Page 14 of Cross My Heart

And then Scarlett breaks the spell between us by laughing loudly. “What the fuck was that guys?”

“Oh, please.” I roll my eyes, recovering quickly. “Don’t act like you haven’t been waiting for this moment all night.”

She laughs again. “Okay, yeah, I was.” But it sounds like a lie.

I wonder if this will ever happen again.

I wonder if I’d want it to.

Chapter 8

TYLER

18 YEARS OLD

It’s finally Senior Prom, and we’re all going together. “The Three Musketeers” as Scarlett says. And for the first time in years, Noah and I agreed with her. I was too scared to ask her to go with just me, scared to make Noah upset. So this was the best alternative—theonlyalternative. And Noah seemed to agree to anything we suggested. Too lazy to ask a guy out, he said. But I don’t believe him. I think it’s more than that. He just won’t admit to it, and I won’t push him.

It feels like there’s something between us. Especially after the way he kissed me just a few months ago. Noah was my first kiss—no one knows that. Not even Ashley. We had just started dating, and our first kiss was supposed to be that night, but then we began to play spin the bottle, and the rest was history. I took her home afterward and kissed her on her front porch. I felt more confident now that I knew what to do. I also felt guilty. I don’t even know why.

Noah makes me feel things I’ve never felt before, and it’s confusing as hell. Sometimes I think I want to be with him, but he’s so damn hot and cold that I don’t know if he wants it too. He seems jealous of Scarlett all the time, as he should be. Because the truth is, I have feelings for them both. Even if I won’t voice it. Both of them snuck up on me. One day we were all just friends, and then gradually, over time, I started wanting more. Who do I want to be with? That’s the million-dollar question. I can’t choose between them.

Maybe it’s because I’m not meant to be with either of them. It’s a recipe for disaster—I know that. No matter who I choose, the other will be hurt. I’m not stupid, I know Scarlett likes me back. I’ve known for years. I just also know if I go out with her, Noah’s and my friendship will be ruined beyond repair. He did warn me against it after all. I should’ve listened. But catching feelings for himandScarlett was inevitable. It was also horrifying. Like watching a car crash in slow motion. Deadly. Because now I find myself in this predicament.

Him or her.

Her or him.

How do I pick?

Noah and I are standing in front of the stairs, waiting for Scarlett to come down. We’ve been here for about half an hour, and she’s fashionably late. According to her mother. We’re pacing back and forth, and we haven’t made eye contact once. Not that I haven’t tried, but Noah is being stubborn as a mule. I don’t know what the hell his problem is, but I want to shake him. Tell him to get his shit together. That we’re supposed to have fun.

There’s the loud clunk of heels as Scarlett finally makes her way down the stairs, and Amy—her mother—ushers us to meet her at the end of them. Finally, she comes into view, a fucking vision if there ever was one.

She’s wearing a long pink gown, a silky material that hugs her curves. The neckline isn’t too low, but her breasts are still visible at the top just the tiniest bit. When she finally makes it to the bottom, she spins slowly to show us the back. It’s a backless dress, strappy all the way to the curve of her lower back, and my mouth goes dry. Suddenly my body feelshot.

“You look—” Noah starts.

“Beautiful,” I finish.

Scarlett grins at us, and I present her with her white orchid corsage, her favorite flower. We planned this down to the tiniest detail, Noah and I. We wanted to make this night perfect for her. Especially since it doesn’t mean that much to us, but it does to her. It is our last hurrah, after all.

We spend the next thirty minutes posing for Amy. She must take about a hundred pictures, and by the end of it, my cheeks hurt from smiling so much. She wants to get it perfect though. Her baby girl only gets one prom night, and she’s elated that we’re taking her. Her two best friends. The ones who would give their lives up for hers. If only she knew this was real for me. That this moment means something. That giving her this means something to me.

But I don’t say that.

Instead, I offer my arm and walk Scarlett out the door to Noah’s Mustang. He’s the only one who has a car, but it doesn’t matter because we’re inseparable. We’ve never wanted to drive on our own, it would be pointless anyway. We always end up back together at school. But now life is going to change. I know it. Nothing will be the same after this day.

Noah is going to enlist at some point. We don’t know when since he hasn’t talked about it recently, but we know it’s inevitable. It is his dream after all. And then there’s Scarlett, who’s going to the community college nearby to study to be a phlebotomist. She’s finally achieving her dream of working in a hospital, stupid as it sounded all those years ago. But it clearly makes her happy. I asked her why she didn’t just go for nursing or something else, and she said she wanted to work as soon as possible, and phlebotomy was one of the shortest options.

And me.

I got accepted to every college I applied to.

Stanford, UCLA, University of Alabama, and Alabama State University. All on a full-ride scholarship to go play football. But I declined them all—last minute. I can’t leave. I don’t know why. But thinking of leaving them behind paralyzes me with fear. Especially Scarlett. She wouldn’t be okay without me, not really. I know that much. And I didn’t want to waste any time I have left with Noah either. I want to have him until the second he leaves. Which makes me selfish, I know that. But I just can’t fucking help myself. So I’m putting my dreams on the back burnerfor now.

At least that’s what I keep telling myself.

It’s just a gap year. I can always go to the community college next year and get started on the basic courses to be an English teacher. It doesn’thaveto be forever.

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