Page 78 of Shot For Mercy

“They’re mine,” I growl. “I’m going to fucking burn them.”

Alessandro pulls out his cell phone, then presses it to his ear. I see. Fucking. Red. I’m just about to tackle him when Giovanni is suddenly holding me back. No. No.No.

“Matteo,” Alessandro murmurs. “Cole’s been taken.”

There’s a moment of silence in the room, but I hear Matteo clearly. He’s breaking down. He’s devastated. He’s coming. I don’t want to fucking see him. I can’t do it. I’ll fucking kill him. It’s too fresh.

Alessandro hangs up, raising his hands in defeat, and I’m just about to deck him when Lorenzo comes to my other side and both Gio and him hold me back.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?!” I scream, and Alessandro flinches. At least he’s a little scared. Good, because he’s not getting out of this one. No fucking way. “I fucking hate him, Alex! He’s not coming to my home. Fuck no!”

“He’s your son!” Alessandro says through gritted teeth. “He loves his best friend. He’ll help us find him. Maybe he saw something. Maybe?—”

But I don’t hear anything he’s saying—still stuck onhe loves his best friend. How can I not be stuck on it? He gives it a whole new meaning. He’s in love with Cole. In love with the love of my life. And I can’t fucking stand it. As soon as he gets here, I’m beating his ass. Mark my fucking words.

My brothers let me go just as Alessandro goes to the couch, putting some much-needed distance between us. He looks wary of me, and good, he should be scared. I feel all this rage inside of me, and I’m going to let it out one way or another.

I pace the living room, back and forth, in front of my brothers for what feels like hours. No one dares to speak. No one addresses the elephant in the room. Not when Alessandro went back to the couch to sit down, and not when I put the pictures on my coffee table for all of my brothers to see. They don’t dare say anything negative about Cole, and for that, I’m grateful. Even if I’m hurt, even if I’m dying inside, I don’t want anyone to speak ill of him. That’s where I draw the line, and I think my brothers know that. Even Alessandro isn’t talking shit about him. Maybe they know I’m a quick trigger right now. They should know it was a bad idea to bring Matteo here.

I look down at my watch just as the elevator dings, signaling the arrival of my son. I tense, and suddenly Alessandro is taking quick strides toward me, but it’s too late. I bring my arm back and punch Matteo in the face, hearing the crunch of bone. I think I broke his nose. Fucking good. He definitely deserves it. Fucking asshole.

“What the fuck, Dad—” Matteo hisses, straightening up and looking into my eyes. But then he seems to realize that I know something, because he smiles. Hesmiles. Blood smears over his lips as he does. “I guess I deserve that. But I warned you in advance, dear ol’ Dad. I don’t play fair. I play to win.”

“Fuck you,” I growl, and Alex comes to my side and holds my arm. “You need to get out of my house.”

“It’s Cole’s home, too.” He shrugs. “And he’d want me here. I’m not going anywhere until we find him.”

“Why now?” I chuckle. “You said you were done with him. What kind of sick fucking game are you playing?”

“I’m not playing anything,” Matteo says through gritted teeth. “I’m not here to try to get him to be with me. I’m here because I can’t abandon him now. I want him out of my life—but not dead.Neverthat.”

I get it. I really do. But it still doesn’t change how I feel—jealous, murderous. I want to wring his neck and fucking destroy him. The urge to do so is strong, and it scares me, because I’ve never felt this way before, and certainly not towards my kid. I don’t want to feel this way anymore. Maybe I need to accept that I fucked up just as much he did. But it’s not the same. He wasn’t in a relationship with Cole. I am. And he disrespected it. Stepped all over it. He knows no fucking boundaries, and if he does, he certainly doesn’t respect them.

Fuck.

I don’t know how to do this. How am I supposed to play nice while feeling this way? I think it’s nearly impossible, and I don’t know if I have it in me to try.

“I know you don’t want me here, but I can help. Just let me help.” He sighs, running a hand down his face in frustration, smearing blood all over himself. “He has to be in a safe house. We just have to figure out where before they kill him.”

“They aren’t going to.” I shake my head quickly. “They can’t. I’ll kill them all?—”

Matteo’s eyebrows rise toward his hairline, and he looks at me in disbelief. As if he can’t fathom the words coming out of my mouth. I realize I sound insane. They’re definitely going to kill him, and fast. We have to find him. We have to?—

“It’s going to be okay, Dad,” Matteo whispers. “I’ll do everything I can to help us find him. I’ll reach out to Natasha. I’ll find out.”

“She probably doesn’t know anything.”

“That’s doubtful.” He rolls his eyes. “She probably knows every move he makes.”

“And how are you going to contact her?” I ask him, my brows furrowing. “I don’t think I need to tell you that you can’t show up unannounced.”

“I have her phone number,” he replies, and my stomach does a weird little flip. Fear. That’s what I’m feeling.

I’m scared he’s going to prefer her over me now that I fucked up our relationship. That he’ll go to her from now on. That she’ll be there for him in ways that I can’t be anymore. But don’t I deserve that? I did it to myself.

“Okay.” I sigh, hating this situation. Yet I’d do anything to find him, even if it’s thanks to Matteo. “Thank you.”

“I’m not doing it for you.” Matteo scoffs, and my nostrils flare. “I’m doing it for him.”

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