Page 37 of Lust

Finding a bravado I wasn’t sure existed in me, I step forward until we are toe-to-toe. “Try and stop me,” I challenge, and without looking I unlock my phone and type 999 into the keypad, then holding it up, I turn the screen to face him. “I’ll do it if you don’t let me out of here.” I’m shocked by how calm and level my voice is, but inside I’m shaking head to toe. Every muscle is taut, almost to the point of cramp, and I feel sick.

I’m so focused on Roman that I don’t see or sense Blake behind me before it’s too late. Fingers wrap tightly around the wrist of my hand holding the phone. Panic blooms inside me, spreading like a nuclear explosion until it reaches the tips of my finger and toes.

“I’m sorry, Syd, but we can’t let you leave. For your own safety.”

“Bullshit!” The word flies from my lips, and I don’t feel an ounce of guilt or a burning desire to repent. Something I’m realising is increasingly common around these men.

Roman smiles, it’s wicked and far from previous smiles I’ve seen from him. Eyes on me, he reaches for my phone, peeling my fingers open when I resist, earning me a seductive chuckle.

“That’s it, Sydney, let her out.”

“Wh-what are you talking about? Who?” I’m asking but I know. Since Paul’s betrayal I’ve been hiding, keeping subdued, this other person inside me. A person who doesn’t fit with Pa’s or God’s vision—she doesn’t even fit my own vision—of the person I want to be.

“The real you, Sydney. The one who has been shackled her whole life, restrained, hiding behind the shadows of her faith. The one who wants all these answers, an explanation, a justification.”

Blake’s thumb rubs against the inside of my wrist, caressing in time with my rapid pulse, as he moves in closer behind me. A sense of deja vu washes over me. His hard body aligns with mine, brushing against me.

Shaking my head, I say, “No, you’re wrong.” But my words are weak, without heat or intention.

Roman finally takes my phone, locking the screen and tossing it onto a chair with a dull thud, before his hands come up to cup my face, tilting my head so I’m looking directly at him,no option to look away from the truth. “I’m not wrong. I’m never wrong.” His forehead creases for a split second, then it’s gone.

I know what he and Blake are doing. The rational part of me knows they are distracting me to avoid answering my questions, but as Roman lowers his face, his lips whispering across mine, all I can think about is the answer to another question that’s been on my mind since the day I met Roman Stone in Pa’s office.

What would it be like to fuck him?

Dirty thoughts and dirty words be damned. I want this, that part of me I’ve resisted, wants this so desperately she is willing to forgo answers to everything else just for a taste of freedom.

We can have some fun and get our answers after. Imagine how good it will feel.

The thought is manifested to life as Roman takes my mouth. He’s gentle at first, but my body is hijacked by another, and I drop my bag to the floor, wrapping my arms around his neck, and his kiss turns savage.

Roman thrusts his tongue into my mouth with a groan, and my body is pressed against his as Blake pins me between them, his hands grasping my hips.

Roman threads a hand through my tangled hair, gripping it at the base of my neck and pulling me back so he can look at me. His eyes are black like the soul of the devil. “Blake, kiss her,” he orders, then turns my head to the side.

Blake’s lips meet mine, and as I open for him Roman releases his hold on my hair and trails his hands up my sides, slipping beneath my top and raking his fingers up my rib cage. When he reaches my bare breasts and tweaks my nipples, I can’t contain a whimper, which Blake swallows before sucking on my bottom lip.

Blake breaks the kiss, and I turn back to see Roman watching us. So out of my depth. I’ve no real experience with one man let alone two. Roman rolls my nipples between his thumb andforefingers, squeezing and tugging, and like there’s a direct line to my pussy, arousal soaks through my underwear.

“Take off her trousers. I want to see her, to see her pussy weep for us,” Roman orders as he continues teasing my nipples, working me into a frenzy.

I shove down my fear at being exposed and concerns about my inexperience. But I do find myself praying I don’t come too quickly. I don’t question my choice of prayer topic and just allow myself to enjoy what is happening.

Blake leans in and whispers, “You okay, Syd?” I nod, unable to speak, and he undoes my jeans, shoving them and my knickers down my legs. I feel him crouch as he lifts one leg and then the other, removing everything below my waist.

Running his hands up my thighs, he taps my legs. “Open, Syd.”

I do it, and a second later, I feel Blake’s breath right there. Blowing hot breath across my opening before moving back further to my…Oh shit!

I instantly tense, never having been touched there before. “Relax. We aren’t going there tonight.” Then his fingers slip into my folds, dipping in and out of my pussy before caressing my clit.

Sensing that I’m spinning out a little, Roman grasps my chin with one hand and kisses me.

“How many times have you had sex, Sydney?” Roman asks when he breaks the kiss.

I struggle to focus on his words as Blake drives a finger into my pussy slowly. “Er…oh, uh…arrgh,” I cry as he hits a spot that sends a jolt of pleasure through me.

“Sydney, focus. How many times?” Roman presses.

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