Page 63 of Cross My Heart

I shake my head, huffing. “You can’t be serious.”

“As a heart attack.”

“Please, Noah,” I try again. “Please.”

“Why do you want to go so badly?” He narrows his eyes at me. “Spend time with yourwife.” The word wife is said with disdain. He basically spits it out.

“I want to spend time withyou.”

“She’s going to be jealous,” he says, looking at the stove. “What if she kicks me out because of it?”

I frown. “She’d never do that.”

“Are you sure?”

“Positive,” I growl. “I wouldn’t let her. Besides, I took the day off to spend it with you.”

“Does she know that?” It’s his turn to frown, and I can’t help but notice the crease between his eyebrows, the way his pink, full lips turn down.

“She will.”

“No,” he says with finality, and I stiffen. “I said no.”

“Fine,” I growl, getting up from the couch and heading back toward my bedroom.

“What are you doing?” Noah comes in just as I’m putting my shirt on.

“What does it look like I’m doing?”

“Don’t be a smartass.”

“I’m going with you,” I deadpan. “I’m taking you to see your parents.”

“The fuck you are.”

I walk past him, ready to get out of here. I just wish I knew how to make it better. At the end of the day, I have two missions. Earn Noah’s forgiveness and leave Scarlett. The first one will be the hardest to accomplish.

That much I do know.

Chapter 34

NOAH

My hands shake on the steering wheel as I pull up to the store to get flowers for my parents. I left the house right after Tyler went into his room to get changed. Not that it mattered, I saw as he got into his truck and followed right behind me. I didn’t want him to come with me because I know I’m weak around him, and being around my parents makes it even worse. I don’t think I’ll be able to push him away when he’s being this thoughtful and supportive.

Speaking of being weak, last night when he went to sleep on the couch, I almost made the mistake of leaving my room. I was contemplating going tohim. But of course that was a stupid idea, and I know that now. Hell, I knew it then too. It’s just harder to control myself when he’s in my immediate vicinity. But just thinking of Scarlett and Tyler sharing a room, a bed, makes me feral. I wanted to stake some kind of claim on him, even though I know I have no right to.

Getting out of the truck, I make sure to shut the door softly, so my side doesn’t hurt even more. It’s still early enough in the morning that the store is empty, save for a few elderly who rise with the sun. I grab the flowers quickly and pay for them, then make my way back to my truck. I got white roses for my mom—her favorite. My dad used to get them for her for their wedding anniversary every year, and she always reminded me that she didn’t like the color red.

I smile as I pull out of the parking spot at the store and get back on the road. I miss them so much it physically hurts, the ache throbbing right over my heart. The hardest part of my life right now is not having them to come back to.

The ride is quiet as I sit with my thoughts, and the closer I get to the cemetery, the more my limbs shake. I’m angry—soangry. At myself, my life, and Tyler. Especially the latter.

I should’ve gone to a hotel and stayed in Columbus for the remainder of my convalescent leave rather than coming here. After finding out Tyler didn’t leave her, I’m not even sure why I headed this way. Maybe I’m a masochist. Seeing them together has always brought me pain, but now it’s on another level. Knowing the promises he made and broke makes it so much worse. Or maybe a part of me is still waiting for him to change his mind and fulfill his promise to me—which is the stupidest thing I could even think of doing. He had six months to leave her, and he didn’t. Do I even matter to him? Does he even love me?

I wish he would’ve left her. I wish I could’ve come home to him and him alone. That we’d be together right now, starting over. The beginning of our lives. He’d be my forever, and I would’ve given him anything he’d ever wanted. The whole world at his disposal. He’d be my everything, and I’d be his. But that’s a fairytale, just as always.

Finally, I pull up to the cemetery and park. I open the truck door and jump out with the flowers, my stitches feeling like they’re pulling, and I take a deep breath. They’re dissolvable, but apparently, they’d like to stick around a little longer. Between the surgery and the chest tube, I have a lot of them. It’s no wonder I’m still taking painkillers. I’m almost out though, so here’s to hoping Ibuprofen will help instead.

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