Page 22 of Echoes in the Night

When she joins me in the kitchen, I pull her in for a hug. She wraps her arms around me and lays her head on my chest.

“You’re always so warm. Like my personal heated blanket. Sleeping with you is the best. All cuddly and snug.”

I force a smile and hand her coffee. “Sit down, I’ll bring the food over.”

I sit across from her and she studies me for a long moment. I can’t meet her eyes. I’m not eating, just pushing the food around my plate.

“You’re regretting it already. Look—I’m not going to be all clingy. I know it didn’t mean anything.”

I lock my gaze with hers. “I’m not regretting a goddamn thing. Not the best connection I’ve ever had in my life. But I forgot protection. I never forget.” I huff out my self-disgust. “Are you on anything?”

Her face pales. “I—I ah get the shot, but I don’t remember if I’m still current. I haven’t really needed it. The info is in my phone, and it was in my backpack. If I could call my doctor they’d know. I’m sorry.”

“This is on me. My responsibility.” I reach out and cover her hand where it trembles next to her plate. “That said, I won’t lie. When I realized, and that you could be pregnant, a part of me was happy, excited. You’ll be so beautiful pregnant, and I know you’ll be a great mom. You know everything not to do.

“I already know I want to marry you. But we’re just getting to know each other. I want to court you like you deserve.” I pause, pulling my hand back and running it over my head. My heart is racing, I feel on the brink of losing control. I want this so bad. “Damn, I’m fucking this all up. I’m saying everything wrong.”

Maura reaches over and covers my other hand. “Jax, take a deep breath and look at me.”

When I do, she smiles.

“You’re saying everything you’re feeling and that’s never wrong. You’re saying everything I want to hear. You’re right, neither one of us acted responsibly. But I feel just like you. I want you, too, Jax. I know it’s quick and there are things we’ll have to work out, like where you’re comfortable living. I can do some work from here but I need reliable connectivity to the other businesses.

“I have to believe that two intelligent hard-working people like us can figure this out. I think you’d be a great dad. Dependable and ever present. Neither one of us had that from our parents. We’ll do it right.

“All of that said, it could be that we’re fine. We’ll use protection until we can get to town. If I’m pregnant we’ll deal with it then.”

“Maura, I wasn’t kidding. I want to marry you. I wanted to marry you before and I still do. I’m not leaving you when this is over, unless you send me away. I know it may sound crazy, but I feel like I was meant to find you. That it was more than your voice that guided me to you.

“I’ll always protect you Maura, no matter what you decide.”

Chapter Fourteen

Maura

I’ll always protect you, Maura.

And I’m going to save you from yourself, big guy. Because you’re mine.

The lost, almost terrified look in his eye when he was telling mehisfailure, how he let me down, almost broke my heart. Like everything in the world rides on his shoulders.

“You’ll know when it’s the one, Maura. Don’t settle for less. He’s out there, just be patient.”Grandma said the last time we were together, when I was bemoaning my lack of a love life.

Jax is myone. Honest almost to a fault. Thoughtful. An old-fashioned guy, a man’s man, a protector. The kind of man who would be loyal and always keep his word. He has a few demons, but don’t we all?

He keeps a hand over mine as if he’s afraid I’ll bolt the minute he lets me go. But I’m a fighter too, and he’s mine.

We clean the kitchen together then go check the chickens. He lets me bring a couple more of his carved animals inside. I love the simplicity of his early work when he was young. Cleanlines, basic. A dog and a cat. They are perfect for little hands and mouths with fewer sharp edges.

As he perfected his craft the detail and intricacy are apparent. The features of a panther getting ready to strike, a mother possum embracing her young. I see the subtle perfection of his larger more mature animals with bared teeth and attack stance.

The world he’s come to know as a warrior, the battles, the losses, the need to defend and protect are all apparent in his more recent work. His principles, his own existence influences the animal designs, their maturity and responsibility have changed. The carved buck watching over his family on the tabletop is a perfect example.

Yet who defends him? Who protects him from the nightmares and horrors.

I hold the basket of eggs and he carries me back to the cabin. At the door he pauses. “Do you mind taking care of these? Now that the snow has stopped, I want to do a little recon. I also want to go to higher ground to see if I can get my satellite phone to work and assess what it’s going to take to get you to town.”

“Sure. I’ll start prepping dinner. I thought I’d make pasta with sautéed vegetables and left over biscuits for dinner tonight.”

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