Page 24 of Protecting Tiffani

“You guys weren’t hurt. Were you?”

“No, Mom, we’re fine. Why don’t you put the soup on, and I’ll get Tiffani sorted out.” He grabs my hand, pulling me across the living room toward the hall bathroom. “Oh, is it okay if she stays here tonight? I think we should wait to see if her place has any damage.” We both turn toward her. She is staring at our hands with a smile.

“Of course, she can stay. If your place did get damaged, you are more than welcome to stay here as long as you need to,” she says.

“Thank you, Mrs. Hill.”

“Call me Nana or Mom. Go get clean and warm. I see you shivering from here.” She waves us away, heading into the kitchen.

I follow him into his childhood bedroom. I’ve been here many times over the year and a half we dated. A small laugh falls from me when I take note that nothing has changed since then. He still has the same twin-sized bed, although the cover is a darker shade of blue than before. His dresser, desk, and tv stand are the same, covered in doodles and stickers we spent hours putting there.

“What’s so funny?” His back is to me as he digs through his drawers.

“You have been home for a couple of months now, and you haven’t changed anything. Do you even fit in that bed anymore?” I cover my mouth to hopefully hide what is slowly becoming a full belly laugh.

“There isn’t a point in changing anything when I’m searching for my own place.” He turns around, holding out a pile of clothes toward me. “These should fit. They are from high school, so they shouldn’t be too big on you.”

“Thank you.” Taking the clothes, I leave him behind in search of a much-needed warm shower and some alone time. The warm water feels fantastic on my cold skin and aching muscles. The fact that I still don’t have hot water at the apartment makes me enjoy this much more. I doubt I’ll get the job at Mick’s since Levi kidnapped me on what was supposed to be my first night. I’m back to square one and almost out of time with Parker and Emilee. A knock on the door pulls me from my worrying thoughts.

“Everything okay, sweetie. The soup is done, but don’t rush. I can keep it warm. I just wanted to check on you.” Nana’s voice comes from the hallway.

“I’m getting out now,” I reply, turning the water off reluctantly. I could stay here for hours. If it was a bathtub, I would never leave. Drying off, I step into the sweatpants and t-shirt Levi gave me. They still swallow me, but not as bad as anything he wears now would. I notice they are the senior sweatpants we bought when ordering our class rings. Mine are still at my parent’s house unless they got rid of everything, which I wouldn’t put it past them. The rich aroma of chicken noodle soup makes my mouth water. Nana is the best cook ever, and I miss the nights I would have dinner with them. Bundling up my wet clothes, I carry them out of the bathroom, unsure where I should put them.

“Let me take those. I’ll put them in the washer for you.” Nana rushes forward, grabbing them from me. “Sit, eat. Adam called Levi. Seems there was a family trapped in their basement, and they needed more people to help. He will be back soon.” She leaves me to sit at the table. When the first spoonful of broth hits my taste buds, I can’t contain the moan.

“This is so good. I missed your cooking,” I say.

“You’re welcome at my table any time, Tiffani.” She pulls out the chair across from me, picking up the spoon in the other bowl. “I don’t know what happened between you and my knuckleheaded son, but you are always welcome here. I have missed you.”

Emotions clog my throat at her invitation. She sounds just like Mr. Hill, making the hole left behind when he died grow a little more. “Thank you. How are you doing? I feel horrible not reaching out after…” I swallow another bite of food before continuing, “Mr. Hill’s passing, but I wasn’t sure if it would be acceptable.” The noodles in my bowl become the most fascinating things on earth.

“Tiffani, look at me, please.” I look up to see a look of understanding on her face. “I know he visited you. I drove him there at the end when he couldn’t anymore, but that was his time with you, so I never stayed. He never told me what you two talked about, but those weekly get togethers were the highlight of his week. He loved you as if you were his granddaughter, and I feel the same way about you. I’m only telling you because you look so guilty sitting there, and I want you to know that I know the secret you hide, and it’s okay.”

The sob that comes from me hurts me more emotionally than physically, because she doesn’t know a quarter of the secret I hold, and she can never know. She is around to my side within a second, pulling me into her. “I miss him so much,” I whisper into her chest. “He was the only person I had on my side, or at least that’s what it felt like. There is so much I didn’t get to tell him. So much time I wasted on meaningless things when I could have been telling him how much he meant to me.”

“So do I, but he’s here with us. I always feel him, and I suspect you will too, if you let go of the pain you hold. And Tiffani, he knew how you felt about him, I promise you. He knew. You are not alone. All you have to do is ask, and any of us, Hills and Wests, will be there for you no matter what.” She rubs my back, trying to comfort me, but it makes me hate myself more. Once I calm down, I don’t have much of an appetite anymore, so I excuse myself to go lay down.

“Um, where should I…”

“If you lay down anywhere in this house, Levi will just move you. So you might as well go to his bed, sweetie.” My eyes widened with shock because wouldn’t it be inappropriate to share a bed with him in his parent’s house? Nana laughs when she sees the terrifying look on my face, “Oh sweetie, you’re adults, and I know my son. He isn’t going to let you sleep anywhere but his arms.”

Not turning on the overhead light, I make my way across the room toward his bed. Sleeping in his bed feels right but also wrong at the same time. I want to be in his bed, with him pressed against me but letting him get close to me without telling him about the baby is wrong. We both agreed we needed to talk before anything else happened. Maybe we should talk before we share a bed. Surely his mom was mistaken, and he won’t get pissed if I slept on the couch. I’m just going to grab a pillow and blanket off his bed and go to the sofa. At least I will be able to smell him as I fall asleep.

My foot hits something hard that’s sticking out from under his bed. “Shit.” I cover my mouth quickly, hoping his mom won’t hear me. When Levi got me a change of clothes, I saw a lamp beside his bed. Reaching out, I turn on the light to see the cause of my throbbing toes. Hidden half under the bed is a shoe box. Bending down, I pull it out and sit cross legged on the bed. I shouldn’t open it. That would be invading his privacy and wrong. If someone found the box I kept hidden and looked inside, I would be pissed.

The need to find out what’s in the box outweighs the possible backlash. Slowly I pull the lid off, placing it beside me. Laying on top is a graduation announcement. At first, I think it’s from high school, but the colors are different. It’s an announcement of Levi’s graduation from Air Traffic Controller School in Florida. Beneath that is a couple of awards that he received, I assume when he was in school. Then there are a couple of metals in little boxes. I wonder what he got those for? Under the metals, there is a picture that is face down, when I pick it up, my attention is pulled to the dog tags at the bottom of the box. Putting the picture down on the bed, I pull the necklace out. The chain is made of silver metal with a tiny clasp on it. Two dog tags are hanging off the chain. Moving closer to the lamp, I finally make out the engraving on the metal. His name, social security number, blood type, religion, and USMC are raised off the metal.

Why does he keep all of this hidden under his bed? This needs to be put into a scrapbook or framed on the wall. His time in the military is something to be praised and proud of. Even though I was left heartbroken, there has never been a day that went by that I wasn’t proud of him. I was worried about him, of course. Always worrying if he was safe or not. But staring at all this hidden in a dusty box makes me think he believes differently. The floor outside his bedroom door groans, and I hastily throw everything back in the box and shove it back under the bed. The small opening at the bottom of the door lights up quickly but then goes dark once again. The next second, the shower turns on, and I sigh because I didn’t get caught snooping. If I try to lie on the couch with his mom still awake, she’ll get onto me and send me right back here. I’ll lay down here and wait for her to go to sleep, then go out onto the couch.

The smell of him surrounds me as I pull the cover over me and snuggle deep into his pillow. I quickly slip off, feeling like I’m home after a long day of work.

Chapter fifteen

Levi

WhenAdamcalled,sayingthe volunteer firefighters needed additional people to help a family trapped, I didn’t stop to think. I kissed Mom, asking her to explain to Tiffani, and ran out the door. With my car in someone’s backyard, I had to take Mom’s. By the time I got to town, they had removed most of the debris trapping the family, but another emergency popped up. Hours later, it looked like all the emergencies were taken care of. Cell service in town was nonexistent, so I couldn’t call to check on my girl.

“I’ll see you in the morning?” Adam asked, walking me to the car.

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