Page 27 of Cross My Heart

I force a smile onto my face and say goodbye to our families, and it only takes a few minutes before everyone is out of the house. Scarlett locks the front door and closes the blinds, then we’re bathed in darkness.

My breaths are loud in the silence, in the darkness, and Scarlett comes to stand by my side and squeezes my hand. She doesn’t say anything at first, she seems to be measuring her words, but then she finally speaks.

“You missed him tonight.”

“I miss him every night,” I reply softly. My first mistake, if the moment of silence that follows is any indication.

“He’ll be okay, you know,” she says slowly. “I know that’s probably what has you feeling so on edge, but he’s going to come home in one piece.”

But how do I tell her that I’m more worried about him coming home tomethan in one piece? That I want him back in my arms? That I know it’s wrong—all fucking wrong—yet I can’t keep myself fromneedingit. That every moment I pretend I’m not in love with him is killing me on the inside? That a dam has burst inside of me and all these feelings have nowhere to go?

“I know.” Is all I say.

Because what else am I supposed to do? Yell at her that I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me anymore? That ever since her birthday party I’ve been more confused than ever? Worse—that ever since the night he confessed his love for me, I don’t know up from down? That I’ve realized I feel the same, and I can’t ignore it anymore? That he’ll never be mine because I can’t lose her too?

I’m all fucked up.

Scarlett grabs my hand and directs me to the couch, where she shoves me until my back hits the throw pillows. She’s rough, and I guess I kind of need it like that right now. I don’t want to think. If I think, this will be over before it even begins. She seems to understand that somehow and is doing everything in her power to gain momentum.

There’s a sliver of moonlight coming in through the blinds, and she drops her dress to the ground. She stands before me in nothing but her thong, and when she carefully lowers it to her ankles, my cock thickens. Shoving my pants down under my ass, I free myself from the confines of my jeans. I close my eyes, grabbing myself and pumping my length until my toes curl. But Scar just straddles me, yanking the strands of hair at the top of my head and rubbing her pussy all over my erection.

“Eyes on me,” she growls. “Tonight is aboutme.”

I bristle.

Because, what the fuck?

What is she trying to tell me with those words? Does she know what I’ve been conflicted about? Does she know I have feelings for him too?

Her dainty hand wraps around my throat and she squeezes once, until I make eye contact with her. Her eyes are dilated from the darkness, and I swallow hard as she grips my cock and directs it to her entrance. My limbs tremble as her tight heat envelops me, and I hiss when I bottom out inside of her.

And then she rides me.

Slowly at first, looking into my eyes the entire time. She’s searching for something. An indication that I don’t love her the way I used to. Or that I loved her at all. Or that I do.

She’s searching for guilt too.

I look away, but not before she nods in understanding.

Her fingers at the top of my head tighten in my hair, and she yanks until our gazes meet once more. It’s painful, but the bite of pain makes my cock harder. I moan, and there’s something akin to victory in her eyes.

She did that.

Scarlett speeds up, bouncing on me harder until my eyes roll to the back of my head.

“Fuck,” I growl. “Scar, yes?—”

“Tell me you love me,” she demands. “Tell me.”

“I love you,” I whisper, pulling her down and burying my face into the crook of her neck. I can smell the strawberry shampoo in her hair, and I close my eyes and inhale deeply, feeling my eyes sting. “So much, babe.”

Biting her neck roughly, her pussy clenches around me, and I see fucking stars. My spine tingles and my balls draw up, and I pull away to take a deep breath so I can last a little longer. But she grinds her pussy harder against me, moaning loudly, and I whimper weakly.

She likes me like this though.

Submissive.

At her mercy.

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