Page 36 of Protecting Tiffani

“Yes, I also heard their voice. They told me they loved me and to tell you that they were okay and with their papa.” Her hand leaves mine to cradle her head as she sobs harder than before. “I’m sorry…”

“No, Levi. All I’ve asked since I found out what happened was for a sign to let me know they were okay. That they didn’t hate me for what happened.” Pushing away from the table, I pull her chair out and pick her up. She clings to me, sobbing into my shoulder.

“Mom…”

“I’ll be fine, baby boy. I knew your dad was around me. Go take care of her. We’ll talk some more in the morning.” She stands, placing a kiss on Tiffani’s head and my cheek.

Closing my door softly behind us, I lower both of us to my bed. I don’t say anything as I hold Tiffani in my arms and let her cry it all out. I think she might have fallen asleep until her lips press against the side of my neck, making my heart skip a beat. “Thank you,” she mumbles.

“For what?”

“For telling me what you saw and what your dad said. I’m sorry…”

I push my hands under the shirt that she’s wearing, rubbing her bare back. “You have nothing to apologize for, but I do. I left you alone to go through all those emotions by yourself. I should have been here for you. It’s no excuse, but I didn’t know how to make sense of what I was feeling. But Dad was right. I think all we need to do is love each other. If we do that, then we can make it through everything.”

She raises her head from my shoulders and frames my face with her hands, “I’ve always loved you, Levi Dane Hill. Nothing will change that. There is something I should have said to you weeks ago.”

“What’s that, Cupcake?”

“Thank you for protecting me.” She leans down, pushing her soft lips against mine in a kiss that ignites fireworks behind my closed eyes. My hands move from under her shirt to tangle in her hair, pulling her lips harder against mine.

“I will always protect you,” I say against her lips. As her lips open for me, I explore her warm mouth with my tongue. I stop focusing on the decisions I made when I was younger, ones that I thought were weak, but now I see them for what they were all along, protecting everyone I loved. Instead, I focus on what lies ahead for me, the girl in my arms that loves me completely and has never seen me as something to be ashamed of. “I love you too, Tiffani.”

Chapter twenty-one

Levi

I’veneverdrivenasfast as I did after leaving Tennessee. All I could think about was getting home to Tiffani. Holding her in my arms like I am right now. Once again, I’m grateful she didn’t push me away but she’s here listening to me. I don’t know how to tell them what happened in my dream, but she and Mom need to know. Tiffani pulls back out of my embrace to sit down, but she never lets go of my hands.

“Where were you?” she asks. I tell her about everything, the drinking, the self-hatred, and the storm I was in. A storm of my own making but one nonetheless. Once I get to the part of the story of why I’m back, I push away from the table to stand.

“I saw him.” I’m gasping for any air to make its way to my lungs because I’m afraid they will think I’ve gone fucking crazy.

Confusion crosses both of their faces, but it’s Tiffani who speaks up. “Saw who, Levi? You're scaring us. Look at you. You’re shaking like a leaf on a tree. Sit down, calm down.” She reaches out her hand, taking mine in hers, trying to guide me to sit down, but I pull her up, wrapping her up in my arms instead. “God lord Levi, your heart is racing.” My arms pull her deeper into my embrace.

“I saw him,” I repeat but continue this time. “I saw Dad. I think I was asleep, but I swear to god, I saw him. He talked to me and felt as real to me as you do right now, Cupcake. You have to believe me. Mom…” I look at her begging her to believe me.

Her hands are covering her mouth, tears streaking her face. “I believe you, son. How did he look?”

“So good, Mom, he looked so good. He was younger and could move without being in pain.” Pulling Tiffani away from my chest, I grab her face, sealing my lips over hers. It’s a wet kiss due to the tears we both are shedding right now, but the feel of her lips moving with mine feels like I’ve finally made it to the surface after being underwater for so long. It’s a healing balm for all the cracks and cuts in my soul. Breaking the kiss, I lead her back to the table and tell them everything that happened. Tiffani never lets go of my hand, and I’m so thankful for that. We are all crying hard when I get to the end of the story, but I have yet to tell Tiffani what I saw and heard.

I take her face in my hands and look directly into her eyes. “Baby, when he left, there was someone else there. I swear I saw the outline of our child. It looked to be the size of how old the baby would have been now.”

“W-what? Y-you saw our baby?” Her bottom lip trembles as she squeezes my hand hard.

“Yes, I also heard their voice. They told me they loved me and to tell you that they were okay and with their papa.” Her hand leaves mine to cradle her head as she sobs harder than before. “I’m sorry…”

“No, Levi. All I’ve asked since I found out what happened was for a sign to let me know they were okay. That they didn’t hate me for what happened.” Pushing away from the table, I pull her chair out and pick her up. She clings to me, sobbing into my shoulder.

“Mom…”

“I’ll be fine, baby boy. I knew your dad was around me. Go take care of her. We’ll talk some more in the morning.” She stands, placing a kiss on Tiffani’s head and my cheek.

Closing my door softly behind us, I lower both of us to my bed. I don’t say anything as I hold Tiffani in my arms and let her cry it all out. I think she might have fallen asleep until her lips press against the side of my neck, making my heart skip a beat. “Thank you,” she mumbles.

“For what?”

“For telling me what you saw and what your dad said. I’m sorry…”

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