Page 78 of Cross My Heart

“Is she really your best friend though?”

“She’s been in my life for twenty-nine years,” I snap. “I don’t think it matters how long she’s hated me.”

“I know that, Noah,” Tyler says softly. “But will you let her come between us?”

“Don’t you get it, Ty?” I sigh, running a hand down my face and setting the tea on the table beside me. “I’m the one coming between both of you. I’m the odd one out. I’m a third wheel. A home-wrecker.”

“You’re none of those things,” Tyler growls. “Scarlett and I have been over for a really long time, Noah. We haven’t even fucked in six months.”

My heart squeezes and my stomach flips, and I do the math. “Does she know that?” I whisper, my voice cracking.

“She does now.”

I relax against the rocking chair, wrapping the comforter tighter around my body. The truth is, I’m relieved. Relieved that she knows now. I knew that already though. I don’t know why I needed the reassurance, but I do. Maybe it’s because I’m still scared he will change his mind. That I’ll lose him for good. I don’t know what I’d do if that happened. I know I’ve been mad at him, but it’s been more hurt than anger lately.

“Say something, please,” Tyler whispers, and my eyes connect with his again. There’s sorrow in them—and fear.

“I’m here, Ty,” I whisper. “I’ll always be here.”

Ty nods slowly, keeping his eyes on me he drops to his knees in front of me. He seeks my hands, grabbing them and squeezing gently. “I’ll keep choosing you over and over again—every day—for the rest of our lives. There’s no one else for me but you, Noah.”

“How do you know now?” I ask him, “How did you figure it out?”

“I’ve always known—deep down, I’ve always known it was you.” He smiles sadly. “I was just scared about what it all meant. What it said about me.”

“What it said about you?” I ask with furrowed brows.

“Leaving one best friend for the other.” He looks ashamed of himself, and I just want to wrap him up in this comforter with me and never let go. “Cheating on her. I feel like a horrible person.”

“You’re not a horrible person,” I reply, “Good people make mistakes too.”

“You have to say that because you love me.”

“Do I?” I smirk.

“You know what I mean.” Tyler rolls his eyes. “You’re my best friend.”

“I feel bad for her,” I tell Tyler in a soft tone, grabbing the mug from the table and bringing it back to my lips. The tea is still hot, and I groan as it rolls smoothly down my throat. “Regardless of it all, she has loved you for a decade. Probably longer.”

“Do you think she’s loved me as long as you have?”

“It’s hard to know.” I shrug. “I don’t know if it started as a game for her—just because I told her I wanted you. Scarlett was never all that good at sharing, and she always wanted what she couldn’t have. And I guess she got you anyway.”

Tyler looks guilty, but I don’t want him to feel that way. It’s not his fault he got caught between us in a little petty feud that should’ve never continued this long. He’s a person too, with wants and needs and feelings. And it’s easy to get caught up between two people who care deeply for you. I just hope he can understand the difference now that he’s older. I hope he can decipher his feelings for the both of us and differentiate between what’s real and what’s not.

“I wish I wouldn’t have put her between us,” he tells me, and my stomach flips. I’ve wished for that same thing numerous times, but we don’t get a do-over. And we have to live with the cards we were dealt—and with the decisions we made. “I always knew there was something there between us. I just didn’t know that I was making a huge mistake.”

“It’s okay,” I soothe him, looking down at him. He rests his head on my thigh, and I run my fingers through his curly brown hair. “What’s done is done.”

“I won’t be making the same mistakes again.”

“I know,” I reply, because somehow I do. Tyler makes eye contact with me, his eyes dilated, and I smile down at him. “We’re gonna be okay.”

“I know.” He grins. “I’m ready for this—for us. There’s no stopping me now.”

And while I love the words coming out of his mouth, it also sucks that it took him this long to see it—us. To choose me. But if I’m being honest with myself, I’d wait for Tyler Levi Hayes another lifetime if that’s what it took. I’d wait for just one night in his arms. He wouldn’t even really have to be mine when it’s over.

That’s how much I love him.

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