Page 18 of Pack Baines

I nod slowly, accepting his defense of his brother, and walk towards him. As soon as I’m beside him, we walk into the living room together, Leylan taking up a space close to my shoulder, his arm brushing against mine innocently enough that I don’t bother pulling away.

As soon as we’re in the living room, I spy Lowie sitting on the end of the corner couch, Geo seated beside him. There’s an empty space in the corner, Creek occupying the seat that follows, and Evron is seated on the floor despite the plenty of seats he could have parked himself in.

“Sit wherever you’re comfortable, Juju,” Leylan softly commands, and my feet are weirdly moving before I can conjure the thoughts to do so, all of these nicknames I haven’t heard since the night I almost died turning my insides to mush, a warmth settling in the pits of my soul at every one uttered.

I end up seated in the empty corner of the lush, cream couch littered with enough blankets that each of us could take one and there’d be more to spare. They all range in soft, subtle tones, warm and welcoming, and they blend effortlessly with the rest of the room. A beautiful room, much like the rest of the house. Soft-gray paint spans most of the walls and the entirety of the ceiling, white wooden panels expand across the lower half of the walls in a beautiful contrast.

“What movie takes your fancy, firecracker?” Geo asks, biting a large chunk from his pizza, causing my lips to twitch.

Shrugging, I say, “I’m easy. I’ll watch whatever you guys want to watch.”

Creek nudges my arm and says, “How about a horror?”

“Sure, but only because it’s been too long since I last saw you hide behind a cushion,” I snicker, biting into my own pizza, moaning softly at the burst of flavor that coats my tongue. My eyes flicker closed as I savor the bite, the cheese practically melting on my tongue, and I sigh as my back sinks into the couch behind me.

When my eyes open again, I find all five of the guys watching me, and an uncomfortable warmth rises in my cheeks. Clearing my throat, I murmur, “Sorry. Haven’t had pizza in a while.”

Lowie frowns, intense gaze watching me like he’s trying to extract my thoughts and memories directly from my mind. Leylan smiles softly at me, adjusting his position on the couch, while Geo and Creek both look away quickly, the latter nodding and the former swallowing the bite of pizza he just took with an audible gulp. Evron, however, grins wickedly at me, before he lifts his plate and moves to sit directly in front of me, his back brushing against my legs. Hedoesn’t say a thing, simply settles into his new spot, and lifts the remote for Creek.

Taking the remote without once looking over at me, Creek goes about looking through every streaming service they seem to have, finding three horror movies to debate between.

“It has a nun, though. Tell me that isn’t creepy in the right setting,” he argues with Geo, looking over at me for support, that I offer all too willingly.

“Not as creepy as kids killing their whole families in their sleep,” Geo argues. “That shit could happen. A nun’s head three-sixty no-scoping in a derelict church is less likely.”

I nod in support of that, too, because my— I mean, the beta isn’t wrong.

“That’s where you’re both wrong,” Evron chimes in, wiping his hands with a napkin before turning to face us all. “The creepiest shit comes in the form of a clown who lives in a sewer and eats kids for shits and giggles.”

I pull a face. “I mean, that is creepy, but I think Geo wins. Murderous little kids taking out their families seems pretty wild to me.”

“But he tears the kid’s arm off,” Ev tries to counter, throwing his hands up like he can’t believe what he’s hearing. “Just straight up ripped it clean off, after acting like a weapons grade predator, luring children into a storm drain. That’s fucked up.”

“True,” Creek agrees, pointing at a grinning Evron, smug that he’s finally proving his point.

Geo shakes his head and effectively counters, “You’re not wrong, but there’s something infinitely screwed about kids seeing the bogyman and then finding creative ways to off their parents and siblings at his command. Tell me you’ll sleep easy after watching that, bro.”

There’s a pause before Evron shakes his head in defeat. “You know what, you’re right. I’d probably end up kicking the next kid I see on the street, just in case. Can’t trust those little snot gobblers,what with their unnerving stares and constant wondering what games I have on my phone. As if I’d hand my cell over to a sticky-handed bandit willingly. You’d have to shoot me first.”

The room falls silent before the guys start laughing, and I hide my grin behind my hand. The pizza is long gone, my drink cradled in the hand not suppressing my amusement.

“Low, Ley, what are your thoughts?” Creek wonders, winking over at me when he witnesses me clearly struggling to rein in my laughter.

“I couldn’t give less of a shit, so long as you put a movie on,” Lowie grumbles, but I see the slight twitch of his own lips. He’s not as immune to the ridiculousness as he’d like everyone to believe. Some things never change.

Leylan’s smile is soft, like he’s enjoying basking in the back and forth, before he says, “Ultimately, the choice is Juniper’s. State your cases to her, if you must.”

My smile drops and I glare at Leylan, slack-jawed and betrayed. All eyes turn back to me again, and I roll my eyes before snatching the remote from Creek’s hands and closing my eyes the moment my fingers are poised above the left and right button. Without thinking too hard on it, I start pressing the buttons randomly, back and forth, back and forth, until I lose track of where the cursor will be on the giant television attached to the wall.

Opening my eyes, I see the cursor has landed on a movie with the killer kids, and Geo throws his hands up in celebration while Evron and Creek groan good naturedly. Snorting, I deposit the remote on the pretty birch-wood coffee table before sinking into the cushions once more, relishing in the feelings thrumming through my body. The nostalgia of how things used to be between us all, the forgotten animosity surrounding the years we’ve been apart, and the overwhelming belonging I can’t help but feel surrounded by the guys I thought I’d spend my life with once upon a time.

That thought brings with it the niggles of guilt and grief, my amusement fleeing just as quickly as it came, replaced by the self-loathing and sadness that always surrounds me. I sigh, wrapping my arms around myself, annoyed that the lighter, happier version of myself fled after only a brief interlude. For the first time in a very long time I feel like I finally belong somewhere, feel like there’s a place in the world carved just for me. I’m surrounded by the guys I’ve missed more than I could ever put into words, content and satisfied, and yet, the thoughts and memories prevail. I was absent from their lives for years. I don’t know them any more than they know me now. Too much time has passed, and I feel the rift between us, a rift that spans too wide to jump over. I can’t understand why I’ve been so willingly welcomed into their home, how we’ve seemed to have picked up where we left off all those years ago.

I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop, for one of them to ask where I’ve been, what happened, why I disappeared. I won’t be able to lie to any of them if they ask, which will lead me down the only route there is. Explain everything and hope they don’t turn their backs on me like so many have.

I don’t know if I can put my heart on the line like that again, now when it was so brutally broken at the ripe old age of twelve, and the pack I thought I’d create, the future I thought I would build with the five men surrounding me, vanished before I even realized it was what I desperately wanted. What I’ve only ever wanted.

“You okay?” Creek whispers, leaning close enough that his breath fans over my uncovered ear, my hair securely tucked behind it. Ginger and spice tickles my nose, and I inhale subtly, relaxing as Creek’s scent washes away my melancholy thoughts.

---