Page 59 of The Future Play

“That’s a lot to ask,” I whisper.

“Then take it one thing at a time. I promise to keep showing you the truth of my feelings.”

“Fine,” I sigh. “I guess if you’re determined to date me, you should know my baggage.”

“It’s the only way I can help you carry it.”

I stare at him for a long beat. It’s hard to let the most vulnerable part of me out, but he’s working hard to show me I can trust him. More than that, I feel safe with him. And I’m doing my best not to let my brain overthink or undermine that.

“Okay. Maci, my ex, was my best friend from early elementary school until the beginning of eleventh grade.”

“How long were you two together?”

“Theoretically, a little over a year, but we were never official. If you ever see me giving Hyla myyes-I’m-judging-youface, that’s why. Sometimes I see similarities there that make me extra protective of Mackie.”

“Why is it I know exactly what face you mean?”

I shove his shoulder. “Stay on topic. Unless you don’t want to know the story.”

“Tell me.”

“We met in elementary school and formed a little group with two other friends. There was always a little something extra between the two of us, though. It wasn’t until the summer before tenth grade that things shifted. We were having a sleepover and joking about something, and she said she wanted to know what kissing a girl would be like. I already knew I was bi and had for a while, but hadn’t actively come out to anyone besides my family and Jace. So, I told her. She asked if I’d be willing to kiss her, and I will never forget how exciting that thought was. I’d never kissed another girl before. Only boys. So, we did. We ended up under my covers all night touching each other while we kissed. She didn’t want to tell anyone, but she wanted to do it again, so every week we had a sleepover. Every week we kissed and touched each other. Until sleepovers lasted all weekend and we were at each other’s houses after school every day.”

“Wow. I’m guessing things were complicated if you aren’t sure whether to consider it a real relationship.”

“You could say that. It was about six months in that we agreed it was a relationship, and after some talking, we agreed I could tell my parents. It made sleepovers a little more supervised, but I felt so free. We could be a couple. Except at school. Or her house. She was afraid of how her parents would act or how our friends would handle it, so she wanted to wait. It was a secret, but I was her secret and she was mine. At the end of the school year, she agreed we’d tell everyone when we went back in September. We spent all summer together. We dideverythingsexually speaking. And we were in love.”

I let out a bitter laugh and shake my head—at the pain thatstill simmers inside me because of it, or my own stupidity, I don’t know.

“Iwas in love withher. That desperate, longing kind of love. I was so excited for school to start, but once it did, she got quiet and distant, then refused to speak to me. When I showed up at her house, she told me I needed to get over my feelings. The quarterback of the football team asked her out, and she was going to date him. She said everything with us was an experiment, and she didn’t want to be with a girl. I tried to call her out, but she walked away and had her mother ask me to leave and not come back. She stopped speaking to me and so did our other two friends. Nothing makes you question your worth or your sanity like someone convincing you they love you, then telling you it was all in your head.”

“Jesus. That’s fucked up.” He stares at me for a moment, then steps forward and cups my cheek. “You deserve so much better than that. And she is insane for letting you go. Clearly, she didn’t know what she had, or she never would have. You’re magic and light and kindness personified. I’m sorry she hurt you, and I’m sorryIhurt you. I swear to you, I will never take a second of you, your time, or your beautiful heart for granted.”

“Jamie.” His name is a hushed whisper as it slips from my lips.

Then gently, so gently, his lips brush over mine. A whisper of a kiss that both lights me on fire and makes me want to collapse into him. To give in and let him have me. Let him take care of me in the way I’ve craved for so long.

“Let’s go show her what she’s missing out on,” he says, breath tickling my lips as he rests his head against mine.

“What?” Something about him being so close and the tone of his voice has me feeling a little loopy.

“We’re going to go back out there. You’re going to sit up tall and let me show her what she’s missing.” He brushes some hair off my shoulder, his fingertips grazing my neck. “With every little touch, she’s going to know you’re mine, and you found someone who values you. Because I do, Amanda. I see your worth and I’mgrateful you’re even bothering to talk to me. And until you unequivocally tell me no, I’m going to consider you mine. Mine to take care of. Mine to protect.” He trails his fingers over my collarbone. “Mine to adore.” He leans in, lips hovering over my neck. “Because you deserve to be adored.” Then he firmly presses his lips against my neck, and I have to bite my lip to keep from moaning.

My hands slide into his hair, not sure if I want to lift his head or keep him there.

Slowly, his lips pull from my skin, and he whispers in my ear, “I’ve got you.”

It’s impossible to argue with that, so I let him take my hand and lead me back to the table.

“Sorry about that.” I slide into the booth, and Jamie takes his spot next to me, wrapping his arm around my back.

“Is everything okay?” Marissa asks, eyes going from me to Jamie.

“Yes, I…”

“The waitress is Amanda’s ex, and she didn’t treat Amanda well,” Jamie says in a low voice to his mom.

“Oh. Would you like me to see if I can get a different waitress?”

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