Page 36 of Breaking Emilee

It was by far easier than we thought.

We killed our presentation.

No one caused us any problems.

We had hope.

It felt perfect.

It made us believe that happily ever after did exist.

Forever started now.

When the sun went down it ended with an explosive meeting of not only bodies but hearts as well.

But

Monday.

A storm was brewing and we were in the calm before it hit.

Is the friend that wore a mask and talked behind your back.

Is the day that we would want back but couldn’t get for a while.

CHAPTERTWENTY-TWO

After turning off my alarm clock, I lay in bed for a couple more minutes. I had the perfect day yesterday, and last night was the perfect way to start my birthday. “Happy birthday Emilee," I whisper into the darkness. I wonder how today will go; it wasn't so bad last year. I got flowers delivered to the school from my grandparents, Christian bought me a cute necklace, and he spent the whole afternoon with me. I haven't even told my guy that it’s my birthday today. I don't know why but I just hoped he would figure it out. I pull my phone out from under my pillow, thinking about telling him when I see I already have a message.

My man: Hey Butterfly, I just wanted to let you know that I won't be in English because I have a doctor's appointment. Sit with me in the cafe for lunch.

My heart aches a little because I won't see him this morning. Our time at school is already limited, and today it will be nonexistent. Since he moved here, I’ve only had to spend one day alone, and I hated that day, but today’s my birthday, and I don't want to dwell on anything that will make me sad. But what I can't ignore is the question he asked about eating in the café. It makes me very nervous. I trust that he will keep me safe, and I want everyone to know that I'm his, but that doesn't mean I'm not scared. He wanted to eat in there yesterday, but I just couldn't do it. He didn't push me on it. I know he will not push me again if I say no today. I have to face this fear and do it for him.

Me: Are you sure you want to eat in the cafe?

I reply, but he doesn't respond to me. That becomes a pattern this morning. No one speaks to me at the house. Did they forget what today is? Seriously Papa, Adam, and Nana left the house without a word to me. Levi ate breakfast and rode the bus with me but never spoke a word. Since Levi came into my room on Sunday night, everything felt weird with him, but I was sure he would at least acknowledge my day. Heading into the school, I go straight to the library like normal because Parker isn't here. I stay there way past the first bell, and right as I step foot in class, the tardy bell rings. I know I'm pushing it and could have gotten in trouble, but I don't want to risk running into them. I keep staring at the clock in every class, hoping the minutes will go by faster so I can see him.

I have a horrible feeling in my gut all day, but I push it aside, trying not to worry. I figure it’s just because my family forgot my birthday. The bell rings to signal the end of fourth hour and the beginning of lunch. I try once again to calm the nerves coursing through me and to push that nagging feeling of something bad coming away. For the first time in months, I'm willing to go into the cafe to eat there, and I know they will have something to say. It has been quiet from them since Sunday. They haven't been hanging out in the hallway like they tend to do. Every time I opened my locker yesterday and today, I waited to see something, but there was never anything extra just the items I put there. I haven't even seen them at school, which I'm thankful for but also worries me. I keep repeating that he wants you, and everything will be fine as I make my way toward Parker. I'm trying hard to be confident, which is all because of him. I'm falling in love with him, and I think he feels the same.

The huge knot in the pit of my stomach and the voice in my head telling me something is wrong won't shut up. Normally I’d listen to this voice but not today. "Shut up," I say out loud, thankful that no one is around. "For once, my life is going uphill and not down. My life is nowhere near great right now, but it's okay, and I'm going to enjoy being with the one person who makes me smile." I continue to talk aloud like an idiot. I know that I’ll start feeling better once I see him. The knot will go away, the voice will stop, my worry will disappear, and the hurt from my birthday going unnoticed by my family will leave me. It always does. When I'm having a horrible day, all he has to do is say hi to me, and everything will melt away. He is my safe space, and I love that.

I'm pretty sure I'm the last to walk into the cafe, but I don't let that bother me. I hold my head high to try to hide the nerves and be strong. As I open the door, a couple of things catch my attention, the first being that the walls that make up the room are covered in multi-colored papers with stuff printed on them. I can see a couple of teachers taking them down, picking them up, and taking them away from students. The second one takes precedence over the first one, Vanessa with her hands wrapped around Parker's neck and her lips pressed to his. All that confidence I had just a second ago disappears, and in its place is so much hurt. I'm not sure I will ever come back from that sight. It feels like all the air is sucked out of the room. The knot grows triple the size, and that voice screams at me, "I fucking told you."

This can't be happening.

He can't have played me.

I'm a fucking fool.

How could I be so stupid?

How could he be doing this to me in front of everyone?

He made me believe all his lies, he needs an award for best actor.

He knows how badly they treat me, yet he’s with her wrapped around him. He told me plenty of times how much he wanted me. He said I'm his now and would protect me, but that isn't true. He’s destroying me. I want to yell or hit him, but when I open my mouth, nothing comes out but a strangled sob. It feels like a black hole has opened where my heart is. I'm literally in so much pain that I bend over, wrapping my arms around my middle like that will help me not break completely. I want to run away. I try to tell my legs to move, I try to tell my back to straighten up, but nothing listens to me. I can't move an inch from this spot. I'm embarrassed because everyone is getting a front-row seat to my world crumbling. How much worse can today get? That question is answered as Christian comes up and shoves a piece of green paper under my head that’s still in my chest. Pulling my eyes from the floor, I focus on the paper as my legs give out, and I sink to the floor on my knees. I pick up the paper that floated to the floor with me; that black hole just gets bigger. If someone were to cut me open, my heart would no longer be there.

Printed on the colorful paper are all the text messages I sent Parker over Friday and Saturday. Along with messages between him, Vanessa, and Christian. I stop reading them when I see the words, "make her fall in love, then shatter her." How could I have been so stupid to put my trust in him? My head was right the whole time he was playing me, and I fell for him like a fool. Looking up from the paper, I have to blink a few times to see clearly as tears flow freely from my eyes. There are people around who are pointing and laughing at me. Like this is a damn comedy show on their tv. I'm still kneeling on the ground when Christian squats in front of me, grabs my arms, and pulls up my sleeves so everyone can see the scars. How can Parker choose them over me? Why am I not good enough for him? How can he be okay with all of this? "Game over," Christian whispers.

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