Page 6 of Breaking Emilee

My whole body freezes, and I quickly turn my head to the left, only to meet the crazy gorgeous blue eyes that have haunted me for eight days. Taking in a breath, I can smell him. Howthe fuck have I not noticed that until now?“You know it’s kind of rude to listen to music when someone is trying to talk to you,” Parker says while reaching around to pull the other earbud out. What the fuck is he doing, and why can’t I get my brain to work to tell him to stop touching my stuff?

“S-s-sorry,” I stutter and mentally slap myself for it. I take a deep breath and try again. “Sorry, I’m not used to people wanting to talk to me,” I state truthfully. My whole body starts to tremble from what, I’m not sure.

“Well, that’s their loss. I want to talk to you.” It takes me a minute to understand what he is saying. He wants to talk to me. Why? What’s in it for him?

“Why?” I can’t help myself. Not only is my brain not working, but my mouth has decided to have a mind of its own. I can feel a blush moving up my neck to my face, and I quickly look away. As I do, I notice his jaw tense at my question.

“Why wouldn’t I want to? I have been trying to for over a week, but I can’t find you before class or at lunch. And during class, you won’t look at me, plus we don’t really have the time to talk. At the end, you run out of the room like your ass is on fire.”

Before I can even reply or wrap my mind around the fact that he’s sitting here in my safe place, talking to me, I hear the buzz of a phone. Parker leans back and pulls his phone from his pocket, and even though I know that I shouldn’t look, I glance down at his screen. When I see the name of the person who texted him, I remember exactly who I am and my place in all of this. He isn’t mine, and he never will be. He’s hers, Vanessa’s. Because of that, I’m sure that anything and everything he does is on her demand. I have to be careful around him and not let my guard down.

I have yet to write more than four sentences, but I don’t care. I cannot stay here anymore. I hit the print button, closing out the different windows I have open. Standing up, I put my earphones back in my ears and grab my bag. “Emilee,” he starts to reach out to me.

“Please don’t,” I whisper. I don’t know why my emotions are trying to betray me. I shouldn’t be on the verge of tears over Vanessa texting him, but I am. I don’t know when I allowed hope to infiltrate my heart, but there it is. Stupid me. I squeeze my hands into a ball so hard I feel my nails break my skin. I’m a nobody but damn it, I want to be something to someone.

I walk up to the desk on shaky legs and pay the librarian for my paper. I practically rip it from her hands and rush out of the door heading straight for the teacher’s bathroom. It’s a single, and students aren’t supposed to use it, but I’ve been using it for months. Shutting the door, I sit on the toilet and try to work through my feelings. Especially why do I get all warm and fuzzy when he says he wants to talk to me? When the bell rings, I stand up, splash water on my face, and step out into the hallway. I have to squash this hope in my chest and remember that I’m not special and never will be.

CHAPTERFIVE

Watching Emilee put her headphones back in and walk away from me hurts more than if someone else walked away. Why did it hurt me so much? Why is this girl the only thing I can think about? We only share one class together. Other than that, I haven’t seen her around. I’ve looked for her these past few days. But she’s nowhere to be found, not in the halls or the café. I could ask the other students about her, but I refuse to. I don’t want to make any new friends, but more than that, I don’t want to draw more attention to her than she already has. Thursday, I noticed a guy walking down the hall with a jacket on that had her last name on it, Hill, but I’m unsure if they are related. So, I didn’t take the chance and let him continue walking.

To my dismay, I have somehow found myself eating lunch with Vanessa and Christian every day. Vanessa fucking told Luna how I was eating alone at lunch and not making friends after my first day here. Luna, of course, being the amazing person she is, got worried about me. The fact that I’ll do anything for her will be the death of me. Hence why I’m forcing myself to be around the two people, I can’t stand. I spent the weekend trying to figure out how to deal with Vanessa and my ever-growing feelings for Emilee.

Now it’s Tuesday, and as I walk down the hall by the library. My attention is instantly drawn to the windows lining the right wall. Emilee is sitting with her back toward them, working on the computer. My legs start moving on their own without my brain telling them to do so. The next thing I know, I’m pulling open the door and stepping into the quiet only a library has. I don’t need to use the computers and am sure as hell not going to check out a book. I just want to talk to her, to be around her. I want it more than anything else.

“Good morning, young man,” the little librarian says, scaring the shit out of me. She must notice where I’m looking because she’s picking up a pen and holding it out for me to take. “To use the computer, you need to sign this sheet right here.” While I sign my name, I notice that Emilee is putting her earphones into her ears. I finish signing my name and continue walking until I’m standing beside her. As I pull out the chair to her left, I can tell she hasn’t noticed me and is deep in her own world. Her eyes are on the screen, but they are not moving, letting on to the fact she is mentally somewhere else.

I take her lack of attention to my advantage and look at her, her body, and her face. I can see dark circles under her eyes, like she hasn’t slept well in days. Her clothes hide her body well, but I have a great imagination. I can tell she has full breasts, a soft belly, thick thighs, and a killer ass. To some, her being a thicker girl may be a turnoff, but not me. My dick really likes how she looks and how sweet she smells. I want to feel all her softness under me, over me, and definitely around me as I’m deep in her. My dirty thoughts are cut short when she shakes her head as if trying to rid her mind of something, and I get hit with the smell that is uniquely her. I bite back, a groan threatening to come out. I’m sure she’s about to look over at me, but she never does. Why is this girl so scared? Someone has really hurt her, and I want to murder whoever the fuck that is.

My next move surprises her and shocks the shit out of me. I reach up and take her earphone out of her ear. I probably shouldn’t have, but I want her to look at me. I don’t expect her to question why I want to talk to her. Who does that? How can I explain to her all the messed-up thoughts in my head right now? I watch as she starts to say something to me, but my phone buzzes in my pocket before she has a chance. Fucking great, I think as I pull it out of my pants which are way too tight at the moment thanks to this confusing girl in front of me. Vanessa, fuck me. I shake my head, not reading the message, and turn my attention back to the girl I actually want to talk to. I can tell she has seen the message because I see the walls going back up as she shuts me out.

The only time I got the courage to ask about Emilee, Christian and Vanessa told me she was a nobody, and I shouldn’t waste my time on someone as low as her. That statement only fuels my need to talk to her and find out why someone who seems so innocent is getting shit on. Before I can say anything to her, she’s up out of her chair, heading toward the door. When I call her name, the look in her eyes is enough to silence me. Pain is all that I can see. She basically begs me not to try to stop her, so I go against everything I want to do and let her go. Once she is out the door, I finally open the message that ruined my morning.

Vanessa: Where are you? We saw your bike in the parking lot, but you’re not at your locker like normal.

Damn it, I didn’t have much patience for her to begin with, but now I have zero. I wish I could go back and change the fact that I made that damn promise, a promise that is getting harder to keep. However, the more Vanessa pushes me, flirting with me through text messages and in person, the more I want to throw up. I haven’t given her any reason to think I want anything romantically with her. But that hasn’t stopped her, or even Christian, for that matter. I only have four classes during the day here, then I go to a town over to finish the school day. It’s called Vo-tech, and it’s the only way I can have a mechanic class. Because of this, I don’t get the entire thirty minutes for lunch like the rest of the students. I have to scarf my food down in fifteen minutes. During that time, I barely speak to either of them.

Sighing, I stand up, grab my bag, and head for the same door that Emilee just ran through. I know she won’t be at the lockers because she never is, but I’m determined to talk to her before the end of the day. I’ve found a couple of guys from class that I get along with. We’ve started hanging out after school. Even when I’m there and doing the one thing that calms me down, my mind still returns to Emilee. I want to know everything about her, from the most minor fact to her deepest secrets. It blows my mind. I can’t help but wonder if I spend some time away from her if I’ll be able to get a handle on everything. It’s worth a shot because I feel like I’m going insane pining for a girl who won’t give me the time of day.

Rounding the corner, I pull out my phone and text my best friend from back home, Zak, to see if he is busy this weekend. While I have my phone out, I send a message to Luna to see if she would be okay with me heading there Friday. I know she will let me as long as my chores are done. The first bell rings just as I approach my locker, and I breathe a sigh of relief, knowing my time in the hall is limited. I see Vanessa and Christian push off the wall, and as we pass each other, she rubs her hand up my arm. I hold back the shiver coursing through me because just that small interaction makes my skin crawl. She has to lean back when she stops in front of me because she only comes to my shoulder. “I told my mom I was going to your house after school. Luna said you would give me a ride,” she fucking purrs.What the fuck? There is no way that I’m letting her on my bike with her arms wrapped around me.

“I can’t today. I have to take the bike to class. I’m working on it with some guys from shop class.” I say, trying to sidestep her. Of course, she steps with me continuing to block my path. We’ll be late to class if she doesn’t move her ass out of my way.

“You can pick me up after class,” is all she says, then she walks around me and is gone.

Stopping in front of my locker because I need to get my book for class. My eyes snap to the one beside mine, Emilee’s. My ears get hot, my jaw tenses, and my blood pressure rises. Taped to her locker is a picture of her sitting on the ground. She’s holding her wrist in her hand like it’s hurt. I can make out the grocery store in the background. There’s something written on a post-it note stuck to it.

I thought about sending this to the news, so they know what caused the earthquake this weekend, lard ass. Remember what I said back the fuck up.

My hand shoots out to rip it off, but a hand flies right past mine and pulls the picture down first. Turning around, I’m met with milk chocolate eyes swimming in tears. She doesn’t say anything, just shoves it in her pocket and heads into class.

My breath comes out fast and hard through my nose, making my head spin. How can someone be so damn cruel to her but more importantly, why isn’t anyone saying something? Someone must have seen it tapped up there. There is no way they didn’t. I turn and follow her into the classroom without bothering with my book. She’s already at the table by the time I get in there, pulling out her notebook. Sitting down, I hold out my hand to her. She looks at it like it’s going to bite her.

When she doesn’t do what I want, I grind my back teeth and spit out, “Give me the damn picture Emilee.” No emotions show as she throws a “no” in my face.Fuck this.Leaning forward, I’m in her face; I try again, “God damn it, give it to me now.” She can tell I’m not playing around because she slowly pulls it from her pocket and places it in my hand.

She looks back at the table and starts messing with the cuff of her hoodie. I lean over and place my fingers on the underside of her chin, raising her head, so she’s looking me in the eyes. Ignoring the way my body starts to hum when I touch her, I take the paper and tear it into millions of little pieces. I place them in a pile on the table and forcefully push them off. They float up and then settle on the floor in front of us. I should care about making a mess, but I fucking don’t.

“No one should be making you feel bad and doing shit like this to you,” rage laces my voice as I try to keep it steady. I’m so pissed I can beat the ever-loving shit out of the person when I find out who it is because it isn’t an if; I will find out. I have a terrible feeling that I know who is doing it to her, but I can’t say anything till I know a hundred percent.

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