Page 2 of Fixing Emilee

“Don’t you see how unfair that was? When I came to live with you six years ago, you judged me, a twelve-year-old girl who had done nothing wrong, on someone else’s action. Since she raised me for twelve years, you just assumed that I would follow the same path she did? If I had a friend, I would end up pregnant at eighteen like she was? That if you allowed me to hang out anywhere, I would what, end up on drugs? Did you ever stop to think that I have dreams and goals? Did you even consider how difficult that was on me for the past six years? I watched what drugs and the constant stream of men did to her and told myself I would never end up like her. I want more than she ever did.”

Placing his hand on my face to get me to stop talking and take a breath, he buts in. “I know that now. If I could go back and change everything, I would. I promise you. I’m so sorry I didn’t see how badly you were hurting, Emilee. I can never express how sorry I am to you. I’m supposed to protect you. Can you forgive me?”

Staring into his eyes, I want to tell him, yes, that not only can I, but I do forgive him, but that’s not the truth. I’m done lying to people, “I don’t know.” With time, I’m sure I can forgive them, but right now, it’s still too raw. “What I do know is. I’m scared. I’m tired of living like this.” I hold my arm up. “But I don’t know how to stop. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to do that.”

“You’re stronger than you know. After all, you’re a Hill, but on the days that you don’t feel strong enough to get through this, lean on me. I know it will take time for you to trust anyone again, but I can and will be your pillar of strength when you need me to be, baby girl.” Hope blooms in my heart for the first time in a long time. It fills my veins and makes me all warm inside.

He stands up and takes a seat on the bed beside me. Pulling me into his side, I lay my head on his chest like I did when I was younger. He continues his excellent speech. “We will figure this all out, I promise you. We’ll get you the help you, no, we need. Things will start to change, baby girl. First, we need to get you some treatment, and then we will go to that shit excuse for a school to make sure what you went through never happens again.”

“We can’t afford the places the doctors have been discussing,” I say. I’ve read the pamphlets left in the room, and the price tag on these places is ridiculous. Money is tight, and my stay here will drain every little bit of their savings. I don’t see how they will be able to afford it all.

“Money will never be an issue for you, don’t worry about it. You mean more than anything else, and we will get you better. This family will get better and be stronger than ever.” Sighing, I snuggle deeper into him, feeling the pull of sleep trying to take me under again. “Can we talk about that young man, Parker?” I hear him ask just as I’m about to fall over the edge of unconsciousness.

Pulling back from him, I stare into his eyes. “No. I never want to talk about him or hear his name again,” I spit out. He doesn’t say anything else to me, just pulls me back in, rubbing my back. Even though I feel like we made a small breakthrough, I can’t help but want to go back to the night before everything got out of control. Back when I thought everything was going to be okay. To when I thoughthewould never do something to hurt me. When there is a knock on the door, Papa gets up to leave the room to talk to whoever is there. I roll over, hugging the pillow, trying to keep the memories out. If only I was strong enough to do that.

* * *

My phone buzzes on the bed, pulling me back from the brink of sleep. It can only be one person, my boyfriend. The fact that Parker is now my boyfriend sends butterflies soaring in my belly.

My Man: Come outside.

I throw off my covers. What the hell is he doing outside my house? Pulling back my blue and black curtains, I see him sitting halfway down the road. He is half hidden in the shadows and half basking in the moonlight.

Me: What the hell Parker?

I text back while pulling on his hoodie. I’ve been wearing it since my first afternoon at his house.

My Man: Just come outside. I want to see you.

A smile forms on my face. Quietly as I can, I take the screen out, slipping out of the window. I’ve done this a million times over the last few months, but tonight feels different. I’m sneaking out to meet someone, and not just someone, but the boy I’m in love with.

Walking down the road, I make sure to keep to the shadows. “What are you doing here?” I ask when I’m close enough to whisper. He looks hot as hell in his black leather jacket, a tight blue t-shirt underneath it, and black jeans. His hair is a mess because he just took off his helmet. Instantly my knees go weak, and the pulse picks up between my legs.

Pulling me into his arms, he leans back on his bike and lowers his lips to mine. We have shared a few kisses, but I still lose my breath whenever he does. Opening my mouth, he slips inside, meeting my tongue with his. I moan and melt into him. Lacing my hands through his long hair, I pull a little on the strands to hear him groan into my mouth. I’m rewarded instantly. Pulling back, I look into his eyes and see nothing but lust and want burning in them. I’m sure he sees the same thing in mine because that’s all I feel coursing through my body.

“Emilee,” my name comes out like a plea. I pull him to a standing position and start walking. I’ve made up my mind to give him all of me tonight. It will be the best birthday present I’ve ever gotten. He says nothing as I lead us up the hill into the cemetery. Yes, losing your virginity in a graveyard is creepy, but it was my safe place until he came along. He has become my safe place. I don’t stop walking until I’m hidden behind the big tree. Pushing him to sit with his back against it. I settle myself in his lap, my chest rubbing against his.

I’ve surprised myself that I’m confident enough to do this, but that’s what he has done to me. He always tells me how beautiful I am, how much he likes me, and how much my body turns him on. He even calls me butterfly. No one has ever given me a cute nickname before. Sitting on his lap, feeling him grow hard beneath me, I’m not even thinking about how heavy I am. I grind down hard against him, needing to soothe the ache he has created.

“Emilee,” he says again, holding my head in his hands. Pulling me in for another kiss, his hands run down my back and rest on my ass. I place my hands around his neck and pull him closer to me. It’s like I can’t get close enough to him. I can feel my panties getting wetter by the second.

Our kiss grows deeper, and soon we are a mess of lips and hands trying to touch any part of the other one we can. My hips start to move on their own, looking for the friction that my body demands. “Emilee, fuck,” he says through gritted teeth, grabbing my hips and helping me grind down on him harder. I need more, though. I need to have him inside me.

“Parker, please. I need you,” I say against his lips.

“Are you sure, Butterfly?” He answers my plea.

“God, yes, I’m sure. I want, no, I need you.”

Leaning up, he removes his leather jacket and places it beside him. Then, he flips me back. I push my hands under his shirt, feeling his stomach muscles jump under my palms. I reach around to his back and rake my nails down, which earns me a groan while his hips shoot forward into my now soaked jeans.

He hooks his fingers under the hoodie and pulls it over my head, leaving me only in a green tank top. “Do you have any idea what seeing you in my clothes does to me?” he asks as he rocks his hips into mine, and I almost come. My nipples strain against the material, wanting some attention. “My god, baby, you are so damn sexy under me,” he says before lowering his mouth over my nipple, sucking, and, in the process, leaving a wet mark on my shirt. I arch my back off the ground, trying to get as much of my body on his as possible.

Pushing my shirt up, my breasts are naked, he keeps up the pleasure he is giving me. He is switching from one to the other. I never thought my first time could be this damn good.

“Parker,” I moan. God, how did this guy get so good at this? “God.” I place my hands into his hair and pull, knowing he loves it. He groans around my wet nipple and lets it go with a pop before he crushes his mouth against mine. I start undoing his belt and working on the button of his jeans.

He stops me and looks me dead in the eyes. I can tell that it’s taking all his self-control to stop us. “One more time, are you sure, baby? We don’t have to do this tonight.”

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