Page 53 of Court of Heathens

“I love you too,” she says, caressing my cheek. “I don’t know when I fell for you, but I did, and I can’t deny it. I love you, every part of you.”

“If you can love me, Freya, then you can love yourself. Give it time,” I tell her as I kiss her head. I want to dance on the spot for her admission, knowing how much that cost her, but I don’t. I hold her tighter as she leans away.

“If you love me, then tell me who made the deal.”

Groaning, I close my eyes. “You tell a witch you love her, and she thinks that means you’ll tell her all your secrets.”

Huffing, she settles back in my arms. “Fine, but one day?”

“One day,” I promise as I kiss her head. “For now, let’s just soak in the peace. I have a feeling everything is about to get a whole lot more complicated.”

“You mean because there’s a necromancer tracking me down to join his evil legion and take over the world?”

“Yup, you would look good with a crown though,” I remark, and her laughter fills my soul, letting me know it’s all going to be okay.

CHAPTER 29

“That’s it, keep reaching for it. It’s like you would use your witch powers. It’s the intention that matters and how you wield it. It comes from the same place, but you locked that necromancer side away a long time ago. We need to free it slowly so it cannot be used against you or take you by surprise and leave you weak. I was hoping we could keep it locked away forever, but clearly we can’t, so you need to learn to control it. First, we’ll release it, just like that. Nice and slowly, like opening a door an inch at a time. You are doing great,” Phrixius instructs.

We sit opposite each other, our knees touching.

My demon took the zombie and creature for a walk to give us some peace since they keep sending my powers into disarray. I calmed down after my demon held me, and he urged me to come back. Neither Phrixius nor the creature commented on it. They simply smiled and welcomed me back. None of them looked at me differently, and Phrixius wasn’t hesitant to touch me or be around me.

I keep my eyes closed, focusing on his words. Now that I’m looking inside myself, I see the darkness I was hiding from. At first, I jerked away with fear, but his soothing voice urges me to reach for it.As if it were waiting for this, it surges towards me, making me gasp as my body jerks.

“Relax and do not fear it. It is a part of you, nothing more. It is controlled by you, not the other way around. That’s it, just breathe and let it flow through you. Do not block it or retreat. Fear is your biggest enemy. It will sense heightened emotions and react.”

Nodding, I try to relax, but as that darkness surges through my veins, it feels like my whole body fills to the point of bursting, like a balloon. The power is so strong, I’m surprised I’m not floating away.

This is so much more than I could have ever imagined, and the dark edge feels like vines slithering through my skin. Its sharp edges dig in, taking root. It’s ready to be wielded. I don’t know how long I sit here, fighting through it, before it finally stops.

It sits just under my skin, which feels too tight, but it’s still and I can take a deep breath. My eyes open and clash with Phrixius’s.

He nods. “You’re doing amazing, Freya,” he praises. “Okay, you have released it. Now you must learn to control it. Just like your normal powers, it reacts to what you want and feel, so you need an iron fist. If you get mad, it could mean someone’s death. You need to be aware of that at all times. Imagine a wall, any is fine, and build it inside yourself.”

“Around my power?” I ask with a frown.

“No, around your soul. You must be strong. Think of the strongest wall you can and imagine it surrounding you so nothing can penetrate it, and then step inside it.”

I do as I’m told. It takes a while, and the wall crumbles a few times, so I change from wood to steel. Once I’m inside it, I open my eyes and meet his.

“Good, now every time you feel panic, scared, or angry, imagine it bouncing off that wall and back in until you can control it,” he murmurs.

My back aches, so it’s clear we have been here for hours.

“We’ll take a little break, and then we will try to block the other necromancer and practice control. Unfortunately, we do not have time to go slow or take it easy. You need to learn as quickly as you can. Idon’t specialise in necromancy, but I have met enough and know their history, so I can help a little.”

Nodding, I watch him as he stretches his arms up.

“Why haven’t you killed me?” I murmur. “You’re a god, one of magic. It’s your job to stop necromancers . . . so why didn’t you kill me?”

His arms drop as he eyes me, thinking how to respond.

“I should have. It’s my duty,” he admits. “But I couldn’t do it. You were not what I was expecting when I felt the call. You are good. Deep down, you are good. You are not evil, and you haven’t given into the darkness. I was just hoping I could save you and that you were strong enough to fight it. Maybe we can change history for the better this time. I never liked having to end a whole kind just because there is magic in them. As the god of magic, I understand it all has its place, but the others feared it. I was hoping if I were here, then I could help somehow and that I could save you. I have seen so much death, Freya. For once, I wanted life. I wanted to believe in hope. I wanted to believe in you.”

“Why me?”

“I don’t know,” he replies. “There’s something in you, something different. Despite what you are, you still fight to be good. You’re so strong and filled with life, even with death at your fingertips. You are a perfect blend of naivety and anger, sinner and saint, witch and human, good and bad. If anyone stands a chance, Freya, it’s you, and I want you to win. I believe you can. Without hope, what’s the point of living?”

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