goat sex to enhance my nightmares. I hoped I fell asleep fast, not just so I could drown out the bleating, but this headache was worsening, and my healing spells weren’t cutting it.

I shut the bedroom door behind me, falling against it with a sigh. “That was close,” I said to Ethyl.

She took Puffy from Des and plopped onto the bed. “Too close.”

Des looked at me while crossing his ankles. “I have to pee.”

“Okay, Des.” I took his hand and, using my wand as a flashlight, walked with him to the bathroom. I let out a groan of frustration when the door was locked, and I could hear water running. How many satyrs were staying here? “Looks like the satyrs are in the bathroom.”

He made a face while bowing forward. “I have to go bad.”

“Alright. Alright. Let’s find another toilet.” I led him downstairs and didn’t see any doors other than the one that Antonio said led to his private living quarters. I didn’t want to bother them there, so I led Des toward a bush outside. It wasn’t ideal, but desperate times. I motioned toward the bush. “Go out here.”

Des gave me a look as if I’d just ordered him to kick a puppy. “Out here?”

“Sorry, buddy,” I answered. “We’re out of options.” I aimed my wand light at the bush, then turned my head. “I won’t look, and nobody else will see.” At least I hoped not. Antonio had a rather high brick wall encircling his property. The only way anyone would see was if they flew over the property. Hopefully, all witches had tucked away their broomsticks for the night.

I whispered a concealment spell, just in case any striga were flying by overhead. I was so proud of my boy the moment he unzipped his pants and peed into a bush. I knew that sounded weird, but you’d understand if you saw how many strides Des had made over the past few years. He hadn’t been fully potty trained until he was almost five due to fear of the flushing sound toilets made. Then for the next five years he’d only go in one particular bathroom. Goddess, the struggles we faced when we first moved into the condo. At one point, I had to drive him over to my ex’s house in the middle of the night, just so he could go number two in a toilet he trusted.

I removed the concealment spell and rubbed his back after he zipped up his pants. “Better?”

He nodded, then held out his hands as if they were covered in tar. “I need to wash.”

“Okay,” I said. “The satyrs should be finished by now. If not, we’ll use the kitchen sink.”

We had just turned to leave when we heard a banging sound coming from the old shed behind the house.

I froze, sharing a look with Des. “Do you hear that?”

Des waved at the shed. “Shoo!”

“What are you shooing?” I asked. “Gnomes?” Goddess, don’t tell me Antonio’s place was infested with gnomes. I wasn’t about to put up with goat turdsandgnome droppings.

He tugged on my arm, pointing toward the shed as the banging grew louder. “No, shoo!”

“Signorina,bambino. What are you doing out here?”

I spun around with a gasp, looking into Antonio’s hooded eyes. The banging stopped, and I had a strange feeling, as if all fresh air had been sucked from the garden, and that headache returned, morphing from a gnome with hammer to a troll with a power drill.

“Sorry.” I clutched my son’s arm. “Des had to pee, and the satyrs are in the bathroom.”

“Oh.” He motioned toward the house. “They out now.”

“Thank you.” I pulled on Des and hurried past Antonio.

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