Page 49 of Mastered By Bliss

“But there’s nothing proper about wearing one.And Billings put a bunch of horny teenagers, new to the film industry, in almost no clothing.Then he told us to go at it.He even left out some alcohol and turned a blind eye when we helped ourselves.I won’t lie—it was fun in the moment.Not at all traumatizing.Jess was uncomfortable afterward, and her discomfort made the rest of us realize it hadn’t been right.She told her parents.Those of us who had professional managers got their managers involved.My parents were my managers, and they didn’t care.They just wanted to get paid.”

“Fuck them,” Dmitri says quietly.

“It’s why I don’t have contact with my parents.”I shrug.That pain is old, and so far in the past, it doesn’t touch me anymore.“The other managers brought up Billings’s actions to our studio’s union.That union isn’t the big one that protects everybody, but the case was salacious enough to garner the media’s attention.It wasn’t a good look for Billings.He left abruptly, amid all kinds of pedophilia rumors.The writers had to scramble to resolve Season Five, and they killed off all our characters except Nic’s and Javi’s.”

“Wow.”Leah squeezes my hand.“Did you want to quit?”

“That’s the worst part—at the time, I didn’t want my character killed off.AoG was my home, and the other actors, the support crew—they were my family.I begged to stay on.But once I was away from it, I realized how toxic it had been, how unhappy I was.Still, I remained friends with the Shinies and continued to live in Hollywood.I petitioned for early emancipation so my parents would no longer be allowed to siphon away my earnings.”

Leah and Dmitri soak in my words.They don’t make it about themselves—not that I really worried they would, but it had been my parents’ reaction when everything came to light.

“Anyway, that’s mostly it.”I take a deep, calming breath.“You know pieces of the rest.The following years were fun, but dangerous.Drug use was rampant.I didn’t use, but Nic experimented a lot.She and I got into the underground sex club scenes.That’s where the tape came from.I didn’t know she was filming it.”

“I still think she released it.”Leah’s eyes flash with anger.

“Probably.”I shrug again, but I feel at peace with the lack of resolution.“Javi could’ve done it—he hated me because I was with Nic first.It didn’t matter to him that she cheated and chose him in the end.We’ll never really know who leaked the video, and that’s probably best.They’re both gone.I’m not angry anymore.”

“And what was up with Vanessa Billings?”Dmitri asks.

“I had no idea she was so invested.”I tap the edge of my empty coffee cup.“I can see why Billings’s disgrace was hard on her.After all, she was around our age.I vaguely remember her hanging around the set.If she had aspirations to be an actor, her father’s quick exit from the industry would’ve been devastating.”

Leah gives me a thoughtful look.“I can get why that would be devastating, but at the same time, she really…”

“Lost her mind,” Dmitri finishes.

We’re all quiet for a moment.

I break the silence.“Do you have any other questions for me?”

Dmitri shakes his head.Leah says, “No.Thank you for telling us all of this.”

“You’re welcome.It was far overdue.I know that my past trauma has impacted both of you in negative ways.I’m working on it with a therapist, and will continue to do so until she tells me otherwise.I hope, though—I hope the three of us can keep doing this.Sleeping in a big bed together, Dmitri and me loving you, Leah.All three of us supporting each other.”

“I want that.”Leah starts to nod, then winces.

“No more nodding, baby.”Dmitri takes her hand.“Have the pain meds kicked in yet?”

“Mostly.But back to sleeping in a big bed together—does that mean you’re moving in with us, Dmitri?”

His smile is wide.“If you’ll have me.Gage already gave the okay.We can find a new place, or stay here.It’s up to you.”

“Here’s good.”She leans back.“Sleepy now.”

Dmitri and I help her lie all the way down.I whisper, “You can rest, sweet girl.We’ll be right here.”

She grins, her eyes closed.“I know.Love you both.Forever.”

“We love you, too,” Dmitri says.

I add, “Forever.”

I’m not tired, but I lie down next to Leah, breathing in her sweetness.Dmitri does the same.

I shared every dark, twisted element of my past.And we’re okay.We’re all going to be okay.

* * *

Gage

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