Page 67 of Cross My Heart

“Ah,” he says softly. “That explains so much.”

“What does it explain?” I raise an eyebrow in return.

“Why they didn’t wake you up to come play with us.”

That makes me chuckle, and he grins. “I’ll just be outside,” I tell them, walking toward the sliding glass door and opening it, then closing it behind me for good measure.

It’s October and a little chillier than I expected. I take a seat on one of the patio chairs and lean back, looking at the sky. It’s dark, but the stars aren’t that visible. I guess that’s what happens when you’re so close to the city. Atlanta is only thirty minutes away, if that.

I’m not saying I’ve enjoyed my deployments per se, but the night sky was the best part of them. Being able to see all the stars made everything better at the moment, even if I knew the feeling wouldn’t last. It would fade when the sun came up, but that was fine. I knew what I was dealing with. The stars made me feel closer to home for some reason, but now being back here…I can’t help but feel like something is missing. Now it doesn’t feel like home anymore.

I wonder if Jeremiah and the others are in the stars now, and if they are, it’s really sad that I can’t see them. I’d do just about anything for another day with them. I’d do just about anything for a phone call. I’d definitely do anything to have them be okay,alive. I’ve often felt guilty about the fact that they’re not. I can’t remember exactly what happened, but it feels like it’s my fault that they’re dead. Otherwise, why wouldIbe alive? The only one at that.

The sliding glass door opens, and I look over at Thomas, who is closing it now. Looking away, I gaze back out at the sky, as if the universe will grant me all the answers about my life.

“Is it okay if I sit with you for a bit?” Thomas asks me, and I nod wordlessly. “It’s a little cold out here.”

“A bit,” I reply.

“Want my jacket?” he asks me, and this time I turn my head and lock eyes with him. He smirks. “You’re shivering.”

“You know what?” I grin. “I’ll take your jacket.”

He hands it over, and I immediately put it on, wrapping myself in it. “You look good in it.”

“Thanks,” I say softly. “Does that mean I get to keep it?”

“Only if you go on a date with me.”

My stomach clenches in fear. I haven’t gone out on a date in a really long time. I haven’t wanted to. Moving on from Tyler has never been optional.But he didn’t leave his wife.“I’m no fun right now, Thomas,” I say softly. “Kinda crippled.”

“How so?”

“I just had surgery three weeks ago.” I shrug with my good side. “Probably won’t be that amazing at what you’re expecting from me.”

“I think you’d be surprised at how little I’m expecting from you.” I frown at his reply. “Not everything is about sex.”

“Oh?” I chuckle. “Then what is it about?”

Thomas outright laughs at my question, and I smile. His brown eyes twinkle as he looks me over. “I think you’re funny, and I want to laugh with you for a while.”

I nod. “That sounds like fun.” Thomas scoots closer to me with his chair, and I do the same until our shoulders are touching and we’re looking out at the sky together. “No expectations?”

“None.”

“Cool.”

“I see the way Tyler’s looking at you,” he whispers, as if it’s a secret between us, and my stomach drops.

“Huh?” I sputter, feigning confusion.

“He’s jealous,” Thomas tells me with amusement. “I might even say he wants you.”

“Tyler Hayes?” I ask incredulously. Though every fiber of my being remembers his lips against mine, his cock in my mouth. I know he’s seething, and that brings a smile to my face. “There’s no way,” I lie.

“Knock, knock,” Tyler says from the door, coming out to the covered patio. “You got space for one more?”

“Told you.” Thomas pats me on the back and stands. “I’m all done out here, Ty.” The nickname makes my stomach flip because that’s what I call him. “He’s all yours.”

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