Page 64 of Court of Heathens

I swallow the pain, falling into his eyes as I nod, but deep down, I worry.

I worry I will let him down and that I cannot be the change he needs.

I fear I will be the same as those who came before me, and when it comes down to it, I will lose myself in the darkness with the rest.

I’m still feeling a bit . . . sensitive, emotionally and physically. Using my powers took its toll. The demon forces me to eat, and then they just curl around me in bed. I should face my coven and check on them, but I cannot bring myself to. Instead, I melt into their arms.

My brain ponders everything that has happened.

“I am so sick of finding out secrets. My whole life is a lie. Everything I knew was wrong. I need to establish a new faith, a new system.” I turn to look at them. “If there are any more secrets or lies, tell me now. I mean it. I cannot handle this later. I do not want to be left in the dark anymore. That is a sure way to make me fall into that darkness.” There’s a pause, and my eyes flitter to my demon. “What is it?”

He looks guilty. “Freya . . .” The fact that he used my name makes me sit up.

My demon takes a deep breath as he sits as well. “The reason I made the deal . . . who I made the deal with . . . I did not lie. I did it to save you. Our lives are tied, but I never told you what happened, not really, for your own sake, but you are right. You deserve to know.”

I stare, knowing whatever I’m going to learn won’t be good. “Your mother made the deal.” I startle at that. “Your father and mother had been on the run when they were attacked. He died, and your mother sustained wounds. To keep you safe, she used her magic to bring you both here, to her old coven, who had been kind to her even after she’d fallen in love with your father, a necromancer. She was dying and terrified because she knew they would come for you. She begged Agatha to help her. They called me together. She made a deal that I would protect you and keep you safe.”

“What did you get out of it?” I whisper in horror.

“You, forever,” he admits. “She gave the last of her life to save you, Freya. Agatha and I decided never to tell you. We knew it wouldhurt you and expose you to the truth. I guess we foolishly hoped by not telling you, you would never find out what you really are and we could keep you safe.”

My laugh is bitter, and he flinches.

“I didn’t tell you . . . because I was scared you would leave me.”

“You were right to be,” I state coldly as I stand and leave him behind.

Everything I know is a lie, even my life.

I was never meant to be alive.

CHAPTER 34

Iwander, lost and confused. The coven is asleep at this time, so the streets are empty, which suits me just fine. For some reason, I find myself back at the tree where my demon and I sat recently. I guess deep down, I always knew there was a reason he was here, but I didn’t expect it to hurt so much.

I never even knew my parents. They were killed trying to keep me safe for simply being born this way, and the demon . . . he was supposed to protect me.

Hilarious.

I should know by now that everyone lies, everyone cheats, and everyone has a motive. I stare up at the tree, wondering why I get to live.

Was the necromancer right? Why am I alive when everyone else is dead? What right do I have to live when his son did not? I am not special. I might not be Phrixius’s hope like he wants. I am just one of many. I got lucky.

I am just . . .this.

It shouldn’t surprise me when he finds me. I knew he wouldn’t let me go—he can’t.

“Little witch,”he begins.

I turn. “Do not call me that and pretend like you care.”

“Care?” His brows furrow, fire crawling up his horns. “Of course I care.”

“I am just a deal to you!” I scream as everything catches up to me. “Stop lying to me. Stop toying with me, please.”

“I am not toying with you, little witch?—”

“Stop! Just . . . Just go,” I beg, my shoulders slumping. “Please, just leave me alone.”

---