Page 30 of Mastered By Bliss

“I didn’t see you at Nic’s service.”

“I sent flowers.”Anything more would have been fodder for the media circus surrounding it.

“People talked.”He clears his throat.“Because you weren’t there.”

“They would’ve talked more if I had gone.”And while Nic loved drama, I don’t think she would’ve appreciated the kind of drama that meant I was more talked about at her funeral than she was.

Billings holds out his hands.They’re soft, the skin loose.“Gage.My boy.Where did I go wrong?”

“Don’t act like a father to me.Youknowwhere you went wrong.Taking us in, acting like our—our dad.Then asking us to simulate sex for the cameras.”

“It was a job—it was what the show demanded?—”

I cut him off.“We were underage.It was wrong.”

“People wanted sex in the show.”Some of his old fire and confidence returns.He waves a hand as if he’s shooing off an insect.“Not just the older actors—all the hot young people.It’s more than the story.The fans wantedsex, and lots of it.”

“Again.We wereteenagers.”

“So?Teenagers have sex.”

“Not onscreen.Not with everyone watching and judging.Do you know what that does to a kid’s brain?”

“You liked it.”That’s the same dismissive tone he’s used all along.“Don’t tell me you didn’t—you couldn’t have done all that for the cameras if?—”

Before I realize what I’m doing, my fist flies at his mouth.There’s a loudsmackas my knuckles make contact.

Dmitri and Jake are at my side, ready to defend me.

Billings rocks back on his heels.He wipes the blood off his lip with a handkerchief, but more gathers.He holds the handkerchief in place, speaking around it.“I suppose I deserved that.I won’t press charges.But Gage, I do need to talk to you.Soon.When you’re in a place to listen, call me.Don’t wait too long.”

He reaches into his pocket and pulls out a card.

I consider letting the card fall to the ground, but some gut instinct, deep inside, compels me to take it.

Then he’s gone without another word.

I stand between Dmitri and Jake, my heart pounding, my hand aching.There’s blood on my knuckles.I don’t know if it’s mine or Billings’s.

Pressure gathers in my throat, behind my eyes.We were kids.We werekids.

I’m losing my mind.I can’t let this go.Billings is just walking away, barely chastised.Hollywood didn’t punish him.The Shinies couldn’t punish him—again, we were kids.Stupid teenagers who didn’t understand what we were signing on for.I want to go back in time and shake myself.Why the fuck would anyone agree to film that?It doesn’t matter that Jess’s parents, of all people, found out about the orgy scene and put a stop to it.

The scene never aired.Not in its entirety.

Clips were, though.Taken out of context.Everyone who’s seen Season Five thinks they’ve seen my face during an orgasm.They’ve seen more of my body than they should have.

Nic leaking our sex tape was nothing on this.At least in that footage, I’m an adult.

I press my hands against my eyes, trying to keep the pressure inside.I can’t do this.

“Gage.”Dmitri places his hand on my shoulder.“Gage, we’re supposed to meet Leah soon.”

I never should have let down my barriers and defenses.“I can’t.”

“But…dinner with Leah.”

“Fuck dinner.”My voice comes out harsher than I intended.I keep my injured hand in my pocket and try to soften my tone.“Please.Call Leah, tell her I can’t make it tonight.”

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