Page 40 of Shot For Mercy

“Again?” Giovanni chuckles. “I thought it was a one-time thing.”

“Yeah, well, one thing led to another, and here we are,” I snap, remembering last night. The way Cole was so fucking defiant, yet pliable in my arms, too. “It’s more than sex, Gio.”

Giovanni’s eyebrows raise, and he leans back on the couch, getting comfortable. As if he’s here for story time. “Is it now?”

“Yeah,” I tell him. “But there’s Matteo to think about, too. I don’t know what to do.”

“What are you saying, Emiliano?” Alessandro asks slowly. “Do you want to be in a relationship with him?”

I nod.

“That’s a fucking terrible idea,” Lorenzo says.

“What the fuck?” Giovanni grins.

Tony just stares.

“You’re out of your fucking mind.” Alessandro stands, and now he’s the one pacing the length of my office. “Do you know what this will do to your son?”

“You don’t think I fucking know that?” I yell. “I just—I can’t help how I fucking feel!”

“You know Emiliano has never been in a relationship,” Giovanni tells Alessandro gently, trying to calm him down. “This is the first time he’s wanted anyone, Alex. Let him live.”

Alessandro sighs. “They’ll use him against you.”

“Who?” I frown.

“Everyone who finds out you have a weakness now,” Alessandro tells me slowly, as if I’m stupid.

“I’ll protect him,” I reply. “I’ll keep him safe.”

“You can’t,” Giovanni points out. “He’s a Made Man. He goes on runs, and you know he won’t let you take that away from him.”

I nod because I do know that. “I can’t give him up,” I say weakly.

“Then don’t,” Giovanni tells me gently. “We’ll support you. Right?” he asks the rest of them.

Lorenzo nods.

Tony grins.

Alessandro grunts.

“He’s mine,” I declare. “And I take care of what’s mine.”

“How are you going to tell Matteo?” Alessandro asks me, point blank. “What will you do if he wants nothing to do with you?”

“Let me worry about that,” I say softly because I don’t have an answer for that. “And I don’t know what I’ll do.”

Because the truth is, losing my son or Cole can equally gut me. I just don’t know which feeling is worse. I’ve always been taught that your partner is the one you pick above everyone else, but it’s hard for me. Do Cole and I even have a future?

For my sake, I hope we do.

Ifucked up and I know it.

It feels like there’s nothing I can do to make it better right now, regardless of how gentle Emiliano was before he left the penthouse. I could tell he was angry with me, and even though I couldn’t understand why at first, I think I see it now. I guess I would be angry too, if he were spending time with someone he’s had sex with before me. But it’s not the same. Matteo has been my best friend since I was six years old, and I don’t know how to get Em to understand that he has nothing to worry about. That Matteo is not a threat. But even I know that’s far-fetched. He’s not going to listen to logic. The man is practically a caveman.

Earlier he was so jealous, as if he couldn’t stand the thought of me being with someone else. It’s a far cry from a few days ago when he said we were a mistake. I don’t want to be hung up on that, but I can’t deny it stung. It still does. He apologized, and I swear I’m moving forward, but he’s giving me whiplash. The way he claimed me last night is still imprinted in my brain, and I just want to shout from the rooftops that he’s mine and I’m his, but it would hurt the other most important person in my life. I don’t want to do that, yet I also know it’s inevitable. Eventually, if Emiliano really is serious about me, we will come out to everyone, and Matteo will be hurt.

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