Page 56 of King of Violence

We’re now in one of my favorite safe houses, sitting in a small room that smells faintly of disinfectant and cold air—the kind of room you’d expect to find in a place meant for hiding, for laying low when everything outside is about to collapse. It isn’t a place for warmth or comfort. But somehow, with Felix here, it feels different.

I sit next to him on the bed, my hand resting on his thigh as the weight of the situation pushes down on me like a thousand pounds.

“Are you okay?” Felix’s voice is low, almost too soft for the situation, but I can hear his concern. He isn’t asking for reassurance, but because he can see what this is doing to me.

I don’t know how to answer. I’m not okay. I can’t be okay when I’m being forced to choose between the man I love and the family that raised me and shaped me into the person I am.

Love.

That’s new.

“I’m fine,” I say, my voice rough with emotion. I want to say more and explain the war inside my head, but it feels like there’s no point. There’s no explanation for the mess I’ve created, no easy way to undo the damage.

Felix’s fingers curl around mine in a silent promise. The touch grounds me and reminds me that for all the chaos outside, in this moment, we still have each other. I need that now, more than anything.

His lips brush against my ear, warm and soft, sending a shiver down my spine. “You’re not fine, Julian,” he murmurs, his voice low and inviting. “But I’ll be here, whenever you want to talk.”

I close my eyes and try to steady my breath. “I don’t deserve you, Felix,” I whisper.

“You never have,” he replies, his voice filled with dark humor. “But I’m not going anywhere.”

His lips find mine, and I’m helpless against them. He tastes of peppermint and his skin is soft against my callused hands. My heart. My man. He’s everything pure in this world. Untainted.

“Run away with me,” I mumble against his mouth.

He chuckles slightly, his hands slipping beneath my shirt. “Are you asking or telling?”

I push him down against the bed and pull off my shirt in one swift motion. “Telling. I’m not letting you get away.”

Felix’s pupils dilate as he stares at my muscled abdomen. I wonder what he’s thinking. Felix always surprises me when it comes to sex. I never quite know what role I’m going to play until I’m in the thick of it.

Felix’s eyes darken as his fingers smoothly unbutton his shirt. “Show me how much you want to keep me.”

My dick twitches at the challenge. I pull off every inch of Felix’s clothing torturously slow. My mouth kisses down his hip bones, his thighs. My tongue traces along his thick cock. Felix pinches his nipples as his back arches off the bed.

“Julian.” My name on his mouth sounds so sweet that I can’t restrain myself anymore.

I push Felix’s knees up to his chest with one hand while shoving two of my fingers deep into his mouth. He chokes, but then begins to suck on them greedily.

“That’s enough, baby,” I say. Jesus Christ, I’m trying to take things slow and show Felix how much I care for him, but he’smaking it too hard for me. I want him screaming from the mixture of pain and pleasure, but I have to stay focused.

He releases my fingers with apopand I gently press them into his hole.

Felix gasps.

“That feel good?” I graze my lips against his leg.

“Yes, Julian. Yes.” He covers his eyes with his arm.

“Touch yourself, counselor. I want to see you get off.” I’m restraining my own hand from slipping into my joggers.

Felix’s hand grabs onto his dick and starts moving slowly. I spread his knees a little bit so I can spit onto his cock. The added lubricant must have done the trick, because Felix’s hand starts pumping wildly.

“God, baby, you look so good.” I finger his ass as I watch the dirty little show that’s just for me.

“Julian, fuck me,” he whimpers, his cheeks flushed a deep crimson. He tries to pull me closer, but I resist.

“Keep touching yourself, Felix.” My voice is low and gruff.

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