Page 12 of Breaking Emilee

“No, that’s not why I’m here. I mean, yes, we need to discuss the project, but that’s what this afternoon is for. I just wanted to spend some uninterrupted time with you.” I say, making sure I look her in the eyes. I can see how my words affect her. She’s shocked and surprised by them. “Why do you always look so shocked when I say I want to spend time with you?” I can’t help but ask. That gets her to look back down at her lap. Damn it, that’s the first thing that has to stop now. I want her to look at me, not at her lap or the floor. Like yesterday, I place my free hand under her chin and raise it until we are eye to eye again. I can see that the bruise on the side of her face is getting darker, I know that’s how it happens, but it still pisses me off.

“Stop looking at your damn lap and the floor all the fucking time.” it comes out like an order, but I don’t fucking care. I watch as her breath catches in her chest at the tone of my voice. Interesting, that makes me wonder if I’m correct that she’s anything but vanilla in the bedroom. God, I want to find out so bad. Changing the direction of my thoughts to a place that doesn’t make me hard as steel, I ask her, “How did you sleep?” I don’t move my hand off hers. Instead, I slip my palm under hers, linking our fingers together. I can get used to having her hand in mine. Shock, nervousness, and then something that looks like hope flashes in her eyes. She has yet to lock her fingers with mine, but when she finally looks down and does just that, my heart takes off, and something that feels like butterflies settle in my stomach. It’s a small victory for me.

“Good,” she says, looking back into my eyes with a small smile.

Leaning back and pulling our hands till they lay on my leg, “Can I ask you a question?” I say while starting to rub circles over her knuckles with my thumb. I don’t want to talk about serious stuff, but I can’t ignore the comment about the girlfriend anymore. She just nods her head, not answering me. “Where did you get the idea that I’m dating someone?” I watch her eyes because they always give her away when she tries to lie.

“I heard that you had one,” she says honestly.

“Heard?” I raise my eyebrows, questioning her.

“Well, someone told me you did”What the fuck.

“Who?” I spit out. This time, I see her hesitate, deciding if she should lie. Leaning forward, I invade her personal bubble.

“It doesn’t matter who told me, but they said you’re dating Vanessa,” she whispers. I’m glad I leaned forward, or else I would have missed it. She’s wrong. It does matter who told her, and I have a feeling I know who it was. Vanessa.

“I am not dating her. I’m not dating anyone,” I growl out. I need to talk with my aunt sooner rather than later, damn it.

“Okay,” she says while leaning back away from me. Since time is running out, and we will soon have to leave, I suggest playing twenty questions. All the questions are easy, fun ones like our favorite color, favorite movies, and even things we dislike. I sit here with her as the next ten minutes fly by, learning everything I can. We find out that we have a lot in common the only thing we disagree on is movies. I’m an action guy, and she loves horror movies.

Yes, I want to ask about the paper on her locker, the bruises, and why she hides away, but I know she’ll crawl back inside herself if I push her. I can see that she actually relaxes with me. Her shoulders seem lighter the longer we talk. When she really smiles at me, I think my heart is going to burst out of my chest. She looks carefree and even more beautiful, making me feel warm inside. It’s like her smile is my personal sun. I want to see more of this side of her. So, therefore, the tough questions can wait a little longer but not too long.

I’m disappointed when the bell rings, signaling the end of our hiding out. I want more time. Sighing, I stand up and pull her with me. When she’s standing fully up, she pulls her hand from mine. The cold air stings my palm, and I instantly feel like I lost something, but when I reach back out for it, she looks scared, so I let it go.

“Thank you,” she whispers, stepping around me and heading toward the door. I fall in line behind her, dreading going out in the hallway where I fear she will pull further away from me. We aren’t even a foot out of the library door when we pass by Vanessa and Christian. I’m right behind Emilee, so I notice that she trips on something right as she passes Christian, but the feeling of a hand on my arm draws my attention away.

“Where were you this morning? I missed you, sweetie.” Vanessa purrs while stroking my arm. In the second, it takes me to look at Vanessa. Emilee’s gone. I search through all the faces but can’t see her.Damn it.I know I should keep my mouth shut, but I’m at my breaking point with Vanessa. I stop looking for Em and turn all my attention to the girl who will not quit.

Leaning in and lowering my voice so only she can hear what is about to come out of my mouth, I whisper, “I don’t know why you are spreading rumors that you are with me, but you need to stop. I am not with you, and I never will be.”

I do not regret saying that for one second, not even when I hear her say, “You will pay for this, Parker.” I need to find the girl that I do want to be with. As soon as I walk into English class, I sigh with relief because she’s sitting at our table, but that relief is short-lived. She sits with her hood up and doesn’t even look up at me when I sit beside her. How is it that all my hard work this morning to get her to relax with me is gone?

Scooting my chair closer, I lean toward her to whisper. “It isn’t like that, Butterfly. I told her to stop spreading lies. I promise you, baby, I am not with her. I don’t…” My voice catches in my throat when she turns her head toward me. That’s when I see unshed tears in her beautiful eyes.

It feels like someone twice my size hit me in my stomach, knocking all the air from me and making me feel like I’m going to throw up. “Don’t worry about it,” she says, sounding so hurt. What did I do? I don’t have time to ask her what I did wrong because the second bell rings, and class starts. Sitting back, I don’t move my chair away from her and intentionally spread my legs out, so my thigh rests against her. This is far from over. She will let me explain one way or another. I will find out why she looks hurt and how I can make sure to never see that again.

CHAPTEREIGHT

I never expected to find Parker sitting in the library this morning waiting on me, but I told myself all the way to school that I was doing this. I even straightened my hair and wore my best jeans today. I didn’t sleep well at all, but if I was going to see and spend time with Parker, I wanted to look good. The hope I felt was quickly squashed when I looked down and saw that he had a list of books on his lap. I kicked myself for thinking he wanted to spend time with me, but he quickly set me straight. I can still feel his hand in mine, its warmth spreading to the rest of my body. I wanted to continue to hold his hand while we walked to class, but I knew that I couldn’t.

Good thing I didn’t because Vanessa was there as soon as we left. When I hear what she says to him, I hurry away because my brain is still so fucked up that I’m second-guessing everything. When he said that, he told her to stop lying; I nearly had a heart attack. What has he done? Fuck I know that even though he did that without me telling him to do it, I’ll get punished. God damn it!

I have had three hours to get my mind around everything that went on this morning, but I can’t. Hell, I haven’t even entirely accepted that I broke my grandparents’ rule less than twelve hours ago. I went behind their back, and it was terrifying, but I felt a little stronger. I want to talk to them about their strict rules, to find out why I have them, and see if I can find out why they mistreat me, but I’m so scared too. I don't want to do anything before my eighteenth birthday this coming Tuesday. The day after our project is due. It terrifies me to think about it, even starting a conversation because if it goes wrong and they decide to kick me out, I’ll have nowhere to go.

Even though I have started to try to do things just for me in the last twenty-four hours, I’m second-guessing myself at every turn. I’m terrified about my feelings for Parker and my desire to talk to my grandparents, but what scares me the most is that I’m doing the one thing Vanessa has told me not to do. I’m not backing away from him but running toward him. Is the feeling I have for him worth all the pain that is, without a doubt, coming my way? That’s the real question I need to answer first. The second one is, what if they start messing with him? I know it’s stupid, but I can handle a couple more months of their shit. But Parker, is he strong enough to handle that? Yes. Would he think I’m worth it if they did start on him? Probably not.

Pulling the doors open to the library because I’m not strong enough to face the café just yet, I greet the sweet librarian, Mrs. Moore. “Hey, Emilee. Enjoy your lunch, sweetie.” She says as I head back to the small table, I always sit at. I don’t feel like reading today, so instead, I pull out my math notebook wanting to make sure that my sleep-deprived brain got everything correct. I lied to Parker when he asked me how I slept last night. I only got about an hour and fifteen minutes of sleep. I set my alarm for five, which gave me enough time to make sure that dinner was started for tonight. When I get home this afternoon, all I need to do is make rice to go with the chicken in the slow cooker. I can do this a couple of times. I’m sure my “friendship” with Parker will be finished when this project is done. Rubbing the ache in my chest at the thought of that, I pick up my sandwich taking my first bite. Why does the idea of him being done with me make me sad?

As I swallow my first bite, I hear the chair being pulled out across the table. I freeze for just a second until Parker’s smell reaches my nose. Why is he here eating lunch with me, and how did he know where I am? “What are you doing?” I question, not looking up from my notebook since I know who it is.

He sits his bag on the table before me as he lowers himself into the chair. He chuckles before he answers me, “Eating lunch that’s what we do at this point in the day, right?” I can’t help the giggle that comes out

“Smartass, I mean, why are you eating your lunch here, and how did you find me anyways?” Fuck I need to find a filter for my mouth. When I’m around him, I say shit without even thinking. I always tell him the truth if I don’t stop and think before speaking.

Finally glancing up to look at him, I can see he’s looking at me the same way he did this morning when I told him I heard he had a girlfriend. His brows are raised, and he seems like he doesn’t understand what I’m saying. I cross my arms and lean back, hoping the look I’m giving him says Well, answer me. He just shrugs his shoulders like it isn’t a big deal. “You never eat in the café. You were here this morning, so I just took a chance.” I’m frozen. I can’t speak or move, and hell, I have no thoughts running through my mind.

My brain starts working again as soon as he takes a bite of his burger. What the fuck? If it’s that easy for him to figure out where I’m at, can Vanessa and Christian? My brain starts working through the possibility of that happening, but it short circuits again as my eyes take him in. My body comes alive with how his lips wrap around one of his fingers to lick the juices off them. Holy fuck, that’s hot. I squeeze my thighs together, trying to help with the ache that pulses in rhythm with my heart. What I wouldn’t do to have his lips and tongue on me! Whoa, girl, calm the fuck down.

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