Page 51 of Cross My Heart

Two hours later, we’re standing in front of the white buses. My hands shake as I watch Noah hand over his duffel bags, and when he turns toward me with sad eyes, it’s as if I’ve been kicked in the chest. It hurts so bad. He walks quickly until he’s standing across from me, then cups my cheeks. We stare into each other’s eyes, his searching mine, for what feels like forever. And then he kisses me. Chastely and softly, and I close my eyes to try to make the moment last a little longer.

“Promise you’ll wait for me, Tyler,” he says softly. “Promise you’ll leave her.”

I don’t even hesitate when I say, “Cross my heart.”

Noah smiles and leans in again, giving me one more kiss, then steps back. “This isn’t goodbye,” he says, and my stomach drops. “It’s see you later.”

“See you later, Noah, baby.”

His smile widens, but he turns around and walks away, leaving me behind. He gets on the bus and finds a seat, then waves out the window. I wave back with tears in my eyes, and I tune everyone else out until the buses are gone. And then I just stand there, surrounded by a sea of crying people, feeling lost and alone.

I hope one day he finds me again.

I love you.

I should’ve said it back.

PART 2

DEPLOYMENT

Chapter 26

TYLER

Dear Tyler,

My internet is absolute shit, so I can’t call or Facetime. Once I get more settled in, I’ll hopefully be able to have more contact with you. How are you? How are things at the bar? How are your parents? Scarlett…?

I’m okay.

My days are long, and nights are shorter than I’d like them to be when I work during the day. I’m not getting much sleep as some of the missions are at night and it’s hard for me to sleep during the day. I guess there’s not much going on with me except for work. There’s nothing to do here on my downtime. The camp is small and we sleep in cots in one big tent. Probably will be for the duration of the deployment. My back will probably be broken by the time we’re done here. But I can’t complain much. I have some time to read, and I’ve been doing that.

I miss you so much, Ty.

Oh, and I miss Skittles and M&M’s. Any chance you could send me some?

With love,

Noah.

Ismile as I shut the computer, looking at Scarlett sitting on the couch watchingThe Vampire Diaries. I’ll reply to him later when she’s not home. I don’t want to risk her seeing the emails. And yet she looks right at me as if she can see through me. Through my lies and deception. And she raises one perfectly sculpted eyebrow.

“What are you doing, Ty?” she asks slowly.

“N-nothing,” I stutter.

Fucking hell.

Real smooth, Tyler.

“Can we talk?” Her eyes are pleading, and I narrow mine on hers.

“Sure?”

Saying that things have been rocky between us is the understatement of the year. Ever since I saw Noah off, we’ve been in the fucking trenches. She was beside herself when I made it back home, and just as I expected, it was also the fight of the century. The worst one we’ve ever had. Which I can’t blame her for. I know she knew I cheated. But she never brought it up. I think she’s too scared to face the truth, and honestly so am I.

I’m leaving her.

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