Page 164 of Bride of the Midnight Prince

I watch him leave, my heart in my throat. I want to tear after him. He knows I care about him, but does he have a clue how deeply?

When Mary enters, I’m exactly where Rahk left me, holding my dress and staring at the door. Her eyes widen at the sight of me. She rushes to my side at once, supporting me as my knees buckle.

“Oh Mary, I’m in too deep,” I cry as I collapse against her.

We end up on the floor, holding each other. She smooths my hair away from my face and kisses my brow. “I know.”

“I need to tell him. I need to tell him. I must tell him!” I’m saying the words over the over again, barely a whisper for fear of being overheard. “I cannot keep going like this. I cannot keep this secret from him!”

“You cannot tell him,” Mary replies, a growling edge to her words. “If you care about him, you cannot tell him. I see the way he looks at you. It would destroy him to have to hurt you. If everything you told me is true, he won’t have any other option but to bring you to his Court for judgment, or kill you outright.”

“That would be better than staying in this misery!”

“No, it wouldnot.” Her voice turns fierce. “Not for you, not for me, not for him, not for the people you save. Whatever happens, Kat,you must stay alive. Which means youcannottell him. Even if it rips you in two.”

“I feel like I am deceiving him no matter what I do! I lie to him when I don’t tell him the truth. I lie to him when I give him affection. I lie to him when I keep my distance.Allof it is a lie, and I cannot live with myself!”

Mary’s face softens and hardens simultaneously. She takes me by the shoulders, peeling me back enough to look me in the eyes. “Do you love him, Kat?”

I nod miserably.

“Then you have to leave him.”

Her statement shocks me out of my heartbreak long enough to stare at her in astonishment. “Leavehim?”

She gets to her feet and motions for me to do the same. She rummages through my wardrobe until she has everything she needs to help me dress for the day. We move to the washroom, and she helps me into my clothes. “If you cannot live with him without betraying him or yourself, then you need to put distance between the two of you. Since he isn’t going to take your fortune, you can return to Vandermore Manor and live there—away from him. You wouldn’t need to divorce him unless you wanted to.”

Divorce. Live at Vandermore Manor without him.

If I asked for such things, he would honor them. I’d break his heart in the process—but he would honor my wishes.

The thought makes me so sick I nearly throw up.

“Neither of you intended to get stuck in this situation,” Mary says as she fixes my hair. “You’ve done the best you can for as long as you can. For the first time, you have the freedom to do whatever you want with your life and go wherever you want to go. It’s time to cut your losses and leave.”

I don’t want to leave Rahk. Do I have any other option, though?

“I need a couple of days,” I whisper. “Tonight is my last raid before Nothril, and I need time to tell him that I want to leave.”

Mary finishes my hair and squeezes my shoulders. “You can do this.”

I do not fear being unable to walk away from Rahk. I fear the rest of my life after I’ve walked away from him.

Chapter 51

Rahk

Iporeoverthelists on my desk. Anything to distract me from the plunging despair. Anything to keep from trying to reason away Kat’s concerns—even though I knew from the start that she was right. I cannot visit Harbright regularly. Lord and Lady Nothril would find out, and they would send Pelarusa to kill Kat. But part of me insists there must besomeway to make it work.

I need to stop going around and around in my head over this. Just for a little bit.

So I search the lists of every person, from the greatest to the smallest, who was present in each Court recently infiltrated by the Ivy Mask. He has someone working with him. Someone who can access any of the Courts without raising suspicion. If my hunch is correct, I will find a name that is on each of these lists. The lists are extensive, however, and with how long it’s been since I slept, my eyes start to glaze over.

Until I land on one name. My heart quickens.

It’s not a name, but a title. One I am familiar with.

The Human Tailor of Valehaven.

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