Page 81 of Cross My Heart

It’s a stupid fucking question, so I don’t answer it. I don’t know why I’m suddenly giving him the cold shoulder, but maybe this is affecting me more than I thought it would. I love him more than anything, but I also care deeply for her. It would be impossible not to. Above everything else, I didn’t mean to hurt her. I’ve fucked up over and over throughout the years, and the least I can do is keep to myself until she leaves this house—at least until then.

“I think we need some space,” Noah says, and my stomach flips. It’s what I want, what I need, but when it comes from his lips…it feels final. Like he wants space forever.

“I agree,” I tell him, my voice coming out shaky. “But what does that mean for you?”

“It means we need time away from each other for a little while.” I look at him, really look at him. His eyes are red-rimmed and swollen as if he’s been crying, his bottom lip swollen and red as if he’s been biting it, and his dark hair askew. “Maybe I should stay with River?—”

“Absolutely not,” I snap. “You’re staying here—end of discussion.”

“You can’t do that,” he whispers. “This hurts a lot. I need space, I need?—”

“I’ll give you what you need until Scarlett leaves, not a second more,” I tell him through gritted teeth, grabbing the edge of the island and leaning over it until my face is in line with his. We make eye contact, and his eyes dilate, black swallowing blue. “Then, Noah Milner, you’re fucking mine.”

Noah swallows hard, his eyes widening. “Ty.”

“No.” I shake my head. “Don’t reject me now. I can’t take it. I’m giving up everything for you—forus. Don’t do this.”

Noah searches my gaze. “Are you sure about this?”

“Never been more sure of anything in my life.”

And it’s true, I’ve never been more sure.

I want him and only him.

Noah goes back to his room and comes out with a packed bag, not bothering to say goodbye. And it stings—it hurts like a bitch. But I don’t go after him. It feels wrong while Scarlett is still here. I need to respect her for once. I need this to go over smoothly. I don’t know why I care so much. She already hates me. But I can’t bring myself to make her hate me even more.

I go to the couch and sit down, hating everything about my life right now. But I have no right to complain. I did it to myself and I know that. Now I just have to accept the consequences of my actions.

Scarlett comes out with a packed carry-on suitcase. She probably packed a couple of changes of clothes and her uniforms. It feels final. A nail in my coffin. She looks over at me with a grimace, but she’s no longer crying.

“I’ll send over divorce papers,” I whisper, but it sounds loud in the silence of the room. “I’ve already made arrangements to put up the bar for sale. Now all we need is to put the house for sale too.”

“Perfect.” She nods with a smile. “Sell it all and give me my half. I want nothing more to do with this or you.”

I nod slowly as my heart squeezes in my chest. “Fair enough.”

“I’ll be back in three days to pick up my shit.”

“Alright, Scar.”

She opens the front door and goes through it, and just when I expect her to look back and see the look of destruction on my face, she doesn’t. Instead, she slams the door shut and leaves me behind.

And it feels like I’ve been annihilated.

Chapter 41

NOAH

It’s been one day since the incident in the hallway. That’s what I’m calling it now, mostly because I don’t know how else to describe it. If I’m being honest, hearing Tyler tell Scarlett he’s in love with me was almost too much for me to bear. I’ve been waiting for those words for over half my life, and to finally hear them broke something inside of me. It took everything in my power to stay in that room as long as I did. I wanted to run out to him and beg him to be with me right now, consequences be damned. But then I realized not only was that not smart, but it would set us up for failure. He needs to get closure with his marriage. Needs to move past it on his own terms, and I need to respect that.

It’s hard to stay away though, especially now that he’s fulfilling his promise. I feel like an asshole for doubting him, but I have to remind myself that I had every right to feel fear and doubt. That he broke my heart even if he didn’t mean to.

“You’ve watched me be in love with him our whole lives.”

Those words keep playing in my mind on a loop, and it’s killing me inside to keep my distance. But now I’m here shooting the shit with Riv, and I’m staying the night, refusing to be with Scarlett and Tyler. I don’t know what’s going to happen between them, but if what happened in the hallway is any indication, lots of tears will be involved. I don’t want to be there for that, mostly because I’m torn. Sometimes I feel awful for her, probably because she’s been my friend for so long that I don’t want her to hurt. But another fucked up part of me is happy—relieved—that it’s over between them.

That’s why I have to keep my distance.

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