Page 60 of Imperfect Desires

But then his hand drops back to his side.

“This changes everything,” Viktor says quietly.

His gaze sharpens one last time before he turns away.

“Pack your things,” Viktor says coldly. “You’ll leave for Russia after the Cartel’s visit.”

My chest tightens painfully.

“Viktor—”

“This conversation is over.”

He strides toward the door, his back straight, his movements cold and precise.

I feel the weight of his decision crushing me as the door shuts behind him.

My hand slides protectively over my stomach. My chest trembles with the weight of everything I can’t say.

This truly changes everything. And I don’t know if I’ll survive it.

20

Lev

The air is cold, crisp, and sharp enough to cut through the thick flannel of my jacket as I step out onto the wooden deck of the hunting cabin. My breath fogs the air, curling in soft tendrils before fading into the early morning mist. Beyond the deck, the dense Maine forest stretches for miles—dark pines and barren branches clawing toward a pale gray sky. The only sound is the distant rustle of wind through the trees and the soft crunch of frost beneath my boots.

I bought this place years ago. Secluded. Remote. Tucked into the wild heart of Maine’s hunting grounds. A place to disappear. A place to breathe. When I’m not hunting down men for the Bratva, I hunt animals out here — deer, moose, bear — the closest thing to peace I’ve ever known.

But not even this place can give me peace anymore.

Not now. Not after her.

I grip the railing, my knuckles whitening as I stare out at the dark stretch of trees. My rifle leans against the side of the cabin, forgotten. Hunting used to clear my head — the quiet patience of the hunt, the stillness of waiting for the right moment. It’s what I was made for. Killing is the only thing I’ve ever been good at.

But Alina…

Alina has ruined me.

It’s been almost two months since I left the Bratva. Exactly seven weeks since I walked away from Viktor — from Alina. It's forty-nine days, but feels longer, like a fucking lifetime. I thought leaving would make it easier. That cutting the cord would rip her out of my head.

I was wrong.

She’s still there. In every breath. Every silence. Every fucking second.

I close my eyes, yet I see her regardless. The softness of her mouth, the electric blue of her eyes when she kisses me, the way her body felt beneath mine, and how I lost myself in her completely.

I was so fucking weak. But not weak enough to stay.

I left because it was the only way to protect her. I told myself that over and over again as I drove away — that leaving her was the only way to save her from me. From Viktor. From the fallout that would come when Viktor found out what we’d done.

But none of that matters anymore.

Because I can’t breathe without her.

My hand tightens on the railing as the truth sinks into my bones. There’s no point in running. No point in hiding. Without Alina, I’m already fucking dead.

I turn toward the rifle propped against the wall of the cabin. For a brief moment, I consider it. The weight of it in my hand. The clean solution of it. A single pull of the trigger. A quick end. No more guilt. No more longing.

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