Page 73 of The Duke and the Accidental Bride

“No, Isabella...” Duncan’s grip loosened slightly, and he took a very long, deep breath. Eyes shut, jaw clenched. “I do not mean...” Another breath and his eyes snapped open. Isabella nearly gasped when she looked in them, because the anger she had expected was beaten down by a sense of sorrow that she could not explain. “What am I going to do with you? Withus.”

She leaned back as if he had slapped her. “What does that... I do not understand what you mean.”

He turned on her quickly and grabbed hold of the railing to steady himself. “I know what you wish for. And it would be so easy to do,” he spoke softly. “And you have no idea how much I want to. Or maybe you do,” he chuckled. “That would explain quite a bit.”

She hesitated, not understanding at all what was wrong. “Did I... is something wrong?” She reached to rest a hand on his back, but then withdrew it.

“There’s something wrong with us, Isabella. With me. When you make me angry, when you push me – even when I know you are doing it on purpose. I lose control in ways that I’veneverfelt before. I’m like... I’m like...”

“An animal?” she offered.

He chuckled. “Exactly.”

“Forgive me for saying...” She stepped in beside him. “But what exactly is wrong with that? As you have so obviously noted, I might be the last person who would ever think to complain about that side of you.” She smirked. “Personally, I encourage it.”

“There is more to it than that...” He bit into his lip nervously, debating whether or not he could speak. If this was a week ago, he might not have for they did not have that type of relationship. But the last few days had changed much, and this moment right here was proof of that.

“You remember what I was telling you about Andrea?” he began softly.

Isabella frowned. “I... the woman who you were seeing? The commoner?”

“That’s the one,” he sighed. “I was brief when we spoke of her, mostly because I had done much to forget the true nature of our relationship. One which bore some striking similarities to our own.”

Isabella waited, expecting him to continue. But he was waiting for the question. “Such as...?”

“She frustrated me,” he chuckled softly. “Annoyed me. Angered me. But she did it on purpose, knowing what would happen when I snapped. She enjoyed it. And I...” He shook his head a little too much. “I enjoyed it even more than her.” He looked at her as if he needed Isabella to believe it. “But it was not real and it never could be. Even the child… a part of me was happy when she told me that she was pregnant, because I believed that maybe it would change out relationship. That it would force us to treat one another differently. To be real with one another for a change.”

“But it didn’t?” Isabella finished for him, her voice so soft that she barely heard it.

He nodded his head. “It was foolish of me to think that it would. And when I asked her…” He swallowed. “When I tried to treat her in a manner that she was not accustomed to… she grew bored. So much that she left and slept with another man, the one who killed her. I might not have killed her myself but I am responsible. This person who I am, this monster... it is fun in the short term but it cannot last. It is notreal. Andrea was proof of that.”

“It feels real to me,” Isabella muttered, not sure what to say.

“And then what?” He turned to face her, the darkness shrouding his features. Save for his eyes, through which she could see the struggle which Duncan was desperately fighting. “We are married, Isabella. Whether we like it or not, we are. And as much as I love...” He groaned and shut his eyes for a moment, taking another breath as his hands resisted the urge to snatch her. “As much as I love... that,” he managed. “It is not sustainable. It is certainly not a marriage.”

Isabella was stunned. Partly because she had never expected such reasoning from the duke – a man, of all things. Who would have thought hot sex and little commitment was something he might oppose?

Also... she’d been having the exact same thoughts as him. A marriage that she had no choice but to commit to. One which she was enjoying for reasons that she knew could not last – and would likely end poorly. Hoping for more but crashing and burning pitifully when it was offered.

“It might surprise you to hear but...” She chuckled awkwardly as she rested a hand on Duncan’s forearm. This time, she was the one who gave it a tight squeeze. “I was recently having the exact same thoughts.”

Duncan leaned back. “Truly?”

“Truly...” She grimaced. “But these last few days...” She didn’t want to say it out loud, just in case she had been horribly misreading everything.

“Have been tragic?” the duke offered.

“I was going to say boring,” she laughed. “But no, that’s not it. I have loved getting to know you better. I truly have but...”

“There is something missing,” Duncan offered.

“It has felt that way, yes.”

“What is wrong with us?” Duncan sighed.

“Should we make a list?” Isabella scoffed.

“Isabella...” Duncan took both of Isabella’s hands suddenly and looked down at her. He licked his lips, his eyes flicking every which way with nervous anticipation. “I need you to do something for me.”

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