Page 64 of Cross My Heart

Just as I walk up to my parents’ headstones, Tyler is standing in front of them waiting for me. In my haste to get here, I didn’t even see his truck, but now as I look back, I realize it’s parked next to mine. Anger flows through my veins as I look at his profile, searching for remorse, but finding none.

“You have some nerve,” I growl, but he doesn’t even move. Doesn’t acknowledge me either. Just stares straight ahead as if I’m not even there. And that pisses me off even more. Maybe I want to fight?—

I bend down next to Tyler, my stitches hurting, but I place the roses on the grass before standing by his side until our shoulders are brushing. His hand seeks mine, my skin tingling as our fingers meet, and I close my eyes and shake my head. He can’t keep doing this—confusing me further. Why is he so adamant about showing me affection now? But even as I take a step to the side, he follows, grabbing my hand.

“I miss them,” he says softly, squeezing my hand. “The holidays aren’t the same without them.”

“I miss them too,” I reply, extricating my hand from his hold. He sucks in a sharp breath at the rejection, and I look away from the headstone. Off into the distance. “Sometimes it doesn’t feel real. That they’re gone. I keep expecting them to call me and ask how my day was. I keep expecting my dad to tell me how proud of me he is for following in his footsteps. But he never?—”

“You know he’s proud of you, Noah,” Tyler interrupts. “He would’ve told you by now if he could’ve.”

I nod, because I do know. But it hurts that he never got to. And it hurts that I never got to hear the words. And right now?

It hurts a little more than usual.

The silence is thick between us, and it’s suffocating. I want to break it, I want to tell him I love him again, but I won’t. He finally said it to me, and I didn’t say it back this time. But I can’t. He needs to understand that it’s too much for me right now. That things between us might never be the same again.

“We should talk,” Tyler says softly, breaking the silence. “I’m so fucking sorry, baby. I need to explain, please.”

I shake my head, “No.”

“So that’s it?” Tyler asks me, his tone exasperated. “We’re just going to pretend now?”

“There’s no need to pretend.” I shrug. “I’ve moved on. You have too.”

Tyler nods slowly. “I told you I’d wait for you.” His voice cracks, and I close my eyes and breathe in deeply. “I promised. And I have waited for you. I’m ready to choose you.”

“Nowyou’re ready to choose me?” I laugh, and he flinches. “Youhurtme.”

“I’m sorry, Noah,” Tyler whispers, turning his body until we’re facing each other. His eyes are red-rimmed and filled with tears, and something cracks in my chest. “I’m so, so sorry for hurting you. I?—”

“Why didn’t you leave her?!” I roar, wrapping a hand around his throat and hauling him closer to me until we’re sharing breath. “Whydidn’tyou?”

Tyler’s face turns red from my hand around his neck, but he doesn’t fight me or panic. He’s the picture of calm, and that pisses me off even more. I want him to feel something. I want him to hurt just like I do.

I shove him back by his neck, and he stumbles, grabbing onto my shoulders until he just walks right back into me and grabs the back of my neck. “Please understand my position, Noah,” he begs. “I had to get everything in order. I thought I had more time.”

I nod. “So six months wasn’t long enough?”

“I thought I had nine!” he yells, his hand tightening around the back of my neck. “I thought I could break Scarlett’s heart on my time, while still doing it before you got home.”

“Congratulations, love,” I say sarcastically. “You still have her heart. Just not mine anymore.”

It’s a lie if there ever was one, and by the narrowed look in his eyes, he knows it too.

“Quit lying to my face, Noah Milner.” A shiver runs down my spine at the use of my full name, and he presses a kiss to my forehead. I nearly melt when his lips linger on my skin, and I have to close my eyes because I’m so fucking close to hauling him into me and claiming his lips with mine even when I know I shouldn’t. “Your heart will always belong to me. I’ve made sure of it.”

“Maybe,” I say. “But it doesn’t mean that I’m just going to hand it over.”

“Forgive me?” Tyler whispers, his lips traveling to my cheek, then the corner of my mouth. “Please, baby, I’ll do anything.”

“Doubtful.”

“I’m still leaving her?—”

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” I snap.

“Please, Noah.”

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