Page 8 of Breaking Emilee

“I know if you agree, you or Nana will need to meet his mom. If you need to meet her before you even give me your final decision, I can ask him if it would be possible for you to meet tomorrow.” I say, finally looking at him, but he’s just eating like everyone else. Acting like I’m not even here talking to him. I don’t want to push him because I know that will just piss him or Nana off again. I really don’t want to be yelled at or slapped again. “May I be excused, ma’am?” I ask because I don’t have an appetite anymore. I don’t even get an answer, just a nod.

Standing up, I take my almost full plate to the kitchen, put the food into a container, and clean up. What will Parker think when I tell him tomorrow that I can’t work with him? Can I explain this to my teacher in a way that my grade won’t drop? God, I’m so fucking pathetic worrying about what Parker will think. I don’t even know if he’s being nice because he wants to or because someone is controlling him. I can’t keep this up. I’m so lonely and just plain fucking over life. I want someone in my corner, but no one ever will be. That thought depresses me even more. Maybe it’s time for me to stop hanging on and thinking things will change.

I’m so lost in my thoughts that I jump when my Papa finally speaks up. All the anger is gone from his voice as he says, “I don’t think I’ll have time to meet anyone in the next couple of days because we’re falling behind on this job.” I know that he’s really busy with his company and getting older. He’s seventy-one and still works his hands to the bones to provide for everyone. I’m grateful for all his hard work, but I’m tired of the strict rules and being ignored. I try not to allow myself to hope that this is the start of something new.

“Will it be possible for you to speak with her over the phone since the project is due so soon?” I ask, going back to washing the dishes.

He wipes his mouth and sits his fork down on his empty plate, taking a minute to think. “That will have to work, Emilee, but if I say yes, you have to make sure that nothing falls by the wayside here. You know that your duties to the family come first. If this project takes anything away, you will have to complete it at school instead. And if I find out you are lying or doing anything to disgrace our name, you will never leave this house again.” He commands.

“Yes, sir, I promise I won’t disappoint you.” I’ll give it my all to not disappoint him. I feel like if I just try my hardest and am absolutely perfect, they will stop being so hard on me. He says nothing else while I clear the table and ensure the kitchen is sparkling.

* * *

Picking up the house phone, I dig the number Parker gave me out of my pocket and call it. It rings three times, and I almost hang up, thinking that he isn’t going to answer. Just as I’m about to hit the button to hang up, the ringing is replaced with music as he picks up.

“Hello,” Parker’s gruff voice comes through the speakers. Instantly my body starts to heat up and gets this warm feeling all over. I keep telling myself that he isn’t mine and never will be, but my heart won’t listen. She wants him.

“Hey, it’s Emilee. Did I call you at a bad time?” It sounds like he’s at a party.

“No, hold on.” It sounds like he places his hand over the mic because his following words are muffled. “Will you guys turn the music down and shut the fuck up for two seconds, please” I can’t hear the voices, but it sounds like multiple people talking at once. Then a voice comes through loud and clear, Vanessas.

“Who is it, baby?” My body feels like I was just plunged into the coldest water imaginable. I stop dead in my tracks as my pulse speeds up. She will surely do something if she finds out I’m calling him.I can’t do this!I need to get off the phone and get the fuck out of this project. I should have known when he said he wasn’t going anywhere; it was all a trap. Everyone in that school knows they torment me, so he must know, but he still chooses to have her over.

“Never mind, I knew I shouldn’t be doing this. I’ve got to go,” I ramble because I’m starting to feel very foolish.

“Emilee, stop. I gave you my number because I wanted you to call. So, what’s up?”

“You have company. It’s about the project, but it can wait till tomorrow, Parker.” I don’t understand him, and I just want off the phone.

“No, tell me now,” he fucking demands. Fuck it.

I take a deep breath, even more nervous than when I asked my grandfather for permission. I know what to expect from my family but have no idea if he’ll run back and gossip with her. My need for a good grade wins out over my nerves. “Here’s the deal I’m being raised by my grandparents. They do things old school, and my Papa has to meet your mom before I can come to your house. However, he’s busy working this week and won’t have time, so he suggested they talk and discuss things over the phone. I know that this isn’t normal….” I stop talking because he starts laughing.

Shit, I knew right then that this was a mistake, and I fucked up. Parker is just like them, laughing at me over something I can’t change. My legs feel like they won’t hold me up for another second, so I pull out a chair and sit at the kitchen table. I can’t lie to myself. It sparked hope in me when he said he wasn’t going away. I never wanted to let go when he grabbed my hand, pulling me into the library. His reaction to the picture put on my locker, and the bruises on my face made me believe he was being serious. But here he is dating the person who put them there. Not only that, but he is now joining in, laughing and making fun of me.

Defeated, I whisper, “You know, never mind, Parker, I don’t know what I’m thinking. I’ll just do the assignment and put your name on it,” I say without stopping and hitting the end button on the phone. Who am I kidding? I’m not the girl who gets to hang out and be friends with the hot new guy.

Standing up, I head into the living room to explain that I’ll be doing the project alone and to hang the phone up. I don’t understand why I keep doing this to myself. I only get two steps away from the table when the phone rings in my hand. It scares me so bad I almost drop the damn thing. “Hello,” I answer, not bothering to look at the caller ID. There’s no way Parker would call back right after laughing at me.

“Emilee, why the hell did you hang up on me?” I can tell he’s pissed, which confuses me even fucking more.

“Does it matter, Parker? I told you…”

“Yes, it does fucking matter. So, answer the damn question.”

“No,” I sigh because I’m over this.

“Yes,” he demands, and I give in to him because I’m exhausted mentally and physically.

“Fine, you want to know. I don’t trust you.” I want to say more, but I stop myself because I can’t tell him why I don’t. So, I settle on saying the only thing I can think of, “Plus, your girlfriend will not like you talking to me.” I can practically hear his sigh through the phone.

“You can trust me, Emilee, and I don’t have a girlfriend. I told you I’m not going anywhere, and I mean that.”

“Then why did you laugh at me?” I slap a hand over my mouth. I can’t believe I asked that.

“I wasn’t laughing at you to be mean. I think it’s cute how you ramble when you’re nervous.” I can hear the frustration in his voice. Can that really be all it is?

“Oh,” I say. My face starts to heat up as a blush spreads to my face.

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